Why would an adult male be alone in the teaching pool?

[redrighthand83]

At my local leisure centre, there is the large main pool and then a shallow teaching pool which is around 100cm deep at the deepest section.

The teaching pool during the day is essentially the toddler pool. I have seen adults in the teaching pool earlier in the morning when it's quiet- and good on them, to build their confidence etc.

But the last few weekends at the busy sessions there's a man alone in his late 60s who just sits there in the corner watching everyone. I just can't imagine why he would choose to sit in a pool full of screaming and splashing children other than the more sinister reasons. I have tried to find the logic -e.g. he is entitled to use it but why would someone of retirement age only be able to use a pool on a Saturday lunch? Could he just be lonely and oblivious to the weird vibes it gives off?

Am I being unreasonable to ask the centre to perhaps look to separate lone adults using the teaching pool from the busier sessions with children?

Voting:

YABU: The world doesnt revolve around children
YANBU: This could be a safeguarding issue

For the sake of clarity, I'd like to have been able to vote both YABU: The world doesn't revolve around children AND YANBU: This could be a safeguarding issue

If you think it's a safeguarding issue @redrighthand83 then you report it - either to the lifeguards (the ones at my pool certainly aren't teenagers - which is also an ageist assumption being made on this thread) or to the pool management.

But - it's also a very dangerous (if not ageist) assumption that a lone, older man who is just sitting in the pool is a paedophile.

Where has OP accused the man of anything? She's not spoken to anyone in real life about this yet so it would not be possible.

Talking about her fears on an anonymous forum is not "making an accusation", if that's what you're implying.

As a single sadly childless 40 something woman I would never ever want to sit motionless for an hour alone in a pool full of toddlers.
Sorry it's just weird behaviour!!

OP should definitely mention this man's behaviour to the manager of the leisure centre.

If he's not a pervert then that's all good.

Did you read the title before accusing anyone that answered a denier or enabler?

The OP asked for reasons why he might be there.

Still, pretty weird to have any uninvolved adult bobbing in the corner of a teaching pool while lessons are going on, isn’t it? At our pool he’d not be able to go in at that time anyway, and if he did I guarantee there would be many people thinking it was odd. MN is hilarious sometimes 😄

OP - I think it is weird too.

I have taken children swimming in lots of different training pools and have never seen a lone man just sitting in the corner of the pool. Just why?!?

What do the other parents / carers in the swimming group think?

Men don't generally attend because they get accused of being pervs or complained about because he will change the dynamic of a female only group.

Just becauae it is weird doesnt mean its a problem.

I agree that it appears wierd, unless he is resting after a long swim in the colder pool and this pool warms him up. Speak privately with the Leisure Centre manager (they may know he has been for a long swim and he always does this) and see if they know anything more. Would he be getting changed in the same changing rooms as the children afterwards? Our pool is totally closed off to normal swimming during lessons so it’s reassuring its only children (and their parents) in the changing rooms.

Is it possible that he's deliberately trying to rile people ? Some individuals are perverse by nature and like nothing better than a good row. If you approach him he may take great delight in telling you to mind your own business. I recall a neighbour like that when I was a child. Last year I saw an old man talking photos in our local park where children were playing watched by their parents. They were talking about him and a father approached him and said he shouldn't be taking photos around his children. The old guy proceeded to give the dad chapter and verse on the law re taking photos. It occurred to me that he had provoked argument intentionally. Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm right he'd probably say "if you dont like it go somewhere else". Nowt as queer as folk!

Some of the replies here are bonkers.

Trust your instincts OP.

Maybe his family used to go there, and he go's for the memories.

It’s the hiding in plain sight thing. Go with your gut. Speak to the manager - they will have safeguarding protocols.

dont have regrets

You don't know if you don't ask!

I can't believe the naivety of some posters. OP, I'd speak to one of the managers about it. Lifeguards might just assume he's brought his kids in. It's such a weird thing for anyone to do, especially given the noise levels.

This is the best one yet.

I mean, even if that were true, he could sit and watch, there is a viewing platform for the parents whose kids are in lessons.

There is also a large sign up saying 'No Pictures' because they know that small children in bathing suits are prime perv prey.

Someone literally answered the question that you asked...

I don't know the place!

Doesn’t mean it’s not a problem either.

I was asking for plausible reasons.....

I apologise for the snippiness. Its a very specific reason to give, thats all!

Talk to the leisure centre manager. You aren't accusing anyone of anything, only highlighting a possible safeguarding issue or pool policy to bear in mind.

Side note -
I have been to the sort of pool sessions a PP mentioned that are almost all women and I can tell you why the men don't go (because I've asked some). Pride.

The men that attend have all been referred by physios/GPs and say they wouldn't have dreamt of coming otherwise as it's "embarrassing" or "insulting" to class themselves as people who need extra support. The women mostly haven't had referrals, are going to improve strength and balance, and go every week rather than just the 6-10 sessions that get socially prescribed.

No it doesn't which is why in a further post I advised OP to speak to the centre manager about it so they can decide if its a problem or not as none of us can possibly know.

Has he got a son with a child there maybe? Just ask the staff there maybe he knows one of the staff working there?