Page 5 | Leaving a 16 year old home while on holiday

Afewweeksofsummer · 2023-08-31T16:54:42+00:00

What are peoples views on this? Completely hypothetical situation. Teen doesn't want to go on UK holiday anymore, next year he will be 16 and my mum thinks that by then it will be fine to leave him home alone for up to a week. Im not so sure and think 16 is still a bit too young.

SmellsLikeTeenSpirits · 31/08/2023 21:41

This is making me think about how much my 15 yo DD has to learn in next couple of years 😆 She would hate to be left on her own anyway but also would either die of starvation, dehydration or suffer complete muscle atrophy due to only moving her scrolling thumb for a week.

curaçao · 31/08/2023 23:39

Friends of ours did that and came home to £73000 worth of party damage to their house and the insurance wouldn't pay a penny

idril · 31/08/2023 23:57

I am leaving my 17 year old boy and 16 year old girl alone for a week. Wouldn't leave the 16 year old on her own though (and she wouldn't want to be left alone either).

Pretty nervous about it but they are both sensible and grandparents are 5 mins down the road.

jolaylasofia · 31/08/2023 23:59

i went on holiday with my mates at 16! don't know what we have done to our kids generation. They are all very dependent and immature. I would never leave my 16 year old or let her go away on her own

ThinWomansBrain · 01/09/2023 00:00

I left home at 16, had my own flat.

FeigningConcern · 01/09/2023 01:08

If your 16 year old can't cope on their own for a week, you've done something wrong. I know loads of people who left home at 16 ffs.

I probably wouldn't do it because of the risk of parties but if there's no chance if that then I wouldn't be worried.

If you are behind the curve, you've got a year to prep him. Make sure he knows what he needs to do to ensure the house is safe and kept clean (ish!). Make sure he knows what to do in all types of emergencies. Make sure he knows how to cook for himself if he doesn't already. Give him some practice runs, stay away a a night then a weekend for example. If he really wants to stay home next year that'll be his motivation so a good opportunity for you to teach him some independence!

Yellowcakestand · 01/09/2023 01:32

I was working and moved out at 16. Depends on the person

AvocadotoastORahouse · 01/09/2023 01:35

curaçao · 31/08/2023 23:39

Friends of ours did that and came home to £73000 worth of party damage to their house and the insurance wouldn't pay a penny

Was there any house left standing?

incognito50me · 01/09/2023 06:32

My daughter's BF was left home alone for a week while his parents and siblings went on vacation. He was just 15 and had a sport camp to attend during the day. We are not in the UK.
He cooked for himself, mom had done a big shop in preparation and he did fine. His aunts were 20 minutes away if he had needed them. No parties, no incidents.
What his parents didn't know is that he had his very new GF (my DD, then 14) around most days. I was also not aware at the time that a) they went to his house and b) his parents were away. There was no sex going on at the time, but I am sure his parents would not have been so happy with this, welcoming as they are.

I would leave my DD (now 15) alone for a weekend. As she's not a great cook, I'd leave money for a takeout for one day and she could make easy meals the rest of the time. I'm confident she wouldn't have a party, but would have her BF and friends over (not together). The BF's parents would not allow a sleepover (I'd actually be fine with a sleepover at this point, as he's sensible, a good cook, and they are sexually active anyway with appropriate contraception). I would worry she'd get a bit spooked and lonely if it were for more than a couple of days, but perhaps in a year this will have changed.

Rewis · 01/09/2023 06:37

When I was 16 the family road trip was not presented as being optional 😁

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 06:47

Dramatic · 31/08/2023 20:57

No 😂 and I'm not sure why you're bringing up a 5 year old, I'm pretty sure no one is considering leaving a child that young on their own for a week.

What I said is true though, I was doing that at that age so obviously some 16 year olds are capable of that. And I'd say most, if not all, 16 year olds should be able to manage for a week.

Show quote history

You’re rather literal aren’t you?! 😂

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 06:50

And yes - most 16 years old would absolutely “manage” for a week

the difference is those that feel comfortable with leaving our 16 year old alone for 7 days and nights, to put upon the the responsibility of securing the family home each night, waking up alone each morning, dealing with any home emergency that crops up etc.

and myself, along with others, don’t want that for our child (and yes, they are a child at 16) despite knowing that push came to shove - of course their 16 year old could “manage” ie they wouldn’t starve to death!

