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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner's uninvited guest has turned up 5 hours early...

581 replies

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 14:03

My partner is involved in organising an event tomorrow and was cornered into offering a bed tonight for a person who's coming fro a distance. He doesn't know this guy. There have been a number of increasingly infuriating phone calls about arrival times etc. This bloke seems chaotic and doesn't seem to be able to manage directions. I've been really, really busy for the last week and a guest was the last thing I needed. I insisted that this man doesn't arrive before my partner is home from work at 7pm, by which time I will (probably) have finished what I need to do and be in a fit state to host.

The guy has just phoned to say he's a few minutes from our home. He phoned my partner and my partner told him he can come straight here. I'm right in the middle of my work, I haven't had a shower this morning and the breakfast things are still all over the kitchen. I'm so angry with my partner. He's always doing things like this. This guy is going to arrive shortly, he's told me he hasn't had any lunch so presumably will expect me to make him a sandwich. Who the hell turns up five hours early? So bloody rude and entitled.

OP posts:
SnapBang · 31/08/2023 14:05

Don’t answer the door? Pretend you’re out. Tel DH you’ve gone out for a bit.

babbscrabbs · 31/08/2023 14:06

Let him drop bags then point him to nearest cafe?

HanSB · 31/08/2023 14:06

Call the guy and tell him you are busy with work and unprepared for him showing up 5 hours early. He can go and have lunch and occupy himself until 7pm.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 31/08/2023 14:07

Take it up with your partner who told the man he could stay, and told him the time wasn't a problem.

Therealjudgejudy · 31/08/2023 14:07

Wow, who does this?

FullFatPhil · 31/08/2023 14:07

"Who the hell turns up five hours early? So bloody rude and entitled."

Someone who was told that it was ok. It's your boyfriend that needs telling.

ElleLeopine · 31/08/2023 14:08

Show him in, and show him the kitchen. Explain that you are still working, and that your partner will be home at x o'clock.
Then carry on.

Onyerbikethen · 31/08/2023 14:08

Definitely don't answer the door.

Message your partner and tell him what you've put here, it's not a matter for you and if your partner wants to deal with the guy, he needs to come home.

Thebigblueballoon · 31/08/2023 14:09

I’d briefly greet him, tell him to drop his bags in the bedroom and say you have to get back to work. Tell him there’s X cafe around the corner. I’d be seething.

RaceToTheMiddle · 31/08/2023 14:09

All of the above. Especially as you don’t even know him??!! This is so weird.

I bet you wish you didn’t get cornered about this.

Bluevelvetsofa · 31/08/2023 14:10

If you were working in an office, he’d have to wait until you got home. Let him drop off his bag, tell him where he can find a food outlet and send him on his way, until office hours are over.

Princessfluffy · 31/08/2023 14:10

Tell your partner either he comes home and entertains this guy right now or else your partner rings him to say he cannot turn up before 7pm as arranged

CherieBabySpliffUp · 31/08/2023 14:11

Your partner is the one who is hosting so he has to deal with it. I wouldn't be answering the door.

PragmaticWench · 31/08/2023 14:11

I couldn't carry on working with an unknown man in my house, just really unsettling. That's aside from the house being a mess.

Direct him to a local cafe or pub until 7pm.

MinnieTruck · 31/08/2023 14:11

What sort of person turns up FIVE hours early when they know the person let alone when they don’t know them?! Why did your partner even say yes, I’d be so pissed off.

It seems like you can’t exactly back out of it now as your partner has already told him that it’s fine to come so early. I’d show him the living room/kitchen and where he’s sleeping and leave him to it. You’re working, you don’t need to be in host mode

StillOrSparklingMadam · 31/08/2023 14:11

Why on earth has your partner told an unknown man that it’s fine for him to go to your house while you are there alone? That’s the most immediate problem. You know nothing about the guy.

GabriellaMontez · 31/08/2023 14:12

Are you letting this stranger into your house? Despite insisting he didn't arrive until 7?

How did this become acceptable to you?

More fool you.

Frogger8395 · 31/08/2023 14:12

Your partner is a gullible fool to have a stranger stay in your home.

LyricalGangsta · 31/08/2023 14:13

It's a no from me.
No way would I have a random in my house, especially alone

Thewizardbinbag · 31/08/2023 14:13

The guy called and asked, your partner told him he could come right over. Your issue is your partner. You’ll have to call him and tell him to sort it out with the guy if you’re not ready for company.

MarshyMcMarshFace · 31/08/2023 14:13

Surely your DH can make him a sandwich??

Just go about your business normally (maybe not skip from shower to bedroom naked ) , tell your DH to make the bloke a sandwich and then take him out if the house.

StillOrSparklingMadam · 31/08/2023 14:13

Frogger8395 · 31/08/2023 14:12

Your partner is a gullible fool to have a stranger stay in your home.

Yep and this guy is seeing how far he can push the boundaries. As far as he wants, apparently! This is potentially very dangerous.

Don’t let “manners” put you at risk. Be “rude”. It’s ok to do that.

RaceToTheMiddle · 31/08/2023 14:13

I can’t believe things like this happen in real life. I would never have said yes in the first place

LyricalGangsta · 31/08/2023 14:14

I missed the bit where the partner said it would ok.
Christ on a bike.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/08/2023 14:15

Tell the guy to fuck off and dump your partner.

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