Reborn dolls in the pram bay

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A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram.

I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair?

I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding.

I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

Wow, I had no idea maclaren had stopped making buggies. What a shame. It was indispensable for me as a mum of small children in London without a car.

I also had a similar lightweight mothercare one which I used for travelling abroad.

Those tank-like prams stuffed full of shopping bags with everything hanging off them are completely unsuited to public transport.

I think the point for the bus driver will be that they simply don't know which prams/buggies contain 'real' babies and which don't. And once I am on a bus I'm not really looking to see who else is trying to get on at the next stop. So driver or OP could ask "Is anyone able to fold your pram/buggy so another one can get on board?" but prams are often not foldable and buggies usually well-laden.

The doll-owners may not be being deliberately difficult. I have just realised, reading this thread, that I was probably on a bus with one recently. Several people admired the pram occupant and I thought maybe it was a dog. I think that lady would have liked the validation and been accommodating to another buggy (though don't think her pram would have folded up could have taken carrycot off wheels perhaps)

The first time there was another bus due that was going "kind of" near where I needed to be, so just had to get off and take a 10 minute walk so it wasn't a big deal and I felt awkward as I saw they were dolls and didn't want to say anything. This was when they pushed in front of me at the bus station (rude but as I say, another bus was coming and I didn't want confrontation as I felt awkward)

The second time I was actually at a bus stop close to my house and I had to wait 30 minutes for the next bus because they were already on the bus.

The third time is when I decided to inform the bus company and put a complaint in as its becoming a regular thing and I'm dreading getting the bus anywhere just in case now.

It wouldn't bother me so much if it was just one woman with a doll in a pram, but because there are two of them and they are always together it's just frustrating. If I were to say something I'd be going 2v1 and worry about an altercation as I just want to get home safely with my baby. Pretty disappointed with Arriva's response basically telling me to sort it myself tbh but I do get they can't check babies are real or fake, but still 😅 annoying

I’m so grateful that I drive because with 3 under 20 months old it would have been impossible to use public transport.

There are other, often quite sensitive, reasons besides SEN that someone might have a reborn. Bereavement, inability to conceive... and no, I don't have one myself, but I wouldn't judge someone for owning them. Reborn therapy is a thing.

I do, however, think they shouldn't be allowed to take up pram spaces real babies need.

Why thank you. I also get out of the way for people with real children in buggies, and help them where I can. Your reborn is as much of a real child as my rucksack is.

A person with a doll isn't a mother, and a doll isn't a baby. HTH.

My first instinct would be that they are probably a bereaved mother.

If they don't think to move their doll out of the way to accommodate a real baby, it seems like a pretty good indicator that they don't see themselves as playing with a doll and that their doll means something else to them that I'm not seeing.

They might not be a bereaved mother and might have other mental health stuff going on, but certainly my first instinct would be that they're most likely a recently bereaved mother.

Perhaps the statistics show that it's just an average hobby now, akin to collecting Sylvanian families or Star Wars memorabilia, but I've only really heard about them in the context of bereavement.

Given on the whole bus companies struggle to enforce Wheelchair users being able to access the wheelchair space which legally has to be provided I think people are being unrealistic about how they will respond for what isn’t a compulsory space

The world has gone absolutely stark raving bonkers. I actually don’t care who I offend, new born fake babies are weird. Had someone on my Facebook posting pictures of their fake baby in outfits etc and various random poses pretending like it’s a real baby. It’s too much, obviously i don’t have to look, which I don’t, I defriended. Each to their own, so long as. Or inconveniencing others, but fake babies do not, or the feelings of the owners fake babies, take president over real life mums and real babies. Bus companies cannot police though. I would just have a word direct with those ladies.

Indeed. I saw a documentary about these years ago ("My fake baby") and at least one of the women wasn't bereaved of a child - her grandson had moved to the other side of the world with his family (having seen the grandmother in action, it was no surprise, frankly) and she got one made to look like her (now much bigger and growing by the day) grandson looked when he was a baby.

I really don't feel that fake babies should get to occupy the space meant for people with physical disabilities or actual babies. It's a safety issue apart from anything else and fake babies don't need to be made safe.

Sorry but that's really weird and creepy and I don't get it. I would say loudly please can you move your pretend baby and make space for my real life baby? I'd probably get stabbed though. Surely they are too old for dollies? Why on earth?! I get it if they had special needs and needed a cuddly toy. But it just sounds like grownups playing mummies and daddies..maybe get a dog!? At least it's real and will love you back.

