Reborn dolls in the pram bay

[gezelligheid]

A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram.

I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair?

I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding.

I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

Some comments have said or implied that women who take dolls out in prams must be suffering from bereavement, loss or trauma or have serious mental health issues, but I'm not sure we can assume that this holds true for all reborn owners. Articles and documentaries tend to pick up on those instances because, I suppose, they seem more newsworthy than simply being a collector would be.

Online doll collecting communities draw people into a collector culture, involving various activities with the dolls. From what I understand of the reborn community, these can include buying clothing and accessories including prams, and in some ways mimicking the things you might do with an actual baby, like "feeding" and taking the doll out in the pram. So not all people doing these things will necessarily be doing it because of grief or trauma, but of course some may. I've certainly come across people who had a variety of dolls that included reborns, who didn't seem to have any tragedy or condition involved, just a desire to collect.

Mind you some people believe that any adult collectors of dolls and toys must have extreme mental health issues but I guess that's another story!

I don't think it hurts to be polite and compassionate, but at the same time I don't think that dolls should take precedence over babies when it's a question of a formula shortage or priority space on buses. Still, I can't imagine the hobby is common enough that most people with babies will be inconvenienced by it. It's unfortunate for the OP that she has been.

I didn't hone in on anybody thanks. She quoted me initially.

I didn't hone in on anybody thanks. She quoted me initially.

I wonder why

I don't need to read every single post to know that throwing around words like 'compassion' and 'kindness'means absolutely nothing in the real life situation for which the op has asked advice.

The women preventing a mother (or father) from getting on a bus with their actual child are hardly great examples of either, are they?

Because that's what people do on MN?

You seem to be the one spoiling for an argument

I think I must live in a rough area as this just would never happen in my area

I've never seen it. By I might take a slightly closer look into prams in the future.

This is fucking infuriating to read. Ugh.

Yes, this. I just looked at the dolls on their website and now I feel all freaked out. I have major mental health issues and have suffered loss myself, but surely there are better ways to cope than this.

*I don't need to read every single post to know that throwing around words like 'compassion' and 'kindness'means absolutely nothing in the real life situation for which the op has asked advice.

The women preventing a mother (or father) from getting on a bus with their actual child are hardly great examples of either, are they?*

. And no I wouldn't bother reading 'every word'. But clearly you hadn't read very much.

And neither did I see posters throwing around those words as much as it suits your argument.

The Doll Ladies might or might not have vulnerabilities which made them totally self absorbed and not the least thoughtful to others. That's what OP was worrying about.

Also @sunglassesonthetable if you'd read even just the op's posts, you would see that these women have actively pushed in front of her to prevent her boarding the bus. With her actual baby. .

And that she feels frightened and tthreatened y the pair of them.

So I'd love to hear why you think that being 'compassionate' is going to make the tiniest bit of difference, or help her at all?

Please do explain how being 'compassionate' will help the op to actually, you know, get on the bus to go somewhere.

*ble if you'd read even just the op's posts, you would see that these women have actively pushed in front of her to prevent her boarding the bus. With her actual baby. .

And that she feels frightened and tthreatened y the pair of them.

So I'd love to hear why you think that being 'compassionate' is going to make the tiniest bit of difference, or help her at all?*

Yeah saw that one 👍🏻

They sound a total pita to be around.

I did say with " decency and civility " but I don't disagree that having compassion, I think it gives you a better coping strategy given they are behaving so strangely.

OP is on here. Ask her.

Please do explain how being 'compassionate' will help the op to actually, you know, get on the bus to go somewhere.

you know, totally reduce the discussion 😁

You did it before 👍🏻

It's not 'reducing the discussion' to attempt to actually answer the problem that the op came here with, rather than virtue signalling.

She doesn't need a 'coping strategy' or 'compassion'. She needs these selfish, bullying dickheads to stop pushing her and her baby off the bus.

And she came here to ask others, so why on earth are you telling us to ask her? She posted because she doesn't know what to do.

'Be more compassionate' really isn't an answer. At all.

" I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding."

Could you imagine the bud driver having to start asking people if their baby is real? 🤣🤣🤣

What in the name of God are reborn dolls and what on earth am I reading?
OP, you are more patient than me. I’ll tell them to move their prams.

Be more compassionate' really isn't an answer. At all.

And it wasn't my answer. But you probably don't know that. Because you know, reading the thread and all that.

mentioning " decency or civility or compassion " isn't just 'virtue signalling.' As much as you'd like to write it off with that trope.

And yeah she does need a coping strategy. She wants to get home. DollLady 'dickheads' aren't just going to disappear in a puff of smoke.

I don't think ANYONE has said the dolls should get precedence but you barrel on with that one.

Could you imagine the bud driver having to start asking people if their baby is real? 🤣🤣🤣

Could you verify that baby, madam?

Of course it's virtue signalling. It's textbook. You're demonstrating how much better and kinder and more compassionate and virtuous you are than everyone else, with empty meaningless words and no suggestions whatsoever for helpful, practical solutions.

That's exactly what virtue signalling is.

Still waiting for your explanation of how "being more compassionate" is going to help the op the next time she and her baby need to get somewhere, and are prevented from doing so by these bullies?

Not all mothers of real babies can wear their babies in a sling, as has been pointed out numerous times. Birth injuries, C-sections (emergency and planned) etc can render that impossible.
Regardless, when it comes to safety and nourishment, real babies come before dolls. Trauma or no, real living human beings do come first.

It's linked to on here, but be warned it's fucking infuriating to watch too.

https://cafemom.com/parenting/woman-posts-tiktok-feeding-her-reborn-dolls-formula-amid-shortage

Funnily enough, some people are begging her to show compassion too, for babies and mothers, but apparently it only works one way.

Of course it's virtue signalling. It's textbook. You're demonstrating how much better and kinder and more compassionate and virtuous you are than everyone else, with empty meaningless words and no suggestions whatsoever for helpful, practical solutions.

My suggestions were made hours ago. if you want proof go back and read them. 🙄

I don't need an explanation of virtue signalling cheers. I'm not paranoid about mentioning those words in the possibility that someone like you seizes upon them and issues that trope.

I'm pretty average when it comes to my behaviour.

That's exactly what virtue signalling is.

expert I'm sure 👍🏻

Still waiting for your explanation of how "being more compassionate" is going to help the op the next time she and her baby need to get somewhere, and are prevented from doing so by these bullies?

You'll be waiting all day. It's in the thread.

Funnily enough, some people are begging her to show compassion too, for babies and mothers, but apparently it only works one way.

Keeping twisting away.

Obviously 'they're' all the same. Do you think that about any other group of people ?

By 'group of people', you presumably mean selfish, cruel, intimidating bullies with money to burn who enjoy making parents and babies suffer?

Yeah, I do have a low opinion of all of them, as it happens.