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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to walk in a country park at 8:30-10pm on my own?

359 replies

danniegrace · 28/08/2023 21:06

dh annoyed at this suggestion by me and said he will be really annoyed if i do it as he will worry the whole time. we have a pretty high energy dog and the best time for his longer walk is simply in the evening time, dog is with me all day but i am a carer for a relative so with them all day, dh does take dog out in the morning but he needs another walk again in the evening and i just prefer somewhere than a pavement walk or small park... i am a fully grown woman in my late 20s. i know this sounds weird but there has been absolutely no crimes there that have come up in any sort of news, at all, not even over a decade ago, its a rather open country park vs very woodlandy. would you do it?

OP posts:
Xrays · 28/08/2023 21:21

I wouldn’t do it but I wish I didn’t feel that way.

aspirationalflamingo · 28/08/2023 21:21

Is there actually any evidence that personal alarms stop rape/murder?

Original poster
danniegrace · 28/08/2023 21:21

my dog isnt huge but a medium rescue from romania... but dont think he is very scary looking lol

OP posts:
Inmybirthdaysuit · 28/08/2023 21:21

I do. I don't let my sex act as some kind of curfew for me. No way, no how. My one concession is that I don't wear my headphones after dark so I can hear a sneak attack Wink

aspirationalflamingo · 28/08/2023 21:23

If you wear a headtorch it will stop your eyes adjusting to the dark and restrict your field of perception.

Enthusedeggplant · 28/08/2023 21:23

It varies - the park has a path and enough light that I am usually ok but the other terrains need light when the moon isn’t bright. I prefer it when I don’t need one - the light/dark feels a bit uneven to me somehow. I am city rather than countryside though light pollution stops it from being really dark.

SpringSummerDreamer · 28/08/2023 21:23

moomoosaka · 28/08/2023 21:11

I wouldn't do it but I wish I didn't feel like that

Same here. I feel sad about it though.

Icannotthinkofaname · 28/08/2023 21:23

I have literally just joined to comment on this post.
I am a 40 year old woman and I have never felt afraid or unsafe walking anywhere alone whether it's light or dark.
I have been sexually assaulted by a man(I was 16, and naive and too trusting) I knew well and trusted.
It isn't always the strangers you should be afraid of.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 28/08/2023 21:24

I would and I have done in the past, isn't the risk of rape/murder higher from someone known to the victim than by a stranger?

2chocolateoranges · 28/08/2023 21:24

I wouldn’t do it but I also hate the fact that I should be safe to go out and do that but I wouldn’t take the risk. All it takes is to come across one random person and the consequences don’t bare thinking about.

Original poster
danniegrace · 28/08/2023 21:24

aspirationalflamingo · 28/08/2023 21:23

If you wear a headtorch it will stop your eyes adjusting to the dark and restrict your field of perception.

YES that is what i thought

OP posts:
Feellikeafailurenow · 28/08/2023 21:24

I wouldn’t do it - i wouldn’t walk anywhere alone nowadays. It’s sad & we shouldn’t have to live scared or worry about the “what if’s” and in my younger days i might not have worried quite as much but now i’m older with daughters of my own it’s not worth the risk (no matter how small it seems)

IseeNarcPeople · 28/08/2023 21:25

I also live in a very low crime and rural area. I have been in my local woods for twenty five years any time from 4am to midnight, both working and walking the dogs
A couple of years ago the first ever attempted knife,/rape attack happened in a place I'd been in half an hour before.
Since then I carry a street legal defence spray (farbgel) I've hitched all over the world with no problems but there's no accounting to where you may have a problem.
Also dog knapping is huge now.
Better to carry it and never need it.

aspirationalflamingo · 28/08/2023 21:25

Ratfinkstinkypink · 28/08/2023 21:24

I would and I have done in the past, isn't the risk of rape/murder higher from someone known to the victim than by a stranger?

Sure. But that's not going to be much comfort if you're the person it happens to.

FoodFann · 28/08/2023 21:26

No no no @danniegrace I don’t want to be reading about you in the newspaper!

grumpycow1 · 28/08/2023 21:27

Can you find a local FB group and see if there’s any other dog walkers to meet up with? I wouldn’t do it alone and I’m 38. I hate the fact that it’s the case but I value my life more :( At least with a street walk there are more passers by, houses to knock on etc.

tt9 · 28/08/2023 21:29

I would love to tell you this is OK and that you will be safe. but I am afraid its a hard no. it takes 1 crazy person for something bad to happen. dogs are very easily subdued even if you have eg. a cane corso.

ThePoshUns · 28/08/2023 21:30

I love walking in the evening and refuse to be scared because of a tiny minority of men. If you feel safe you probably are safe.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/08/2023 21:30

I wouldn't go walking around in the dark where there are no streetlights. It's more a fear of wolves, monsters or falling into a pit than other humans if I'm honest. I have no problems walking at night where there are lights.

tt9 · 28/08/2023 21:30

ps I would also give a man the same advice I have given you.

wineandsunshine · 28/08/2023 21:31

I personally wouldn't as I don't enjoy walking on my own in the dark (my mind overthinks everything!).

Could you ask a friend or family member to join you?

We should never have to feel scared in our local community.

MariaVT65 · 28/08/2023 21:32

No fucking way would I do that OP, sorry.

I’ve had enough experience from creepy male strangers in daylight/well-lit public places, let alone dark country parks.

Original poster
danniegrace · 28/08/2023 21:34

i watch loads of true crime and i see so many more attacks in well lit areas, people being chased along the town/street and having to knock on doors or creepy people in vans/cars just driving about in the early hours, randoms waiting in local parks to catch a woman from a night out walking through, i literally never see anything for country parks and its funny because people seem to think they are so much more risky!

OP posts:
OhNoForever · 28/08/2023 21:35

I walk alone at night. I did it when I lived in the city. I do it now I live in remote rurality. The small risk of stranger attack does not imo make it worth living an indoor life of fear. If you want to avoid rape, try not to know any men at all. Because those are the ones most likely to rape you. Your husband, your coworkers, friends, brothers. The rate of stranger rape is very small compared to rape by someone the victim knows.

I still risk knowing men, and I still walk alone at night. I will not live in fear.

Positive41 · 28/08/2023 21:36

It should not have to be this way OP

But please don't.

If you must, stick to the main road. Sadly, even that is risky.