Bad attitude after asking to use the loo in Costa? Pregnancy

[Mummatobe98]

I'm only about 12-13 weeks pregnant but need to wee a lot.

I went into a Costa store which I regularly buy coffee in and asked to use their loo. They declined . I said 'I'm pregnant' and the lady at the till reluctantly gave it to me, rolled her eyes and pulled a face at her colleague.

My partner felt like saying something

Am I wrong for asking to use the loo?

Exactly.

The entitlement is off the charts.

But paying customers are at least contributing towards the cost of the facilities, time and resources needed to clean the toilets which will have been factored in (along with the cost of staffing/bills/inventory etc) to their prices ... Non paying people off the street are not contributing to the upkeep of the facilities but are still expecting unfettered access to them.

Just because they are a business that is open to the public does not make their facilities public ones and if you ask a question about whether you can use them but not respecting their right to say no is the height of entitlement ... Why ask a question if you only want a specific answer? And don't we hear all the time on MN that "No is a complete sentence" - the business does not have to justify why they are saying no, because the OP is not a customer and they are well within their rights to answer the question truthfully that their policy is that toilets are only for customers.

Letting someone use the toilets without purchase costs businesses time and money, and whilst it may only be small amounts of time and money they soon add up if any Tom, Dick, Harry, Sarah, Jane and Sally just walk in and use their facilities without buying anything, especially if they have an attitude with their staff for daring to answer a "Can I..?" question with a perfectly valid answer of "no as you are not a customer"

Just out of interest, what are Costas losses from letting a none customer use the loo?
Genuinely, I’m not trying to be goady here I just can’t see what difference her using the toilet would have made to a large chain coffee shop. They’re not losing money by allowing her it’s use, unless you count the few pence worth of loo roll, soap and electricity to dry hands. Surely the goodwill of the shop is more likely to have someone return and purchase from them because they let them use their loo.

Probably not that huge on an individual basis, but the costs of cleaning, water, soap, paper, electricity, bin emptying and disposal etc. will all mount up eventually. Just like their combined profits mount up, even though every one person buying one cup of coffee doesn't spend all that much money.

If it happens often enough, they might also have bigger queues and then either have to instal more toilets to provide for the non-customers or have unhappy customers complain that they always have to wait a long time to use the toilets.

Paying customers are just as likely to abuse a toilet as non paying I should imagine. And toilets will need to be cleaned regardless.

Maybe - although it's a bit harder for them to be anonymous - but that's part of the deal, I suppose. Risking a non-customer leaving the bog minging brings no financial gain to them, only risk.

I'm 27 weeks and while out have popped into a costa, nero, starbucks, Mcdonald, 2 wetherspoons and 2 hotels to pee in the bathroom. I've also thrown up in several drains/grates around the place. Unless it's a shopping centre there just aren't public toilets any more. I don't ask though, I just walk in and confidence does seem to be king because I've never been challenged 😂.

I'm pregnant and gone from a human that can keep food down and never needed to get up in the night to pee to someone that couldn't keep food down for over 10 weeks (lost over a stone) and needs to get up multiple times a night to pee. Especially if baby is in certain positions I need the toilet every half hour.

Ignore the vitriol, they have a bathroom, you need a bathroom. You using it costs them basically nothing. Don't ask and just use next time 😂.

McDonald’s is also franchised and I imagine like Costa will differ wildly on location with different policies for different sites.

Don't ask and just use next time 😂

That might be a tad difficult if it's a locked door..

Depending on the location, it could well turn into one of those things where everybody thinks of themselves as 'just one extra', but they are actually a great many combined - especially if you're next to a busy bus station or whatever.

I've thought of another thing too: now that everybody reviews everywhere that they go, there must also be a real risk of bad reviews from (maybe entitled) people to whom you have done a kindness.

If an endless stream of non-customers is also leaving an endless stream of "the toilets are gross in Costa next to the bus station" reviews, in a vicious circle kind of way, that may well deter genuine would-be customers who will not know that all the toilet-reviewers were not actually customers.

Sadly, we live in a world where a brief kind favour will quickly be assumed as an entitlement, and then people will feel that they have every right to complain if they perceive anything as less than perfect.

