To think my friend was not BU in this cafe situation?

[TicketsThisWayForTheChatsworthExpress]

My friend runs a small independent cafe that is dog friendly but the dogs have to be outdoors. Over the weekend, a family of six people came in with 2 dogs and were directed outside. The tables outside are picnic benches that seat 10, inside the tables seat six (they’re all the same size). The family went outside and took 2 picnic benches. Which annoyed my friend as that’s depriving potential customers of a bench but she let it go and said nothing.

She noticed one of the children, a boy aged about 8, having a tantrum outside because he doesn’t like eating outdoors and wants to eat indoors. Next thing she knew, his mum had brought him inside and sat him at the last available table (with an iPad blasting). She asked my friend if his order could come to that table as he doesn’t like eating outside so she said he could come in and eat alone.

My friend said she couldn’t allow this, because they don’t allow children to eat and drink unsupervised for health and safety reasons (they’d also ordered the child a hot drink). The outside area is down a large set of steps so they couldn’t have seen him from the garden. The mum said he has ADHD and doesn’t like to eat outside. My friend - who also has a DS with ADHD BTW - said sorry no we can’t take the risk of him eating alone. What she didn’t say but wanted to was ‘You’d also be taking up three tables when you should only be taking up one and I shouldn’t have to turn customers away because of this’.

Anyway she dug her heels in and the mum gave in and went back outside, the 8yo had a (small) tantrum outside and played his iPad full blast for the duration of their meal (he was asked by another waitress to turn it down which he did a fraction).

When the family paid the mum said she would be posting reviews online to say that the cafe owner is ableist and wouldn’t accommodate the needs of a disabled child. My friend said nothing, and nothing has appeared as of yet online, but she’s gutted about this accusation especially with her DS having ADHD. She said she’d never let her ADHD DS eat alone because actually the risk of him being hurt would increase greatly.

AIBU to think it’s not about ableism but about health and safety? I feel really bad for her!

Also it’s absolutely fine for me friend to want to make money and not just provide a load of tables for a family who want to spread themselves across the whole cafe. She’s also allowed to decide if she only wants dogs outside. It’s a tourist town, plenty of other ‘dogs inside’ places they could have gone, but didn’t.

When someone does an online search for the cafe, does it say dog friendly?

Oh sorry, just realised the inside tables also seat six people. So they could have sat inside, with their dogs and their annoying and loud child………

They were a family of six and OP says the indoor tables seat six.

So yes, they could have done.

No idea. I can’t believe people are mostly outraged by me describing it as dog friendly 🤣

In that case it’s the mother’s choice, but the tone of your post is dripping is with judgement throughout so I find it difficult to believe that this didn’t come across in your friend’s interactions with the family, almost setting things up for confrontation from the start. I also don’t think it sounds dog friendly at all.

Re the dog thing - my friend has dogs herself but for the cafe size she didn’t want close tables and the risk of dogs tripping people up, jumping out from under tables etc . She’d have lost a table making more space. Whereas outside the benches are well spread out.

Because I guess it's partly what's caused the problem.

If the cafe was properly dog friendly, they could all have sat indoors and none of this would have happened.

Of course your friend is free to run her business how she likes, but dog-friendly does imply that dogs are welcome inside.

I think the parent is better aware of the child’s abilities & needs than your friend.

I was thinking this. It's like saying dogs are allowed in a shop as long as you keep them outside.

Regardless. Entitled woman expecting others to supervise her child. Sick of these people to be honest.

What is the problem people have with dogs only being allowed in the garden?

People are always being told on other threads to go somewhere else if they don’t want to be in a cafe that allows dogs inside - why couldn’t the dog owners go somewhere else if they wanted to be inside? It sounds like the cafe was quite clear about what was allowed if there was a “dogs welcome in our garden” sign.

But if he spilled his hot drink all over himself, or had an accident, my friend is liable - which is exactly why she has the right to refuse to let him eat alone.

But there was only 6 of them + 2 dogs so that could all have sat inside on the one remaining table.

I don't think it sounds dog friendly, I don't own a dog but surely the expectation is the dog stays outside, and to become dog friendly you let them in.
Your friends customer service was poor, she came down to the level of the disgruntled family instead of trying to find a solution.

It's like saying dogs are allowed in a shop as long as you keep them outside

Not if half the shop is outside. Our local garden centre allows dogs in outside areas but not inside. A local stately home also allows ‘well behaved’ dogs outside, but not in the home itself. I still think that’s dog friendly

What is the problem people have with dogs only being allowed in the garden?

Nothing at all, they're just saying it's misleading to say the restaurant is dog-friendly when actually, they're not allowed inside it.

It's a bit like saying "My shop is dog-friendly but only if the dog stands outside".

Yes. I corrected myself up thread.

She was supposed to find a solution for a problem that didn’t exist?

I wouldn't describe either of those as being dog-friendly, really.

Yes. Cross posted.

they're just saying it's misleading to say the restaurant is dog-friendly

TO CLARIFY

I used the term dog friendly. Me. I never said it was advertised that way.

The cafe doesn’t have a website but just checked the FB page which says what the sign outside says “Dogs are welcome in our garden”

This is not the fault of the owner. All it needed was for a parent to stay inside with the boy. It isn't the owner's job to basically babysit their child.

what solution would you suggest?

Out of interest, how would the people objecting to the term “dog friendly” describe somewhere where dogs are allowed in / on part of the property but not others? It’s clearly not “no dogs”.

It’s semantics, anyway. The customers knew where dogs were and weren’t allowed before ordering, if it didn’t meet their needs they could have gone elsewhere.

YANBU

So it's not dog friendly.

Your friend was not BU otherwise.