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Original poster

My partner's uninvited guest has turned up 5 hours early...

581 replies

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 14:03

My partner is involved in organising an event tomorrow and was cornered into offering a bed tonight for a person who's coming fro a distance. He doesn't know this guy. There have been a number of increasingly infuriating phone calls about arrival times etc. This bloke seems chaotic and doesn't seem to be able to manage directions. I've been really, really busy for the last week and a guest was the last thing I needed. I insisted that this man doesn't arrive before my partner is home from work at 7pm, by which time I will (probably) have finished what I need to do and be in a fit state to host.

The guy has just phoned to say he's a few minutes from our home. He phoned my partner and my partner told him he can come straight here. I'm right in the middle of my work, I haven't had a shower this morning and the breakfast things are still all over the kitchen. I'm so angry with my partner. He's always doing things like this. This guy is going to arrive shortly, he's told me he hasn't had any lunch so presumably will expect me to make him a sandwich. Who the hell turns up five hours early? So bloody rude and entitled.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 31/08/2023 19:54

The rude, uninvited guest is actually at fault here, too!

He is rude. He's not uninvited though (thanks to DP actually, you know, inviting him!)

It's all unreasonable but the person who should have had the balls to say no is DP, who should not have put expectations on OP is DP, and who should have made it fully clear guest couldn't come early is again, DP.

Teentaxidriver · 31/08/2023 19:55

I think the rudeness of your guest is breathtaking. Who the fuck shows up five hours early because it is convenient for him (typical male entitlement) and then expects their host to make them lunch. What a dick. Your partner isn't much better tbf, although, it sounds as though he was cornered and the guest hasn't been easy to manage.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 31/08/2023 19:57

EarringsandLipstick · 31/08/2023 19:54

The rude, uninvited guest is actually at fault here, too!

He is rude. He's not uninvited though (thanks to DP actually, you know, inviting him!)

It's all unreasonable but the person who should have had the balls to say no is DP, who should not have put expectations on OP is DP, and who should have made it fully clear guest couldn't come early is again, DP.

It’s in the first para of the OP - he was ‘cornered into inviting’.

The rude uninvited guest is also to blame.

MummyJ36 · 31/08/2023 20:02

Lol the balls on someone to ask what there is for lunch when they’ve arrived 5 hours early 🤣

FKATondelayo · 31/08/2023 20:02

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 16:38

Please stop it with the put you at risk to the extent he literally invites a random man off the street in to your house nonsense.

This man is someone who is connected via colleagues of my partner's (he's not my boyfriend, we're not teenagers). He's not 'some random man off the street.' He's going to be running one element of a training event tomorrow.

Most women who are killed in their own homes are killed by people they know. This kind of scaremongering is really dangerous and can lead to women leading fearful lives, scared of venturing out.

What a weird response. We're not the one hiding out in our own home because an aggressive, entitled man has decided it's his place now.

Toomanylaughs · 31/08/2023 20:05

Nonplusultra · 31/08/2023 16:22

I have an automatic distrust of boundary pushing men. No way he would be in my home with me alone.
Just don’t answer the door. Or answer the phone.

If you absolutely need to explain, say you work with headphones on and didn’t hear the bell.

This.

The guy is pushing boundaries for sure, first with your partner and now with you .

I don’t drive so I take public transport and sometimes arrive ridiculously early to somewhere due to the timing of trains, flights etc. If so, I have a coffee and wait until closer to the time before contacting someone. As I understand it this person came with a car so they could’ve even waited in their car for a while, and the fact they were driving means they more or less contrived the situation, it’s not like there was only an early train they could get on for example

Your partner is bang out of order too and is the one you should mainly be annoyed at for opening you up to this - is he a doormat or does he just have no respect or concern for you or a bit of all of those things?

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 31/08/2023 20:09

I would not have a strange man in my house that I do not know unless my adult son here. I would ring partner and tell him to contact man immediately and tell him to meet him or tell him to go to a pub or cafe and he will meet him when he is finished work. Finish your work and get yourself sorted and try not to stress yourself as not fair for ou to be put in that position at all. If this is a grown man surely to god he can entertain himself for a bit instead of arriving hours earlier. I would not answer the door and would tell partner to contact him as you are working and need a shower and do not want to do that when he is there. You are doing this person a favour so he should respect your boundaries.

