Reborn dolls in the pram bay

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A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram.

I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair?

I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding.

I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

I guess one of the issues is that, on a bus, a newborn in a pram will obviously take priority over an older baby or a toddler in a buggy that can be more easily lifted out and/or their pram folded.

And the reborn dolls stay newborn size, so if you ask someone to take their baby out of the pram, the conversation about whether that baby is real is inevitably going to come up unless the bereaved mother is sufficiently aware of reality to pick up the doll and not refuse the request.

There's a woman on our local baby item giveaway page always trying to claim all kinds of stuff for her dolls. She's obviously disabled and fair play if she enjoys the dolls, it's not hurting anyone. But I don't think it's right to take real items and clothing from people who are trying to recycle and help out other parents of actual humans. It's not the point of the page.

Similar situation on the bus. It's fine to have this hobby but somebody in the lives of these vulnerable adults should be helping them understand where the line is.

Don't be ridiculous.

Wheelchair space is for mobility issues, I would assume these women have LD or MH disabilities, neither of which take priority for wheelchair space.

@Themosswidow , it was a lot easier to fold pushchairs/buggies a few decades ago, when they were mostly fairly simple Maclaren-type, easily folded ones, not those enormous things now that cost hundreds of £££.

They may think that but no, a doll isn’t as precious to anyone as our babies are to us. Sorry, I know we should ‘be kind’ but not at the cost of making absurd statements like that

Everyone should watch Servant on Apple TV. A woman loses her baby (triggering, I won’t go into it) and has a doll which she thinks/treats as a real baby. It’s an altogether disturbing programme.

I have no experience of this, I never knew it was such a thing, I thought reborn dolls were a collectors thing.

Given the amount of men wandering around pretending to be women and demanding the rights of women's spaces and expecting validation, then this sounds like the same sort of thing.

We should be treating the problem not enabling it.

I don't know, if I had to choose I would rather hold a placid new born on the bus than a tantruming toddler who is securely strapped into a buggy and is a regular flight risk.

I think that if somebody is in possession of a reborn doll, it's an obvious indicator that they do have an invisible disability and would therefore have an entitlement to use the wheelchair space over and above somebody with a kid in a buggy, inconvenient though that is.

1. what kind of invisible disability does it indicate?
2. why does this supposed invisible disability ‘entitle’ them to use a pram space more than a woman with an actual baby?

Surely this doesn’t happen often enough for it to be a massive issue. My gut feeling would be that these women have mental health issues, perhaps as a result of loss of a child, and it is better to be kind to them.

No, it isn’t. The space is primarily for disabled people in wheelchairs and secondly for prams with, you know, actual babies and toddlers in. This ‘everyone’s needs are equal’ thing is a nonsense.

Where does the pandering stop? If some woman with a doll in a pram decided not to move for a wheelchair user? Not an impossible scenario, a lot of people don't move, and drivers saying anything is hit and miss. I'd be so pissed off.

I've never actually seen this, though there's a fair few posters on here who have.

Agree, I have a travel buggy for this very reason it wasn't expensive just over £100 I can carry it one handed and put it up and down with one hand too. I have collapsed it on the bus, only a few times but in those moments I was so glad to have that particular pushchair.
I think if you are regularly getting public transport you need to take that into consideration when choosing your pram - its harder with newborns who need to lie flat though.

It may not happen often but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an issue for the mums with buggies actually in that situation. And no I don’t think we should ‘be kind’ by allowing dolls spaces meant for the disabled and babies.

Very sensible and compassionate answer.

You have no idea what has happened to these women in the past.

@MinnieTruck the woman with the dog in a pram (one of those older style prams/silverchair) did get off eventually but huffing and puffing about it. I was squished at the front, after one of my few days in the office, and im sure people must have thought i was a mad ranting lady but someone had to tell her that disabled wheelchair users take precedence to buggies as well as dogs in prams!!! I did say it nicely thinking it was a lady with a baby, but then i looked in the pram and realised it was a dog!

There is being compassionate and then there is leaving a mother waiting in the rain with a baby because a doll in the space.

Sometimes common sense takes precedence over compassion.

So wonderful to see this level of empathy. Xx

@TerfTalking absolutely this.

The buses local to me have it clearly marked as a space for wheelchair users, making it clear it should be vacated for a wheelchair users.

it says nothing about any hierarchy for use by other bus users.

like this

The ladies with the “babies” quite possibly have invisible disabilities. Having a living baby is not a disability.

Now what? A place at nursery? An aeroplane seat? Would you put a limit on when a doll should be treated as a person at the expense of real people, or not at all because empathy? Of course the women need help, I’m sympathetic to what is probably a very sad story. But I don’t believe indulging it is the answer

@Mumof2teens79

As others have said, I'd just say would you mind picking yours up because I can't hold mine at the minute. Not ask questions like "how old is yours?" Mine has got a hospital appointment later" which is just going to highlight the difference

I’ve not read anything nasty. I have read women not buying into the craziness that is reborn dolls though.