Page 25 | To say no to DSDs mum

RoarRoarBoom · 2023-08-27T19:03:43+00:00

I am taking my kids to Disneyland Paris next year with my mum. My mum is paying for half the trip and I’m paying the other half. My partner is not coming and isn’t paying towards it. It’s just a trip with my mum and kids. He is all the kids father. We dropped DSD back home today and she’s told her mum that I’m taking my kids to Disneyland and she’s sent my partner a Whats app asking if I would consider taking DSD on the trip too. If I say no then she is going to kick off but I don’t want to take her. This is a trip with my mum and her grandkids. AIBU to say not consider this at all

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 12:42

@Thisismynewusername1 Lol at only rich dads and those outside of the SE getting 50/50. 🤣

And it seems OPs husband made more babies quick enough with OP after splitting from ex. OPs child who is going to Disney is in year 11 next year so 15 now. SD can’t be much older. Maybe he should have concentrated on having enough money to see the one child he already had before producing more kids. But yeah, he’s not a shot dad. 🤔

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 12:43

*shit dad

escapingthecity · 28/08/2023 12:44

MavisMcMinty · 28/08/2023 12:34

You’re getting a hard time here @RoarRoarBoom but I think your plans are perfectly acceptable, and unless your DH’s ex takes all your kids on holiday with her every year she’s got a blimmin’ cheek expecting you to take hers. YANBU.

I agree.

Milkkbottles · 28/08/2023 12:45

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aSofaNearYou · 28/08/2023 12:47

@WishIDidntButIDo You are being very arrogant about something you clearly don't know much about. EOW is commonly believed to be better for the kids involved, and that is because they feel unsettled moving between homes so often and want a main base. These are two schools of thought that are both prevalent.

Dontcallmescarface · 28/08/2023 12:49

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 12:27

You're wrong. It's standard.

Standard for shit dads maybe. Every dad I know well has had a 60/40 or 50/50 arrangement when the kids were young. But I don’t mix with shitty people who don’t face up to their parental responsibility. EOW is shocking. I spend more time with my friends children than that.

My ex had DD EOW otherwise when would I get to spend some decent time with her during the school term? He made up for the lack of seeing her during term time by having her for 50% of all school holidays. I didn't view him as a "shit" father for letting me spend EOW with DD.

Original poster

RoarRoarBoom · 28/08/2023 12:49

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 12:42

@Thisismynewusername1 Lol at only rich dads and those outside of the SE getting 50/50. 🤣

And it seems OPs husband made more babies quick enough with OP after splitting from ex. OPs child who is going to Disney is in year 11 next year so 15 now. SD can’t be much older. Maybe he should have concentrated on having enough money to see the one child he already had before producing more kids. But yeah, he’s not a shot dad. 🤔

Stop talking about things you don’t have a clue about. Embarrassing yourself.

My child isn’t even 15!

OP posts:

Batalax · 28/08/2023 12:53

Instead if avoiding talking about the holiday, talk to the child about it. Explain why she can’t go. As with everything, communication is key and making children feel reassured is important. Avoiding talking about it will just mean she’s wonders and feels like an outsider.

Good point.

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 12:54

My child isn’t even 15!

If she’s doing her GCSEs next year, she must be having a birthday very, very soon.

Original poster

RoarRoarBoom · 28/08/2023 12:58

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 12:54

My child isn’t even 15!

If she’s doing her GCSEs next year, she must be having a birthday very, very soon.

Such a stalker and yet you are not even reading my posts properly. The post doesn’t even have anything to do my step daughter either!

I know which post you are talking about and I never said my daughter was doing her GCSEs.

I said for every set she goes up in il give her £100. As in if she’s in set 3 and manages to get to set 2 then il reward her. Nothing to do with her GCSEs.

Embarrassing.

OP posts:

Milkkbottles · 28/08/2023 12:59

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Original poster

RoarRoarBoom · 28/08/2023 13:00

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 12:54

My child isn’t even 15!

