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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reborn dolls in the pram bay

680 replies

gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 07:34

A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram.

I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair?

I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding.

I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:43

Yes but what is your view on baby safety? Who do you think should have had the space, the baby or the doll?

Just because you treat the Doll Ladies with compassion or decency doesn't mean you think the baby shouldn't have first call on the space.

This polarised black/white thinking is so devise.

Both things came happen.

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:43

*Do you also think that wheelchair users should concede that space to a doll?

Or is it just women with babies who need to #bekind?*

God alive.

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:44

What a hostile world you inhabit.

Superfood · 31/08/2023 13:45

girlswillbegirls · 31/08/2023 13:29

I see this like a simple thing.

You have to be as mad as a brush to belive a doll is a baby. And put them in a pram and look after them in your private and public life.
I think we all agree with that.

Is it that difficult not to expose this person and let them be? What is the chance you will encounter this in public transport? Either for role play or trauma post stillbirth it's very very sad to think this is the life for an adult.
This thread makes me sad. There is very little compassion in the world.

(Ps. I have 3 children myself that once were babies. I think having children open my eyes in many ways).

There's a British woman on tiktok who buys specialist (soy) formula for her reborn dolls even though there's a global shortage.

She says that for every 'like' she gets, she'll throw a spoonful of it in the bin, on camera.

Some people aren't doing this because they're mentally ill. They just have huge main character syndrome and don't give a shit about anyone else.

They may even deliberately enjoy upsetting mums with babies.

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 13:45

Diffrent · 31/08/2023 08:28

Mental illness/disability aside, why in the ever loving fuck would anyone think a doll has precedence over an actual human baby? Come on, people.

I agree wholeheartedly. This is where 'Be Kind' gets you.

I have a friend with a severe recurring MH issue who says regularly that just because you've got a MH or neurological issue, it doesn't mean you can behave like an a**ehole. Of course real people and children matter more than dolls and of course the actual needs of real people matter more than the feelings of those with dolls.

Superfood · 31/08/2023 13:47

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:43

*Do you also think that wheelchair users should concede that space to a doll?

Or is it just women with babies who need to #bekind?*

God alive.

Is it a difficult question?

NHSarah · 31/08/2023 13:50

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 31/08/2023 13:39

I think all women deserve compassion.

Yes but what is your view on baby safety? Who do you think should have had the space, the baby or the doll?

Rule of thumb, if you think an environment is unsafe, make it safe or avoid it.

In this case, there is an option to make it safe. Ask the two ladies if they can make space for your pram now the bus is busy. For all you know, they might be happy to do so. They might not have noticed your need. Public transport can make us zombies.

If they refuse to make room, then this is the time to raise this as an issue.

Brexile · 31/08/2023 13:51

Superfood · 31/08/2023 13:47

Is it a difficult question?

Show quote history

It is if someone is being intentionally dense.

drearydear · 31/08/2023 13:52

I don't use the bus, possibly twice in the last five years, but it sounds like an unusual situation. @gezelligheid

If you're certain they're dolls you should ask one of them to fold their pram. If they refused you could then appeal to the bus driver and ask if the doll prams could be moved to accommodate your baby.

doroda · 31/08/2023 13:52

NHSarah · 31/08/2023 13:35

I think all women deserve compassion.

Show quote history

Yes, they do.

But come on, there's one space available on the bus. Who should take priority? Mother with real baby, or person with doll or who may or may not be a grieving mother?

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:52

Is it a difficult question?

Sigh

You clearly haven't read the the thread.

I think the doll should NOT come before wheelchairs users or babies in pushchairs.
Does anybody?

But that doesn't stop treating the Doll Ladies with decency and civility.

Is that a tricky idea?

@Sugargliderwombat had a good solution but that would involve reading TFT

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:54

*Superfood
Is it a difficult question?

It is if someone is being intentionally dense.*

Or barrelling in like a bull at a gate.

Motherland2624 · 31/08/2023 13:54

I would just move it myself and throw the doll to its owner

Brexile · 31/08/2023 13:57

Motherland2624 · 31/08/2023 13:54

I would just move it myself and throw the doll to its owner

A nicely aimed drop kick should work.

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:57

But come on, there's one space available on the bus. Who should take priority? Mother with real baby, or person with doll or who may or may not be a grieving mother?

OP realises she should take priority.

She wanted to know if she was BU to approach the DollLadies and how to deal with situation.

You sound like you just want to minimise this situation to a simplistic black/white issue.

That actually most posters already seem to know the answer to.

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:58

A nicely aimed drop kick should work.

Excellent.

My previous point personified.

And yeah right , all talk. 😆👍🏻

doroda · 31/08/2023 13:59

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:57

But come on, there's one space available on the bus. Who should take priority? Mother with real baby, or person with doll or who may or may not be a grieving mother?

OP realises she should take priority.

She wanted to know if she was BU to approach the DollLadies and how to deal with situation.

You sound like you just want to minimise this situation to a simplistic black/white issue.

That actually most posters already seem to know the answer to.

I wasn't asking the OP, I was asking NHSarah.

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:59

I would just move it myself and throw the doll to its owner

Hard👏🏼

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 14:01

I wasn't asking the OP, I was asking NHSarah.m

you've been gagging for a reaction from the off.

Honed in on someone who says " treat all women with compassion "

🙄🤦‍♀️

Jamtartforme · 31/08/2023 14:01

@sunglassesonthetable what if you ask doll lady very nicely if she can fold her pram and she says no, she needs the space?

Original poster
gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 14:03

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 13:57

But come on, there's one space available on the bus. Who should take priority? Mother with real baby, or person with doll or who may or may not be a grieving mother?

OP realises she should take priority.

She wanted to know if she was BU to approach the DollLadies and how to deal with situation.

You sound like you just want to minimise this situation to a simplistic black/white issue.

That actually most posters already seem to know the answer to.

This ^

I do understand that we should take priority over a doll but 1) I want to get home safely so don't want an altercation that could affect the safety of me and my baby 2) there are two of them and they travel together so that's 2 on me which again would compromise my safety if I were to ask and they were to react badly, and 3) I feel like the bus driver should be asking rather than the bus company to basically tell me to sort it out myself

In an ideal world they'd just not take up the pram bay, but they are on multiple occasions so that's the situation I'm in unfortunately

OP posts:
Codependantnomore · 31/08/2023 14:03

No, just no. People have lost their minds thinking this ok.

Can you please fold down your pram so I can out my child in the pram bay.

If they refuse I would ask again..... Please fold down your pram or I will helicopter your doll out the door and into the sock section in Primark. The choice is yours.

Original poster
gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 14:04

Also I know there's a wheelchair bay on buses but on arriva buses (which is who serve my local area) there is also a designated pram bay. I have mentioned this previously but just in case people haven't read the full thread

OP posts:
Motherland2624 · 31/08/2023 14:05

I think I must live in a rough area as this just would never happen in my area

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 14:05

what if you ask doll lady very nicely if she can fold her pram and she says no, she needs the space?

A distinct possibility, which is why OP probably posted.

She knows, rightly, that her baby in a pushchair takes priority.

I'd ask in the way wombat suggested. And 🤞🏼

After that I would be be more assertive. But no I wouldn't be aggressive or rude from the off. And I think I'm pretty average in that.

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