Page 6 | Leaving a 16 year old home while on holiday

Afewweeksofsummer · 2023-08-31T16:54:42+00:00

What are peoples views on this? Completely hypothetical situation. Teen doesn't want to go on UK holiday anymore, next year he will be 16 and my mum thinks that by then it will be fine to leave him home alone for up to a week. Im not so sure and think 16 is still a bit too young.

HappiestSleeping · 01/09/2023 12:51

I'd been on holiday around Holland with a mate by 16, so was perfectly capable of being by myself for a week at that age. I could cook, clean up behind myself, had been to too many parties at friend's houses to ever have one at my own house. If I recall that far back, being a 16 year old boy would have been full of ideas of lots of sex, but not a great deal of opportunity so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

I think that children today are definitely not as advanced as my generation (OMG I feel old saying that), however, and I don't mean this provocatively, but I think that is largely to do with the fact that many are wrapped in cotton wool and not taught to fend for themselves.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 01/09/2023 12:54

We left 16 year old DD at home (her choice) for two weeks whilst we went abroad. Nan and grandad lived round the corner so could pop in. It was fine

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 01/09/2023 13:10

@Afewweeksofsummer
Sounds like you need to review your situation again next year before you actually go .

I agree that the being lonely is a big issue - and TBH I would rather my child had their mates or BF/GF round than them being lonely .

Is there the opportunity for them to spend part of the week with you and then return on the train like we did with ours ?

Things may be very different in a year's time though . At 15 my DS was into health foods, was never going to drink alcohol, and by 16 he was party central ! (Although you may not find that reassuring ).

berksandbeyond · 01/09/2023 13:13

Beachywave · 31/08/2023 18:09

I mean, I had two jobs and a baby at 17 so would obviously have been fine at 16...

I left my 15 year old for two nights and made him promise not to use the oven incase he forgot about it! Planning to leave him for a long weekend in April (he'll be 16 by then) and I'm trusting him.

Having a baby by 17 doesn’t exactly confirm you were a sensible 16 year old, most people would say quite the opposite

SiobhanSharpe · 01/09/2023 13:24

Depends on the kid. We left 16 year old DS on his own for a few days, he was fine with it. It may have been a week, I can't remember exactly.

He has always been very sensible apart from university days when he let rip for a bit (but still managed a good degree from a very good university.)
Anyway, we said no parties but he could have a few no more than 4 friends round and we expected to find the house much as we left it.
He pretty much kept to the rules, had a few friends round, they probably had a few beers and there were a few cig butts on the patio. They didn't smoke in the house.
The house was slightly grubby by our standards on our return but absolutely in line with teenage boy standards. We counted it as a success.

Longagonow96 · 01/09/2023 13:25

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 18:04

Not a chance I’d leave my 16 year old alone for a week irrespective of personality. Not a chance. All meal prep, washing, dealing with any home emergencies, locking up every night and ensuring property secure and, most importantly, being alone at night, every night, for a week.

not. A. Chance

How sad that you gave brought your child up to be so incompetent and irresponsible.

FanDeath · 01/09/2023 13:28

I'd be worried if you couldn't leave a 16yr old for a week tbh, barring any physical or mental health problems.

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 13:36

Longagonow96 · 01/09/2023 13:25

How sad that you gave brought your child up to be so incompetent and irresponsible.

Show quote history

Heavens

Capable yes
do I want it? No

I was utterly self indulged 16 year old!

I am now a professional single parent of two children entirely in charge of my finances and domain!

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 13:36

berksandbeyond · 01/09/2023 13:13

Having a baby by 17 doesn’t exactly confirm you were a sensible 16 year old, most people would say quite the opposite

Show quote history

😂

Milkand2sugarsplease · 01/09/2023 13:37

I stayed home alone for a week at 16 and loved it.
16yo's can leave home and live alone for goodness sake - surely they should be able to manage a few days home alone without wreaking havoc.

PassMeTheRedbull · 01/09/2023 13:46

I had my own home and a baby at 16 and we survived just fine 🙄

Beezknees · 01/09/2023 13:49

I wouldn't for a week. Maybe for a night or 2.

I was pregnant at 17 too and I wouldn't want that life for my DS!

familyissues12345 · 01/09/2023 14:02

Personally think it's a bit young. We first left DS1 overnight aged 17, and hes a pretty sensible lad (although one who would also have mates over..)

Sgtmajormummy · 01/09/2023 14:05

It’s not long until they’re off to University where they ought to know the basics of housekeeping, hopefully not by crash course.
DD (17) has had several 3/4 days alone this summer and has enjoyed it immensely.
Managed the daily cleaning, recycling and clothes washing no problem. Went out with friends, watched parent-unsuitable teen TV, went around town and didn’t do summer homework!

I got her Hello Fresh the first time as she’s keen to go beyond basic cooking. She did about half the box (“why cut a carrot into matchsticks for myself ? I just ate it peeled!”, a woman after my own heart) and just ate the components after that, so maybe that was a bit ambitious.

If you trust your kid I think this is a good way to show it. You’re much more able to check up on him than our parents were on us!