Maybe it's a collecting hobby for some people, but it perhaps you should consider the other possible reasons .

Some of them described on this thread.

People actually do this?! I’ve heard everything now. What an absolutely ridiculous thing to do. If I got on a bus with a pram to find the space was taken by someone with a toy doll I would definitely
not be the one folding a pram down to make room.

Your reborn is as much of a real child as my rucksack is.

I don't think reborn are real children.

This is ridiculous! Where I live the buses run every 20 mins and several times now I haven’t been allowed on because other mums have refused to fold down their ‘stroller’ type buggies with toddlers in them when asked to by the driver. I haven’t been able to fold my pram as I have an iCandy Peach which is quite heavy and we’re still using the bassinet as my baby is only 3 months old. So I’ve had to walk 45 minutes into town, often in the rain. I of course wouldn’t mind doing this if the toddlers in question were SEN but I fail to believe that every single one is. If I was able to I would definitely fold my buggy to help out another mum. If I found out that the babies weren’t even real it would make my blood boil!! As for people feeling entitled to buy the last tin of formula for their reborn baby 🤯 how selfish can you get

I flat out refused to take a pram or pushchair on the bus or train because it was too much stress and uncertainty. I didn’t drive, had three children, we took several buses a day some days so I would see the most ridiculous pram/pushchair related arguments, once one came to blows, and I just didn’t want to get involved with the whole argument, especially with all my DC in the mix. We usually sat at the back or upstairs because they love it upstairs. There is no reasonable way to take two young children, a baby and an unfolded pushchair on a bus because you can’t seat the children near the pushchair and so need to take the baby out anyway and then have to leave the pushchair at the front, it’s a logistical nightmare.

When I had my first DC no pushchairs were allowed on the bus unfolded and there were stairs to get on the bus, no wheelchair access.

We seem to have gone too far the other way now. I have never seen a doll but I might have been near one as I don’t look in the prams on my way past BUT one thing I do see now is dogs in pushchairs. Has anyone else seen the dog in a pushchair phenomenon? Weirds me out a little as I’m sure I wouldn’t want to use the bus with an unfolded pushchair with a baby in it if they have to sit next to a random dog at their level.

Is this true? I have seen many many things when travelling on the bus including a bunch of mums who berated another mum and the driver who was helping her to fold her buggy "call yourself a mum and you can't even fold a pram, now we are all going to be late to school and if a paeado's pinched my kid I'll sue" . Poor woman was Polish so it then degenerated into a racist rant about "coming over here..." . I've seen drunks climb aboard from the stop outside the local rowdy pub, pint pot in hand so they can carry on drinking, I have seen fights and people screaming abuse at the poor driver because he is turfing them off when they try it on with an out of date pass, but never ever have I seen anyone out and about travelling with a reborn

I agree with you, they should not take the place of a real baby. But as others have pointed out, they may have the huge Victorian style prams for them as from what I've seen of some in the 'reborn community' on Facebook pages etc, they seem very OTT with everything they buy for them and take with them so imo they should be the ones to get off the bus if they can't fold the pram/carry the doll. I suppose it's difficult for the drivers to police and check what/who is in the each pram.
Nothing will piss me off as much as them buying actual formula for them when there has been shortages though.

I was agreeing with you! That's what I'm "on about!" I'm not tech savvy and when I try to highlight parts of posts, it doesn't always work. I was attempting to reply to the post you referred to.
You don't need to tell me about the rights and regulations regarding wheelchairs users thanks, as i work with people with disabilities and wheelchair users on a daily basis.

I would absolutely love to get a reborn doll. I would like one of those half monkey ones and push it around Sainsbury's waiting for unsuspecting people to peer in.

Slightly struggling to believe this is real tbh

Oh, it's a "be kind" thing with you. But only towards people behaving highly inappropriately, never to the rest of the public who are inconvenienced by them.

At least with a high horse like yours, you'll never need to take the bus! 😂

Yeah...I tend not to give much time to controversial threads where the OP doesn't come back.

If adults want to push dolls around in giant unfoldable prams they can do what they like as long as it doesn't affect others.

If they want everyone to treat it as if it's a real baby they should use foldable stroller like normal people and fold it if someone with an actual baby or a person in a wheelchair needs the space on the bus.

I've replied multiple times?

Oh man...I'm so sorry. I was looking at a non-refreshed version of the thread.
I shall carry on read then.

I hope you find a solution.