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Original poster

Sister's bf losing it whilst watching University Challenge

157 replies

bilfer · 31/08/2023 09:37

Sister's boyfriend came over last week for a takeaway and a few beers.

After the meal we decided to crash on the sofa and watch tv. During University Challenge my sis and I were joking around at the questions/the ridiculous answers we came up with. All light hearted, we were just trying to make each other laugh really. Very much the norm for our family. Well, Sister's boyfriend leans into her multiple times genuinely angry and chastising her for talking over questions preventing him from answering (before passively aggressively rewinding). When I say it injected an awful energy into the room I am not being hyperbolic. He genuinely snapped and I was appalled but did not say anything.

Completely took me back to my childhood where my dad, who also has EXTREME anger issues, would explode out of nowhere. The sitting in awkward silence thing, makes me queasy.

I've begun to notice a pattern of behaviour which really concerns me. Always thought he was a bit boring but harmless.

I've also seen WhatsApp notifications to the effect of "PICK UP YOU FUCKING BITCH". I know now he was in a fairly serious situation but nothing my sister could directly help with as she was hundreds of miles away.

What can I do? She works in the City, is charming and lovely. Late 20s. So scared for her.

OP posts:
Lonicerax · 02/09/2023 05:16

What are his good points - perhaps she saw DF as strong willed, for example, rather than abusive. And admires this in her BF.
People ime often marry their DP - but don’t see the similarities until many years in.
Are there other flaws you can mention rather than comparing to DF which she doesn’t seem to see.

LlynTegid · 02/09/2023 07:03

I agree with the suggestion of a Claire's Law request, and a conversation with her to raise your concerns.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 02/09/2023 07:17

watcherintherye · 31/08/2023 10:38

He was a guest. Guests have to put up with watching Mrs. Brown’s Boys, if the host is a fan. The guest does not demand the host change channels so they can watch something more to their liking.

Now I quite like UC, but even if it is the absolute highlight of his life (unlikely, surely?) a mild ‘I quite like this, do you mind if I watch?’ is the most he should have been saying in someone else’s house. Watch it on IPlayer or ask to record it, if you’re that desperate.

I reckon he felt you and your sister were depriving him of the opportunity to impress you both with his vast knowledge and mighty intellect, and the fact that he reacted so badly to it, tells you a lot about him, and his sense of self-importance.

I agree with all of this. His reaction was disproportionate so I can see why you are worried about your sister. The WhatsApp message is very concerning.

I think all you can do is continue to see her and be there for her. A horrible situation for you to be in, OP 🙁

Copperoliverbear · 02/09/2023 07:29

I'd have said to him, you ever talk to my sister like that again, I will make sure you can't talk to anyone else like it ever, understand me.
I would also tell her outright to leave him over the texts too.
He's trying to be Billy big bollocks because he's an inconsequential little twat.

Oxborn · 02/09/2023 07:33

ActDottie · 31/08/2023 10:08

I kinda get where he’s coming from. People talking over tv programmes it just annoying. And if you’re good at university challenge then you want to give the questions a good go.

Making all the funny comments etc. as well just shows your ignorance about true academic subjects.

Really

SnozPoz · 02/09/2023 13:36

Your sister needs some therapy about being attracted to men like your father. It's very common being attracted to what you're used to, even if it's negative behaviour. Familiarity. You need to try to have that conversation with her. Maybe by saying you want to do it too?

CameltoeParkerBowles · 03/09/2023 16:11

watcherintherye · 31/08/2023 10:38

He was a guest. Guests have to put up with watching Mrs. Brown’s Boys, if the host is a fan. The guest does not demand the host change channels so they can watch something more to their liking.

Now I quite like UC, but even if it is the absolute highlight of his life (unlikely, surely?) a mild ‘I quite like this, do you mind if I watch?’ is the most he should have been saying in someone else’s house. Watch it on IPlayer or ask to record it, if you’re that desperate.

I reckon he felt you and your sister were depriving him of the opportunity to impress you both with his vast knowledge and mighty intellect, and the fact that he reacted so badly to it, tells you a lot about him, and his sense of self-importance.

Well put!

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