If she’s doing her GCSEs next year, she must be having a birthday very, very soon.

Want to bring up the post I commented on in The doghouse section too… I’m sure you can twist it somehow to make my partner look shit 😂

OP posts:

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:03

You said you’ve promised her Disney after GCSEs. You’re going to Disney next year. But they’re not related. 🤣 ok.

Either way, if your husband found enough cash to afford more kids, he could have used some of that cash to go back to court to get more time with his daughter. He chose not to. You asked where the money would come from to go back to court, well he obviously had enough to raise more kids.

Scatterbrainbox · 28/08/2023 13:03

notlucreziaborgia · 28/08/2023 12:16

Spoken like you have insight into what the stepdaughter ‘needs’ from OP, and if those are her ‘needs’ that they take priority over everyone else’s.

Who OP chooses to have relationships with, and how she chooses to manage them, is entirely her business. Your approval isn’t required.

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She's in a forum, asking people if they they approve of her actions. She has literally invited people to share their opinions....

Milkkbottles · 28/08/2023 13:04

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WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:06

Where do you think he would have got in court?

Plenty of people get arrangements changed, my BIL included. 🤷🏻‍♀️

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:07

Instead, he just had more kids. That’s a shitty dad.

Original poster

RoarRoarBoom · 28/08/2023 13:07

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:06

Where do you think he would have got in court?

Plenty of people get arrangements changed, my BIL included. 🤷🏻‍♀️

No one cares about your BiL

OP posts:

notlucreziaborgia · 28/08/2023 13:08

Scatterbrainbox · 28/08/2023 13:03

She's in a forum, asking people if they they approve of her actions. She has literally invited people to share their opinions....

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Yes, she’s asked for opinions. That doesn’t mean she’s anything other than curious about what people think. It doesn’t mean she’s obliged to care about or take any notice of said opinions, or that she actually requires anyone else to approve of her choices.

aSofaNearYou · 28/08/2023 13:09

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:03

You said you’ve promised her Disney after GCSEs. You’re going to Disney next year. But they’re not related. 🤣 ok.

Either way, if your husband found enough cash to afford more kids, he could have used some of that cash to go back to court to get more time with his daughter. He chose not to. You asked where the money would come from to go back to court, well he obviously had enough to raise more kids.

You're not listening to or acknowledging people explaining why more time is not always considered to their benefit.

Original poster

RoarRoarBoom · 28/08/2023 13:10

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:03

You said you’ve promised her Disney after GCSEs. You’re going to Disney next year. But they’re not related. 🤣 ok.

Either way, if your husband found enough cash to afford more kids, he could have used some of that cash to go back to court to get more time with his daughter. He chose not to. You asked where the money would come from to go back to court, well he obviously had enough to raise more kids.

Further to embarrass yourself…..

If you are going to try and go through my old posts at least read them properly.

We have also said we will be going to Disneyworld after her GCSEs as a reward

I wrote Disneyworld which is in a completely different country to Disneyland Paris!! So no it’s not related.

One is in the USA and the other is in FRANCE.

NOT RELATED.

OP posts:

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:10

No one cares about your BiL

I was answering a pp and giving an example of just how far you can get in court. 😊

Scatterbrainbox · 28/08/2023 13:12

notlucreziaborgia · 28/08/2023 13:08

Yes, she’s asked for opinions. That doesn’t mean she’s anything other than curious about what people think. It doesn’t mean she’s obliged to care about or take any notice of said opinions, or that she actually requires anyone else to approve of her choices.

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OP: AIBU
Some posters: yes
You: she doesn't need your approval you know...
Okay....

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:14

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Floofydawg · 28/08/2023 13:14

WishIDidntButIDo · 28/08/2023 13:07

Instead, he just had more kids. That’s a shitty dad.

Did your ex have more kids by any chance?

Mine did, and I don't give a flying fuck. Why would I?