IamnotSethRogan · 31/08/2023 20:15

While I can understand why you're annoyed at your partner, it sound like he was put in an awkward situation, and maybe didn't handle it in the best way but it's often tricky to fave such Cheeky fuckery.

The absolute fucking cheek to arrive 5 hours early, ignore your requests to leave while you're working and then demand something to eat.

Clymene · 31/08/2023 20:18

EarringsandLipstick · 31/08/2023 19:52

@Clymene

Oh I agree. It's mental that the man thought any part of this was ok (staying with a stranger, coming early, interrupting OP).

But the fault lies squarely with OP's DP who has been massively disrespectful.

Yes, I agree.

Phew!

Olika · 31/08/2023 20:21

I hope you are having a fab evening with your friend. Enjoy!

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 31/08/2023 20:22

Just read update that he asked you for food, why did he not stop somewhere and get himself something to eat. He should be bringing something for you for staying there. I am shocked as I would never do that and would have ate before arriving or treated the people am staying with to a takeaway or something. How difficult is it to stop for a meal, a sandwich etc. Unreal that your partner said it is ok for him to arrive but I would not have answered the door at all and he could rest in his bloodywell car and would have said had headset on with work calls. Enjoy your evening and try to relax and tell your partner that is never to happen again and if a guest arrives you do not know he has to be there or tell a stranger to stay in a b&b or hotel. The cheek of some people and him asking for food makes my blood boil.

Greenpolkadot · 31/08/2023 20:26

I'm wondering what happened when OP's partner arrived home

weirdoboelady · 31/08/2023 20:35

Greenpolkadot · 31/08/2023 20:26

I'm wondering what happened when OP's partner arrived home

you are not the only one. Hoping OP is now out on the town and outside a good few drinks and mid-excellent meal.

Jesseweneedtocook · 31/08/2023 20:38

Your partner is a total pushover for a)allowing a stranger to stay in his home overnight??! B) for saying he can arrive five hours early. The other guy is just a jerk. There's no way I'd have agreed to this random man staying overnight in my home.and I wouldn't have let him in. Presumably he was made aware he wasn't to arrive till after 7?

CrazyArmadilloLady · 31/08/2023 20:43

Presumably he was made aware he wasn't to arrive till after 7?

Well, no, he wouldn’t have been.

I can cast-iron guarantee the OP’s feckless partner never actually told him he couldn’t arrive until after 7pm.

ohsuzannah · 31/08/2023 21:06

Did you go out, OP?

weirdoboelady · 31/08/2023 21:16

More to the point, did DP arrive home at 7pm? I wouldn't put it past him to be horribly late, given incidents to date!

Globules · 31/08/2023 21:16

I hope you've had a lovely evening out @Cynicaltheorist . How is/has your partner making/made amends? How did he react when you told him you were out tonight?

QueenBitch666 · 31/08/2023 21:28

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 16:38

Please stop it with the put you at risk to the extent he literally invites a random man off the street in to your house nonsense.

This man is someone who is connected via colleagues of my partner's (he's not my boyfriend, we're not teenagers). He's not 'some random man off the street.' He's going to be running one element of a training event tomorrow.

Most women who are killed in their own homes are killed by people they know. This kind of scaremongering is really dangerous and can lead to women leading fearful lives, scared of venturing out.

That's my sympathy gone. Jeeeeze 🙄

MixedRaceMuslim · 31/08/2023 21:31

I think your partner owes you a massive treat after this, make him pay!! Lol

Your guest was extremely rude and I think you were very accommodating.

I hope you have a lovely time with your friend.

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/08/2023 21:32

You’re busy clearing up the meal you made them aren’t you…

IncompleteSenten · 31/08/2023 21:33

I'd be bloody fuming at the cheeky git actually expecting you to stop everything to feed him!

Bleuuuughhh · 31/08/2023 21:40

Who do think who has killed who by now?

MinnieTruck · 31/08/2023 21:47

People are so dramatic on here my God😂

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