to walk in a country park at 8:30-10pm on my own?

[danniegrace]

dh annoyed at this suggestion by me and said he will be really annoyed if i do it as he will worry the whole time. we have a pretty high energy dog and the best time for his longer walk is simply in the evening time, dog is with me all day but i am a carer for a relative so with them all day, dh does take dog out in the morning but he needs another walk again in the evening and i just prefer somewhere than a pavement walk or small park... i am a fully grown woman in my late 20s. i know this sounds weird but there has been absolutely no crimes there that have come up in any sort of news, at all, not even over a decade ago, its a rather open country park vs very woodlandy. would you do it?

Good for you, OP. Lots of us would be nervous about this, but in all honesty I think the risk is not that great, probably rather less than walking somewhere more populated at night. YWNBU if you were too scared to do it either, and no one here who feels that way should berate themselves for their reluctance to take an unnecessary risk. But imo no one should be trying to talk you out of something you want to do and feel confident about, least of all your dh, who shouldn't be making you responsible for the management of his emotions, particularly when his position is fundamentally illogical (assuming he'd be okay with you walking the dog in a country park during the day).

...and just another thing to bloody well organise.

I just want to bung some shoes on and clear off. I'm not an introvert, but I truly value and need the time when I can be sure not one single bugger will ask anything of me!

Ha, true - that as well! 😁

Great post. I think you're spot on about it being a patriarchal attitude about women needing protecting, and actually the flip side of the same coin that tolerates violence against women / turns a blind eye to 'low level' sexual harassment. The statistics show that men ARE more at risk of violent attack than women, but men are allowed to take risks that us poor vulnerable women need protecting from.
I'm aware that part of the reason that I have quite a gung ho attitude here is that in all my years of walking where I wanted, hitching alone, wild camping and so on, nothing bad has happened to me... except, reading some of these posts, I have realised that several of the things people are citing as reasons to be fearful have happened to me, but at the time I responded in the way that felt appropriate and sensible, and carried on with my day.

Intended to quote previous post, but this one follows on directly...

I think the issue here is “opportunity”, if you go out and walk the dog at a set time, vary your route frequently and stay in well lit areas adjacent to houses/shops/busy places it is probably fine.

If you go out at the same time, take the same route through a park where it isn’t well lit, there are no people about etc…. Well you are a sitting duck if someone decides they want to attack you.

Personally, I don’t go out alone after about 9/9.30pm. Whoever posted about men being at risk as well is right; a man was raped in a local park near me about midnight, it happens.

How do you respond appropriately and carry on with your day if sometime appears from nowhere with a knife to rob you or sexually assault you?

You can't live you life being scared of events that are unlikely to happen

You are MUCH more likely to be in a serious car crash than robbed at knifepoint ( common sense reading of that required )

Sone people are afraid of their own shadow following them , people smiling at them when they walk past, people not smiling at them when they walk past , being automatically threatened by someone big or young, people with disabilities walking past ( all seen in MN over the last year )

Women in particular have been trained to have a warped sense of risk that can limit what they do - walking outside in nature is brilliant exercise for mental and physical health - if you won't do it after dark ( so after work in winter ) it's very restrictive and harmful - but somehow that a risk you are prepared to take

I think because inaction feels safer than choosing to do something ?

Well that's never happened to me, so I've no idea how I'd respond in that situation. But in my experience fear is an anticipatory emotion - it's easy to whip yourself up into a state of fear when imagining what might happen, but when I've actually found myself in potentially hairy situations I've not actually been afraid, and have so far always responded in a way that has diffused things. It's often felt quite mundane at the time, and only afterwards have I realised how scary it sounds.
As an example, when a female friend and I were students we hitchhiked up to NW Scotland to go backpacking. On our first night we were in Glasgow, and were dropped off at a country park next to the motorway with a deserted campsite. We set up in the furthest corner, as we intended to leave early and wanted to avoid paying / being seen, and as we were doing so a slightly odd man who was staying in a static caravan in another part of the park saw us and came over to chat. He returned at about 3am, and in my sleepy state I remember telling my friend to ignore him as he was just being annoying before going back to sleep... obviously that could have ended very differently, but I wasn't actually scared at the time. It certainly didn't put me off camping, and in fact I didn't really give it another thought until much later when something reminded me of the incident and I realised that it was potentially pretty scary.