To think my friend was not BU in this cafe situation?

[TicketsThisWayForTheChatsworthExpress]

My friend runs a small independent cafe that is dog friendly but the dogs have to be outdoors. Over the weekend, a family of six people came in with 2 dogs and were directed outside. The tables outside are picnic benches that seat 10, inside the tables seat six (they’re all the same size). The family went outside and took 2 picnic benches. Which annoyed my friend as that’s depriving potential customers of a bench but she let it go and said nothing.

She noticed one of the children, a boy aged about 8, having a tantrum outside because he doesn’t like eating outdoors and wants to eat indoors. Next thing she knew, his mum had brought him inside and sat him at the last available table (with an iPad blasting). She asked my friend if his order could come to that table as he doesn’t like eating outside so she said he could come in and eat alone.

My friend said she couldn’t allow this, because they don’t allow children to eat and drink unsupervised for health and safety reasons (they’d also ordered the child a hot drink). The outside area is down a large set of steps so they couldn’t have seen him from the garden. The mum said he has ADHD and doesn’t like to eat outside. My friend - who also has a DS with ADHD BTW - said sorry no we can’t take the risk of him eating alone. What she didn’t say but wanted to was ‘You’d also be taking up three tables when you should only be taking up one and I shouldn’t have to turn customers away because of this’.

Anyway she dug her heels in and the mum gave in and went back outside, the 8yo had a (small) tantrum outside and played his iPad full blast for the duration of their meal (he was asked by another waitress to turn it down which he did a fraction).

When the family paid the mum said she would be posting reviews online to say that the cafe owner is ableist and wouldn’t accommodate the needs of a disabled child. My friend said nothing, and nothing has appeared as of yet online, but she’s gutted about this accusation especially with her DS having ADHD. She said she’d never let her ADHD DS eat alone because actually the risk of him being hurt would increase greatly.

AIBU to think it’s not about ableism but about health and safety? I feel really bad for her!

And you won't do your friend any favours if you are going around telling people she owns a dog friendly café.

I don’t think it sounds like the family were entitled re the dogs at all. But people on this thread do give off the vibe that they think their dogs should have equal rights to humans and that it’s very unreasonable not to allow them inside cafes if they can be outside. And a total lack of understanding as to why people don’t want to be around their dogs

I think this scale should be adopted.

And accredited with a sign in the window.

Maybe 💩 - 💩💩💩💩💩?

Some individuals, yes. Not "dog owners". "Dog owners" aren't one homogenous Borg-system who all think and behave the same. "Dog owners" aren't any more entitled than "parents". Just because some people think their child should be allowed to sit inside a café on their own, doesn't mean "all parents" are entitled, does it? It is individual people.

I agree - but no one has ever claimed on this thread that ALL dog owners are entitled.

However IMO enough dog owners are entitled that it’s become a problem in our society.

They did. Which is why I responded to that poster.

this demonstrates to me why dog owners are so entitled...

And again, it is not "dog owners", it is people. Entitled people who own dogs. It is not the ownership of a dog that makes a person entitled.

I pressed the wrong button .. yanbu

Oh my god! Now we are going to have to include dog owners as a protected class and we will need to add NADOALT to each sentence lest their sensibilities be offended by these glancing, hyperbolic, semi critical comment?

I would like that, thank you. But you will have to ask every other dog owner what they want seeing as they are all individuals. Ya know?

Also, can I get:

Not all parents are selfish
Not all women are crazy
Not all MNetters are stupid
Not all children are annoying
Not all disabilities are physical

Etc.

Or maybe just don't be ignorant and generalise groups of people based on the behaviour of some.

Hmmm
I can’t say I’ve ever seen a non-dog owner fight so vehemently and behave so entitled so to have others people’s dogs have access to places.

All joking aside no one is obligated to take account of the sensibilities of a generic class of people. I don’t have to care about hobbyists of any kind—and dog owners are just hobbyists they are not morally, historically, or socially significant or discriminated against. They are just a subset of an ownership culture.

That being said I think this thread is a good example of online trolling with various posters taking on offensive and defensive postures about a non issue (the dogs) just to get the thread activated. I am guilty of joining in for fun. But I think some of the more vociferous pro dog voices were probably just trolling to create the conditions for an online free for all.

I’m not sure that not wanting dogs in eateries is the same as misogyny but OK

LMAO at some of these replies!

The family chose a café where dogs were allowed outside. If the 8 year old wanted to sit inside then they should have chosen a cafe where dogs can also go inside.

If they do leave an online review, then your friend just needs to word a very polite response that it was inappropriate to leave a child unsupervised in a restaurant.

Try reading your original post

I have.

As I have stated really clearly several times, dog friendly was MY terminology. Please point out where I stated it’s advertised as dog friendly. Do you understand the difference?

Oh the venom against entitlement dog owners 😱
We aren’t entitled at all. We would just like the occasional cafe that allows us to sit inside after our walk with our dogs. If a cafe offers this service it is your choice whether you wish to mix with us heathens and our filthy, flea ridden slobbering dogs.
Surely it is those objectors who believe they are entitled.

And I stand by describing it as dog friendly. You can take your dog in there, there’s bowls and treats. You just are expected to balance respecting other customer’s space by not having them inside. I know many people think having a Fur Baby means they have a magical pass to behave how they like but thankfully some places still have a scrap of decency left

On the same note, you can’t be outraged in if a cafe doesn’t want your dog inside and insists they stay outside

Where I am there are far more places that allow dogs than not. I’m not sure dog owners (or their dogs) are the oppressed minority people think they are.

Surely it is those objectors who believe they are entitled

Yes I do think humans are entitled to human spaces without someone else’s pet.

Question - can I bring a cat or a snake to a cafe? What about a horse? Is it different to having a dog?

I do.
We’ve all picked up that your wording was your wording and that you’ve admitted you were wrong to use the term.
Advertised or not advertised you did, innocently, use the words ‘dog friendly’ at the beginning.
The discussions now have moved on from your post to disagreements about allowing dogs inside other establishments.
You’ll make yourself ill battling against everyone of us. We’re not criticising you.

you’ve admitted you were wrong to use the term.

No I haven’t. I stand by my description of her cafe as dog friendly. Even if she advertises it as ‘Dogs outside’ to me that is dog friendly

You’ll make yourself ill battling against everyone of us. We’re not criticising you.

Im not battling at all. I’m just correcting people who are outraged that they may turn up to my friend’s cafe ‘expecting it to be dog friendly when it isn’t’. The conclusion jumping and lack of reading comprehension has been, if nothing else, very entertaining.

I didn’t say we are outraged if the cafe doesn’t not allowed dogs inside. We simply accept it or move on.

If we are not the minority then I’m glad to hear it

You might move on, but judging by this thread there are some angry people that their dog can’t invade every public space going even when they are inevitably unwanted by so many people

So you can take dogs in? 🤪

I would like it too 😂