Is teaching children to use cutlery no longer a thing?

[Pixieb34]

Genuine question…
Do parents of younger children teach them to use a knife and fork nowadays?
I’m a parent of older teens and I did, along with general table manners like eating with your mouth closed and waiting for others to start/finish.
Am I being old fashioned to think being able to eat food with a knife and fork is a basic skill, or is eating with fingers or just a fork or spoon what’s done nowadays?

My children know how to eat with cutlery and how to eat with their hand as per usual south Asian etiquette as they both white British and south Asian heritage

I suspect some people just are lucky that their DC just get how to use cutlery without much cajoling and get how to use a potty without much effort

I suspect from this thread it's not so easy for other DC to get the hang of things as easily

I suspect everyone is doing their best but actually so long as your DC is loved and feels happy and safe then that's all good

@PinkTonic Didn’t you ever roast a chicken? What about chips, roast potatoes? I saw my 8 year old great niece stab a roast potato with a fork last week and bite it, burning her lip in the process. Even though my children had their fair share of curries with rice, pasta dishes, tacos and burgers etc. they’d have been sent from the table for stabbing a roaster or a large chip or a piece of broccoli with a fork and biting it. It’s not just about style of food, it’s basic table manners

whats so hard? Yes, I cooked, many, many chickens. When cooked I removed the meat in order to use in stir fries, added to a quick base curry if in hurry or as lunch meat on sandwiches etc. There was never big slabs of bird for the kids to cut the meat. I never roasted potato, because typically that’s a side for a big slab of meat. I happily eat them when I go out though. Kids only faced chips when they went out. Broccoli, yep lots and lots of this - in bite size pieces in stir-fry. Again, broccoli as you describe it would only be done as a side to a slab of meat. My kids have never had this at home and even as adults, given the choice don’t want it. So, they are only confronted with it rarely if in a restaurant where this is pretty much what the menu consists of. So then, they make a bit of a hash if it. So would you if you had only had to use a knife once a year on average from teens!

Just to stop the next round. Yes I roast lamb. That goes to lunch meat also, and some frozen for emergency ‘fast food’ curry. Yep, pork, but lunch meat, shredded pork warmed with apple sauce on crunchy bread rolls etc. No, nothing goes to waste, I make stock from the bones but used in nothing that requires a knife for end product.

Children are typically ready around 30 months some sooner some later.

I know that we oldies were totally uninfiormed and should bow down to the superiority of modern mothers but I fail to understand why the vast majority of children were out of nappies by 2 and, shock horror, haven't suffered because of it! Sooner or later there will be a realisation that Pampers etc have created a marvellous money making scheme to keep their ever expanding range of products profitable.

Exactly this.

@user123212 My son is desperate to learn after watching us. I need to find a toddler set 🤔

I have worked in a primary school at lunchtimes.

Some of the children would have been better off with a trough!! Many did just use a fork.

It was quite depressing and don't get me started in the ones who couldn't bloody sit down properly and spent half the time spinning around in the seat.

I am not from the UK. Where I am from, children typically have food cut up for them and they use a fork/spoon. Adults don't always use a knife throughout the meal either. My son is 3 and uses a fork and spoon at mealtimes. I will teach him to use a knife to eat when he is older - I don't see why it is necessary at the moment.

@HoppingPavlova what I think would be hard is navigating social situations when you haven’t been taught basic life skills and your mother has essentially been cutting your food up for you into your teens. But it’s a free country.

I'm flabbergasted people are intentionally cooking food that has no need for cutlery to be used together . Mind blowing , this never ever would have crossed my mind when choosing menus at home for the family .

You are aware that Pakistan exists right?

Obviously I'm not talking about Pakistan .🙄

You are aware that us Pakistanis are allowed to leave Pakistan?

Ugh I cannot bear passive aggressive judgemental posts dressed up as curiosity.

Yes people teach children to use cutlery. However not everyone sees eating chips or pizza with your hands as an unacceptable low point. Many cultures use no cutlery whatsoever.

Your be never considered having toasties, nachos, pizza, tacos, wraps, bacon/sausage sandwiches, sausage rolls, sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers etc for any meals ever...?

Not sure if that’s sarcastic or not but in the event it isn’t - I have an Indian friend who cooks amazing food for me. No cutlery. It felt weird for me at first but essentially you use other food as cutlery.

I agree with this

Mine are 6 and 10 and we’re both out of nappies at 2 <smug> but they don’t eat pizza with a knife and fork so it’s all gone to shit really 🤣

Picking up on the conversation about manners…I grew up in the 80’s & 90’s around the time fad diets were starting to take over the world. All my friends’ (skinny) mums were on them. My not-skinny mum was never on them, never spoke about her weight but or made issues at the dinner table. If we didn’t finish a meal that was fine - whereas going to a friend’s house, we were often forced to finish (a truly horrible thing to do to a bursting full child with a small appetite). Knowing all the friends who went on to have eating disorders, they all had overbearing parents when it came to food and bonkers rules around food. I’ve never had any food issues.

My Aunty worked as a nurse for an eating disorder clinic and has always said you have to be SO careful not to give children complexes over food because it can take very little to trigger long-term food issues that can turn into eating disorders. No making a massive deal about eating everything, no silly rules that only serve to make children feel stupid, no creating a narrative that certain food is naughty, unacceptable, disgusting etc.

So I think those patting themselves on the back that they send the children away from the table for <check notes> putting a fork into a potato (😵‍💫) may boast of how their kids have mAnNErs, i don’t think they should consider themselves winning at creating healthy relationships between their children and food.

Here we go. Another kids and parents are all lazy and crap thread. Why are so many people so fucking hostile to kids and their parents?

We had fajitas for dinner tonight.

A lot of spoons were used but no other cutlery.

My kids know how to use cutlery but at the same time I don’t “care” about cutlery use as a point of etiquette. So am I bothered if they don’t use it for their snack lunch? No. Would I expect them to use cutlery at a wedding breakfast? Yes.

Surprised anyone is keeping notes, but if you are referring to the hot potato incident I mentioned, most ‘manners’ have good reasons. The child was 8, stabbing and biting a whole potato is not only ill mannered, she burnt her mouth. Then she dropped the fork and food with a clatter and splashed gravy across the table. If you think that’s ok, fine. I don’t. My children all have an excellent relationship with food, they’re all great cooks and have been capable of making a simple meal since late primary age, which is another very good reason for acquiring knife skills.

I can use cutlery within the 'acceptable' parameters dictated to us by societal expectations, but...I eat with a fork, as this is my preference.

Were I to go out for dinner, I'd use a knife and fork.

Like me, my 5 year old twins eat with a fork. I have never eaten 'out' with, as finances don't allow for such, BUT I have no issue with what instruments of torture they choose to aid them in enjoying thrice daily repasts.

Tonight I had pasta which I ate with a fork. As regards children starting school I'm not concerned too much about the nineties of manners but I am very worried about the 4 year olds who opened their mouths and expected someone to spoon the food in.
It was not an ethnically diverse school, they weren't culturally used to earing with their hands.

My son is 9 and was taught to use cutlery from an early age. We always eat our evening meal together, at the table as well. He has been taught good table manners.

We were in a hotel in Austria a few weeks ago and he was excellent in the restaurant. That said, so were all the other kids I observed. One or two very little ones (under 3) may have used a spoon/fingers for an odd thing.

So, I think most children are taught to use cutlery.

I do wonder if baby led weaning has had an impact on cutlery use though? I never did it with my son, so he used a spoon from an early age.