to not take grandson to nursery every day

[ncgran]

I work part-time and have a gorgeous grandson who is 7 months. I would be happy to look after him a couple times a week while DD is at work but can't really do more than that and she has asked if I would divide those hours to daily and take and pick up from nursery instead. She works from 6am-1pm and will be going back to work soon. The half days at nursery are from 7-12 and so she would like to drop him off to me for 5:30 and pick up at 1.30 and have me take and pick up from nursery. Does anyone know if they can do a bit longer at nursery and she can pick him up from there? or are they actually quite strict on this? The days I can't do, DH could honestly drop him off (would probably be once a week) but then we are doing 5 mornings a week... I know it sounds mean and we obviously adore them both but that is a lot to be tied to but she is a single parent and we want to help where we can and I would love to come to a compromise but know very little about nursery hours etc so any suggestions would be fab

The only solution here is that your daughter needs to change hours or change job. No nursery would open that early and I can't imagine any child minder wanting to start that early.

It's also just really not fair on the baby having to wake up so early.

I don’t know any nurseries that open before 7. I know of a childminder who does from 6:30 but that’s unusual.

Lots of nurseries don’t operate on an hourly rate. So you pay for a half day or a full day. For example; if the half day runs from 7:30am - 1:30pm but you needed until 2pm, you couldn’t just pay for the extra 30 minutes. You’d have to pay for the full day.

Unfortunately the person who should be changing hours is your daughter.

This. Her hours don’t work as a single parent; they’re for her to change, not anyone else.

Childminders are in very short supply and can pick their hours. I doubt it would be willing to start at 5.30. It's an extremely early start for a relative small amount of money

no but she could find a childminder for after nursery?

Sorry cross posted with you OP.

Don't get them to move in if you already know it won't work.

What about it she cut her shifts - would she be eligible for any benefits?

It's an awful situation, but the only way she can go back to,those shifts is at the cost of your - and possibly babies- physical and mental health. What is your DH saying?

Remember this is all temporary. I’d not be delighted about it but I’d probably do it on the proviso that she really makes the effort to get another job.

It would be v rare that childminders start at 6am.

Your idea of her moving in for a few months might be a better solution.

Does she own her house? Could she move back in with you and rent it out?

YANBU to not want to do it, that's far too early! But I feel sorry for her as she's really stuck, isn't she? And just trying to do her best as a single parent Could they sleep at yours the night before her shifts until she works it out?

True. Then she’ll need to change her hours by getting a new job. But getting a baby and your parents up at 530 every day isn’t realistic.

OP like you said she is desperate, this is why the plan is a bit silly. Help her by saying no. That way she can go back to the drawing board rather than try this and realise it’s too much in a month or two.

I doubt the nursery will agree and it will have a huge impact on you and the baby both of whom will have to be up before 5am. Can you imagine getting up at 4 something every day throughout the long dark winter months?? The plan only really benefits your daughter, doesn’t it?

I wouldn't/couldn't function if I was to be up for 5 to look after a grand baby it is a huge ask.

Yes I really think she has to look for something else if her shifts aren't flexible.

no she is renting and she did look at UC/benefits and she said she would only get about £200 more a month if she stopped work vs her working and getting 2k from her work + UC thats only £200 less than not working, so she is 1.8k a month better off to work

DH isnt keen but DH is a bit of a grumpy git when it comes to helping out and its always me who does it anyway but i would obvious say he had to do his bit on the morning i couldnt but yes seems it may never actually get to that point and need to help dd figure something else out

Nursery half day is usually 8-5 but there are quite a lot of nurseries offering more flexible options eg school day, hourly rate. Times are generally more flexible with a childminder.
younsay you work so what hours is she proposing you work to fit in with drop off and pick up?
unfortunately having children invariably means sacrifices, it’s nice that you want to minimise those for her but I also think this could potentially affect your own heath if you’re trying to work as well

OP I'm up at 5.30 to take my DD14 to school then work a full day...by Wednesday I am exhausted.

You need to talk to your DD about how you can help without exhausting yourself.

And I'm also a lone parent so I do get it.

I was a single parent with young kids and no input from Dad, so I am not unsympathetic to your daughter.

However, she needs to find a new job. I had to do the same. Went into something that wasn't what I really wanted to do (it worked put in the end) but that meant I could work and look after the kids.

That early of a start is going to be no good for anyone. And, what happens if you and/or your husband become unable to do it?

It may not feel fair as the father made the decision to walk away but she can't continue doing as she did before the baby.

Nursery half day is usually 8-5

That’s a long half day!

I'm up early for various animals we have and love it in the summer but less so in the winter! I don't think I could cope cari g for a baby or child that early any more.

I would agree to helping her temporarily but only if she's active in finding another job.

5:30am daily I’d be saying no!!

5 days of that is just too much. She'll need to go back to the employer again to explain that sorry but she can't do the start times. The finish times are fine, lots of options for nursery, childminder or you helping out. Can the employer compromise with a switch to two 6-6.30 days and one 8.30 start? If baby stayed over with her then perhaps you could manage two mornings, nursery can do the full days with you or a childminder doing a pick-up. If not then she'll need to find another job.

she did look at UC/benefits and she said she would only get about £200 more a month if she stopped work vs her working and getting 2k from her work + UC thats only £200 less than not working, so she is 1.8k a month better off to work

Is she including any sort of childcare costs in that or is she assuming you will pick up the pieces around this plan for ‘free’?

Please don’t do it-especially is your own husband doesn’t want to do it-it will break you.

Just wanted to add that I also think it's not an option.

The ONLY option here is for your dd to change her working hours. Childminders won't start at 5.30 either and it's not fair to get a child up at 5am, well, really it would be more like 4.30 am if you include travel time. thats almost cruel. No, tell her it's just not doable.

Has she actually put in a formal flexible working request to her employer?