Maddy70 · 01/09/2023 06:56

I couldn't be left alone for 30 minutes without bonking when I was 16

User1659463 · 01/09/2023 07:32

DS had the downstairs toilet cistern break when we were away, it wouldn't stop flushing water and he was very sensible and hooked up the ballcock somehow with a garden cane to stop it and when we got home said, oh the toilet broke but it was alright as I did this to fix it until dad could mend it.

PinkRoses1245 · 01/09/2023 07:32

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 17:55

my parents went away for one night when I was 16

i had a huge party

Me to.

Siameasy · 01/09/2023 07:54

Why haven’t people taught their kids as many life skills these days? Cooking, using appliances…locking up-do you live in a fortress or something?! No wonder they all seem to have anxiety, they’re not able to do anything adult.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 01/09/2023 07:59

I lived on my own at 16 with a baby, I'm sure he'll be fine. Just keep the cupboards and fridge stocked.

AgentJohnson · 01/09/2023 08:09

It depends on the 16 year old. DD is 16 and I will be taking a long weekend next year. If she doesn’t want to go on the family holiday next year (she probably will because it’s her turn to choose the destination) then she will be staying home alone. DD is sensible but I wouldn’t agree to a sleepover longer than a two nights in our home.

Blarn · 01/09/2023 08:21

I was left for a week at 16, might have just turned 17 thinking about it. My boyfriend stayed a few days, had a couple of friends round for a bbq, cooked, looked after the cat, washed clothes. Went to the supermarket for food. All fine. I would never had organised a party though or let anyone know that I had the house to myself as I had heard of and beer to some massive out of control house parties.

I do think it is sad the number of posters who are not concerned about parties but that their 16 year olds would not cope with meals or locking up at night or putting a bin out. How are they not capable of these things at 16? How will they ever learn if not given some trust?

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 11:15

Siameasy · 01/09/2023 07:54

Why haven’t people taught their kids as many life skills these days? Cooking, using appliances…locking up-do you live in a fortress or something?! No wonder they all seem to have anxiety, they’re not able to do anything adult.

I don’t think you seem to have ever learned to read, digest, and then respond

no one is saying their 16 year can’t cook or secure a property
What we are saying is that we don’t want our 16 yr old child going to bed alone, waking up alone, entirely responsible for the family home day and night in terms of securing and dealing with any issues

Original poster

Afewweeksofsummer · 01/09/2023 11:58

Didn't really want this to run into a slanging match or a criticism of parenting skills 🙄

As already said. Ds isn't really the partying type, he's quiet with not many close friends.

He does have life skills. He can prepare a simple meal, go grocery shopping, work the washing machine and dishwasher, he locks up each morning for school.

It's just a case of whether it would be a bit overwhelming being completely alone for a week and whether he'd cope in an absolute emergency. For example a leak, a fire, a break in.

He hasn't really had to deal with much purely because there nearly always been someone home and everything has been on our doorstep.

Once he starts college and work and has to venture out alone more I have no doubts at all of his capabilities.

OP posts:

AvocadotoastORahouse · 01/09/2023 12:34

I wouldn't jump straight into leaving a 16 year old for a week. I'd try a weekend or long weekend first and see how he feels/ how he gets on. If he's lonely by the Monday, he may decide a week on his own is not for him and come on the main trip anyway. Or he may be absolutely fine, enjoy it and be looking forward to a week by himself.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 01/09/2023 12:41

Recently left my 16 year old DS for a week. He was fine, stopped over at a mate's house a couple of times, had friend stop over at ours, cooked for himself, went to work.

He has loads of friends and had a few round one night, but he had asked permission. I gave him a curfew and he stuck to it.

We have cameras!

Depends on your 16 year old. Mine is mature and sensible.

KnittedCardi · 01/09/2023 12:42

I was living in the family home alone at 16, my parents retired and went to live in Italy for 6 months a year. It was great, just me and the cat. I went to college, had a weekend job, looked after the cat, shopped and cooked, cleaned house. Booked flights independently, flew out and visited them, got myself home etc etc

The only thing I would say is that it made me very independent and self sufficient and then not entirely receptive to my DM when she demanded I look after her in her old age, and that I was selfish to say no.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 01/09/2023 12:46

We left our DS at 16 / 17 when we went for short breaks in the UK, and on a couple of occasions when we went for a week he came for the first couple of days and then got the train back . He always came with us when we went abroad . The neighbours reported to us one party being held - noticeably because they were playing music in the garden and dancing on the shed roof 🙄. Everything tidied away and cleaned up afterwards though - and no further parties as I was very clear that I was encouraging the neighbours of calling the police .