Sgtmajormummy · 01/09/2023 14:08

I gave her €10 a day for entertainment and a veto against visitors. Not bad for a 17yo…

OhmygodDont · 01/09/2023 14:15

I just talked to my oldest about this.

He reckons he would be fine if I left the fridge full of milk, cheese, butter, cheese slices, ham. The freezer had chicken burgers and chicken nuggets. There was milkshake powder, wraps, rolls and pot noodles 😂

He goes I know how to use the air fryer and the kettle. I’d feed cat X so I guess I’d be feeding them all 🤦🏻‍♀️

His not overly social either so I wouldn’t expect parties unless he changes a lot between now and being 16. He can actually cook makes a mean jam roly poly and chilli.

Though he did say he would go in the pool even if it was December so hmmmm it’s not heated. It’s outside.

letshaveanicecuppatea · 01/09/2023 20:17

I was left alone for a week at 16. I had a fab party one night, a games evening one night and I hosted a dinner party one night. I felt so grown up. I was told to have no one round and when mum & dad found out and I got such a rollicking!

My younger sister was later left alone for a week at 16. She had a friend to stay for the week. They had a party and went to the pub first. Someone yelled there's a party at this address and loads and loads of strangers turned up from the pub. My mum & dad owned a B&B and every room had little meters on the wall where you put a 5p coin in for the fire to be on. The meters were smashed off the walls and the money taken. The bedrooms were trashed and someone set fire to a mattress. The front door was half wood and half stained glass and the stained glass was all smashed. Lots of things were smashed and trashed. Mum & Dad came home and went ballistic! Sister and friend went to school next day but jumped off the bus and ran away. They went to stay with a stranger who'd come to the party. The Police finally found them a week later. Mum & Dad never said a word after that as they were scared that telling her off or punishing her would make her runaway again!

HappyAsASandboy · 01/09/2023 20:35

My parents left me and a friend at home for two weeks at 16. We had friends round, parties, and sex (not with each other, and not in my parents bed ). We also learned to cook for ourselves, how not to miss the school bus because there was no backup, how to do our own washing, the responsibility of looking after the pets with no back up .....

I'd leave my kids at 16 if they're like I was. And I hope they'd have a party and break something and work out how to put things right before I got home.

All part of growing up, isn't it?

Strawberryboost · 03/09/2023 10:40

PassMeTheRedbull · 01/09/2023 13:46

I had my own home and a baby at 16 and we survived just fine 🙄

@PassMeTheRedbull i don’t think anyone is concerned that their 16 year wouldn’t “survive”. It’s a touch more nuanced than that

AuntieMarys · 03/09/2023 10:42

We did with both of ours. Everything was fine

PuppyMonkey · 03/09/2023 10:49

letshaveanicecuppatea · 01/09/2023 20:17

I was left alone for a week at 16. I had a fab party one night, a games evening one night and I hosted a dinner party one night. I felt so grown up. I was told to have no one round and when mum & dad found out and I got such a rollicking!

My younger sister was later left alone for a week at 16. She had a friend to stay for the week. They had a party and went to the pub first. Someone yelled there's a party at this address and loads and loads of strangers turned up from the pub. My mum & dad owned a B&B and every room had little meters on the wall where you put a 5p coin in for the fire to be on. The meters were smashed off the walls and the money taken. The bedrooms were trashed and someone set fire to a mattress. The front door was half wood and half stained glass and the stained glass was all smashed. Lots of things were smashed and trashed. Mum & Dad came home and went ballistic! Sister and friend went to school next day but jumped off the bus and ran away. They went to stay with a stranger who'd come to the party. The Police finally found them a week later. Mum & Dad never said a word after that as they were scared that telling her off or punishing her would make her runaway again!

Edited

But apart from that, it was absolutely fine.

Ifallelsefailschocolate · 03/09/2023 11:38

@berksandbeyond
Having a baby by 17 doesn’t exactly confirm you were a sensible 16 year old, most people would say quite the opposite

Must depend how far up your own arse you are - I don’t know anyone who would agree with this

I hope you and your family didn’t have to deal with such hostile judgment @Beachywave It’s hard enough for teen parents with out such attitudes

AvocadotoastORahouse · 03/09/2023 13:18

@Ifallelsefailschocolate how many parents do you imagine are delighted when their 16 year old gets pregnant?? It's hardly the life most, including here on MN, would dream of for their children.

It's a very hard slog being a young parent and limits their future in many ways. We've all heard the stories of the girl who had a baby at 17 and ended up going to Oxford and now earns six figures, but the stats in the U.K. at least don't bear this out - many teen parents end up in poor paying jobs/on benefits with limited life options due to lack of education or experience.

So no I wouldn't say having a baby at 16/17 show maturity or responsibility.

User18598390 · 29/11/2023 15:25

We did in the UK at 16 and 17 but didn't abroad until he was 18

TheaBrandt · 29/11/2023 15:39

It’s a case by case basis really so impossible to say depends on the child / where you live etc.

If the child is sensible and is ok about it with neighbours nearby and a school night then in your circumstances I probably would do it. Wouldn’t make a habit of it but this sounds like a collection of circumstances.

We left our 15 and 17 year old for one night and it was the wrong decision but we have a party girl and it was at the weekend. No harm done but both concluded we wouldn’t do it again!