Leaving a 16 year old home while on holiday

[Afewweeksofsummer]

What are peoples views on this? Completely hypothetical situation.

Teen doesn't want to go on UK holiday anymore, next year he will be 16 and my mum thinks that by then it will be fine to leave him home alone for up to a week. Im not so sure and think 16 is still a bit too young.

I loved being left home alone at 16.

Had a blast.

Nope. Absolutely not.

A friend of mine was left home alone by her mum at that age for two weeks and had an absolutely disastrous house party which resulted in the police being called, serious (structural) damage to the house, theft of sentimentally significant items etc. Loads of people in their 20s and older arrived including some quite rough elements, there was a lot of (hard) drug taking and it was quite frightening. This is a freak occurrence but it's seared onto my memory.

Even if your kid isn't like that (and most aren't), the chances of them being upset, anxious and unsettled are high.

To add my just turned 15 yo would be completely capable but will wait till he's 16.

No, not at 16. I'm always surprised when I see so many people on Mumsnet saying they think it's fine (this thread comes up quite often).

I also don't think "working full time at 16" (how does that happen or maybe that poster is not in the UK) or having a baby at 17 are any kind of indicators of maturity. Exactly the opposite in the latter case, tbh.

Just left our 18 year old and two 16 year olds as they refused to come on a short uk break with us. The 16 year old has just sent us a picture of a meal she cooked, I’d say the 16 year old is as mature as the 18 year old. Next year we’ll be leaving the two 16 year olds for a week if they refuse to come although they will be nearly 17. I don’t think I would leave a 16 year old for any length on their own.

my eldest would be fine, but would want to come with us, my middle child -not a chance, god knows what we would come home to. My youngest - not sure, there is every chance they would blow the house up, most likely unintentionally.

My parents went to Turkey for two weeks when I had not long turned 16. Everyone survived, including our house.

I think it's too young op.

I would. I have a long child free weekend planned next year just before my ds's 16th. I lived alone at that age. He's an only child and pretty mature, can cook a few basic meals etc. Way too much babying of teenagers these days. Of course if he's into drugs/alcohol and going off the rails then probably not.

Legally a 16 year old can live on their own plenty do.

What are your specific concerns about leaving him? Is there ac way you can settle your nerves by teaching certain things I.e. if you are worried about him feeding himself why not make some meals for the freezer together?

He won’t be ready unless you put the time in to make him

Sorry but I think it’s quite an indictment on your parenting if say you “not a chance” to leaving a 16 year old. Would definitely leave our older one.

I'm leaving my 16 year old for 4 nights soon. I know she's having friends around on (at least) the first night as she asked and I said she could. But she quite often has a lot of friends around and there's never any trouble even if we're not here. She'll also get herself to work and college and look after the pets with no trouble.

I have relatives very close by, neighbours we're very friendly with and a ring doorbell so I'm not worried in the slightest.

If you're not happy with it though then that's up to you and you should ignore your mum!

I lived on my own and had a baby at 16, what makes you think most 16 year olds can't manage the very simple things you mentioned for a week?!

But the fact is people run a house at that age.

I left my DS16 home alone for a week last summer. The worst that happened was him forgetting to put the bins out.
I have a ring doorbell and the layout of our house, he couldn't get anyone in without me knowing. Neighbours knew I was away, so kept an eye out for him.

Exactly this.

🤣

I was the eldest and parents left me at home for the week at 16, no issues.
Sibling was left for ghe night and had a party wrecked the house and garden of parents and neighbours garden.
Other Sibling caused damage to the house when left for a weekend.
So depends on dc.
Of my 3dc eldest wasn't ready to be left at 16, left him overnight from aged 18 and i think he was still anxious. Dc2 and 3 are 14 and I suspect both would be ready to be left at 16.

I mean I look at my oldest not 16 yet and think oh no he would just live off pot noodles and forget to feed the cats barely leave his room.

Then I think I had a house, fiancé and baby at 17 personally. Maybe we coddle too much who knows. But yeah I doubt I’d be leaving my 16 year old when he is for more than a night or two 😅

Were you sweeping chimneys aged 5 by any chance?

Are you still wiping your 16 year olds bum by any chance @Layinwait

I find it hard to believe a 16 year old isn't capable of doing any of the things you listed

Didn’t think children went up chimneys still only 26 years ago 😂 in my case.

I think it depends on the child, I was left for a week when I was 15 but I’d pretty much done most things for myself from about 13 so it didn’t bother me at all.
My oldest is 13 now and not sure he’d be ready in a few years to be left alone for a week but then that’s because I do everything for him.

My parents left me alone for a week when I was 15 as I flatly refused to go with them & DB aged 3.
Nothing untoward happened. I knew how to lock the front door, use the cooker etc.

We are in UK. He started working full time as soon as he left school.
It turns into an apprenticeship at some point but he's absolutely full time.