I remember a Little Chef along a busy traffic route (obviously many years ago now!), where they had toilets right next to the entrance, and many people would stop off just to grab a free wee without buying anything.

They quickly started keeping an eye on people heading to the toilets and would intercept them, breezily saying "Table for two is it, Sir, Madam? Right this way, follow me, please!"

It caused a lot of clear awkwardness, but from the observations of those of us who had stopped off to eat there, it would have been about 10-20 non-customers using the toilets for every paying customer if they'd not done so. Anybody saying that they just wanted to use the toilet were told they were for customers only, and then had to decide whether to buy a drink or to hold it in until the next stopping place they could find.

I know that the big service stations (Moto et al) are legally required to offer free parking and toilets to everybody, regardless of what you do or don't buy, as part of their contract for being allowed to be there, but this was just a relatively small restaurant next to a basic road-side petrol station.

OP went into a Costa, as have I. If I need the bathroom of course I choose a public bathroom if there is one, then I will choose the biggest place possible (e.g. spoons) where there are likely to be multiple toilets so me using one is least likely to inconvenience a paying customer. If people genuinely need the bathroom they need the bathroom and they should be able to use them.

A lot of towns havent got public loos nowadays or if they do they are grim. I live in a town with 80,000+ people. Only two public toilet options. One I suspect is often used for other activities. Second option is in the town park - quite a trek from the town centre. And frequented by toddlers whose aim is creative. Using either isnt tempting.

But what if she was dying to go?

@DameCurlyBassey

Instead of trying to kick off her dh could have bought something which makes them a customer while she goes to the toilet.

Boy, there are some unpleasant, intolerant people on MN at the moment!! Of course they should have let you use the loo, it's not as though it would cost them anything, or be inconvenient. I often use the loo in the local McDonalds or the DIY store across the road from it when I'm in town - I have been a customer of both on many occasions, but even if I wasn't they wouldn't care. I've even nipped into the local hospital before today, and people often came into my workplace, which has a loo in the foyer, and we didn't rush out and police it.
What is wrong with some of you? Ignore them OP, MN seems to be ever increasingly becoming a platform for those lacking in social skills and manners.

YANBU. You're a regular customer there after all. Live and let live.

Well said.

We all think we're special.

I don't knock on anyone's door or go into private residences, nor would there be any reason for anyone to be near my house as I live in the middle of nowhere with no public footpaths etc, somewhat different to putting a shop on a highstreet because you expect high foot traffic. I walk from the main street through an unlocked door into an establishment that is welcoming members of the public and use their unlocked bathrooms. I don't walk into clothes shops and ask to go into their staff areas to use bathrooms either.

You can be difficult all you like but considering these bathrooms are open to members of the public anyway I see no harm in OP using them when she needs them, especially when she needs it more often due to pregnancy, which medically does mean you need to pee more than average. What exactly do you propose she do otherwise? Pee herself? Expose herself in the street and pee into a drain? Never go out?

OP never requested to queue jump, simply wanted to use an empty bathroom. I'm glad you never had bladder issues as a result of pregnancy but unfortunately some do not have the same experience as you.

If there is a working, empty bathroom in an establishment open to the public, why shouldn't someone who needs the bathroom be able to use it? Pregnant or not, adult or child.

If there is a working, empty bathroom in an establishment open to the public, why shouldn't someone who needs the bathroom be able to use it? Pregnant or not, adult or child.

If a business allows literally anyone to use their toilets, at any time, paying customer or not, then there will definitely be extra costs to the business, and certainly won't be "it costs them basically nothing" as you earlier said.

I’m not sure what else you want, OP? You wanted to use the loo, you got to use the loo.

They didn’t have to let you use it, but they did. They probably get loads of non-customers asking and as well as being baristas they also have to go in and clean it, so you’re making more work for them. Expecting them to gush over you is a bit entitled.

You could have bone somewhere like MdDs who let anyone use it.

You weren't a customer so they were right to decline. I have a card that states because I'm on water tablets, I may need the bathroom urgently please let me use your bathroom but it doesn't mean im entitled to do so. This is were responsibility comes in, if you know you need the bathroom alot then you need to plan things better rather then moan if someone rolls their eyes... you were lucky to have been allowed.

"In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants"
From Google

@Hawkins0090

What on earth did you type into google to get this spectacular nonsense?