to walk in a country park at 8:30-10pm on my own?

[danniegrace]

dh annoyed at this suggestion by me and said he will be really annoyed if i do it as he will worry the whole time. we have a pretty high energy dog and the best time for his longer walk is simply in the evening time, dog is with me all day but i am a carer for a relative so with them all day, dh does take dog out in the morning but he needs another walk again in the evening and i just prefer somewhere than a pavement walk or small park... i am a fully grown woman in my late 20s. i know this sounds weird but there has been absolutely no crimes there that have come up in any sort of news, at all, not even over a decade ago, its a rather open country park vs very woodlandy. would you do it?

If you are sure after reading up what does happen in isolated country areas (dark or no dark) and can count yourself aware and smart... Well better you than me is all I'm gonna say.

Mind you, might be statistically safer than a city park after dark/early in the morning. But the one occasion of wrong will not be compatible with life most likely. Do you have children? Is a dog walk worth it?

Sorry, but what is that even supposed to mean?
You seem to be talking in riddles.

"Might not be compatible with life"
Are you always so dramatic?!
Just because you're too scared to go out by yourself after dark doesn't mean we all have to be.
If you took your attitude, you'd never get in a car or cross a road in case it ended in a " not compatible with life" scenario.

Exactly.

The vast majority of us will take bigger risks every single day which are far more likely to kill us such as driving a car.

If the dog I had would defend me, then I’d do it, but otherwise no. A dog our family had saved my DM from a man in the bushes

It's a risk. I couldn't pretend otherwise to myself or anyone I cared for. Other people take all sorts of risks that I do not. I think they are unreasonable to do so but they are allowed to risk their lives in whatever ways they choose.

I hitchhiked regularly&alone between the ages 15 - 19.
Wanna' try? Want your teenage daughter (or son) to have a go? Still more people die in car accidents than in sexual homicide whilst hitching a ride.... I made it unharmed, to strengthen my point! When are we going? What's against it?

On reflection the only issue I have ever had is that sometimes the other dogs walked late in are the savage sort. I used to worry about meeting the lurches off lamping with the travellers but actually they were fine with my mutt when we did meet. Where I am I meet a fair few out hunting in different ways. The blokes have always been fine if slightly surprised to come across me. The problems have been the hapless oh he is a bit … as their dog tries to eat mine. Watch for them and tree roots first of all.

I’m in my 20s. My family and friends wouldn’t want me walking through a park alone at 10pm, dog or not. I wouldn’t want my friends or family doing the same either. That manifests in wanting to ensure they get home safely. I might advise them not to go, or offer them a lift, or offer to accompany them, or keep my phone clear in case they call. I wouldn’t say it’s controlling as there’s an increased chance of risk unfortunately, as you can tell by this thread with the majority of posters not wanting to be out in a park alone at that time either. It’s not a unique perspective.

Sure, an already abusive man could use a situation like this in an abusive manner, just like anything else. I don’t think being worried about someone you care about in this situation is indicative of control in itself though. It shouldn’t cause arguments, but it can cause concern to people who care about you - you might be susceptible to being vulnerable when out and about alone at night. Especially in a huge country park where you could be far from an exit in an emergency and may not have decent passers by that you could seek help from.

No. I absolutely would not.

No, it's not controlling to worry about someone's safety.
It starts to tip into it if you don't let it go enough to tell them "you'll be really annoyed if they do" like the OP says he does or fitting your partners devices with trackers so they can see your movements like has been suggested by others on the thread.

I hitchhiked a couple of times when I was young. I never did it alone because my instinct told me that by getting into someone’s vehicle I was giving up all control and making myself vulnerable. By contrast, I feel as comfortable walking alone at night as I do walking alone in the day. I am very unlikely to go hitchhiking even with a friend now, partly because I can afford not to and partly because it has become so socially unacceptable that I would feel the people willing to pick me up would be self-selecting. I would suspect them of having nefarious intent, and they would probably feel the same about me, because who other than a predator wouldn’t feel embarrassed and dodgy to do it nowadays? So that is why I do one and not the other. It’s no skin off my nose that hitchhiking is socially unacceptable because I don’t want to do it (although in another world a society which embraced it could perhaps dramatically reduce car usage). But I am desperately keen that the idea of women walking alone at night shouldn’t become (or remain?) socially unacceptable because that would imprison and frustrate me and make me angry and sad.

I'm sorry but we are more vulnerable than men. Men are stronger than us. That's one of the arguments against trans women in women's sports.

Many years ago I worked with a woman who did judo. I don't know what level but she had been doing it for years. She had a conversation with a male colleague saying that she could hold her own against any man because of her training. He didn't agree. A couple of weeks after that he came up behind her in the office and she was on the floor before she knew where she was. She complained that she didn't see him coming so couldn't react, he said that most attackers didn't give you advance warning. It all ended well because they eventually got married.

I also think that men who walk alone in isolated places in the dark are putting themselves at risk.

Not surprised by the split opinions above. It’s really up to individuals to make that call. If I was very familiar with an area, then yes no problem. If I didn’t know the area, or was uncomfortable based on knowing the area, then no.

the chances of anything happening are very small, looking at that report listed above, and other references related from that, it looks like about 1000 stranger sexual assaults per in London metro area per year reported. It’s shocking of course, but given the huge population…

I walk in places like that frequently. And later. I live in a safe area in a suburb of a nice town.

I'm at greater risk of mishap when crossing the road.

As a woman I can say I personally wouldn’t do that

Definitely not.

In the wake of what happened to Sarah Everard I’m stunned at some of you. What are the odds of being raped and murdered by a policeman? It still happened though.

You're stunned that grown adults refuse to curfew themselves after dark because they're too afraid of getting attacked?
I'm more stunned" that people won't go out by themselves after dark as they're too worried about being attacked, that's no way to live.

@TakeUsHome It’s really up to individuals to make that call
Yes, that's very true, we make decisions for ourselves.
My previous comment reads as a bit judgy, but was just matching the tone of the poster who was "stunned, seemed a bit judgy

It wasn’t “judgy”. And you put words in my mouth. Yes, I’m stunned at the apparent insouciance of people who seem to think walking in remote places like a country park after dark is risk free.

You do it if you feel comfortable, you don’t if you don’t.

There is no right answer here and it’s disappointing to see so many posters suggesting that there is.

Eh? You do realise that lots of things carry risks don't you? I don't think anyone is saying there is zero risk, just that it is a risk that many of us feel is worth taking in order to do something that we want to do.
I take it you never get in a car or aeroplane, climb a ladder or swim in the sea...

Nope, I never climb a ladder. Low blood pressure and vertigo would make that a terrible idea.