Pretty people have such an advantage in life?

[ddisgruntled]

Honestly I think being not conventionally attractive means you have to work harder (at times quite a bit harder) than pretty people to be afforded the same things they get for free? Things like people attributing 'good' intentions to whatever they're doing, and are more eager to be helpful to pretty people, and others are more willing to gloss over their mistakes and flaws.

Of course we are all flawed, and all humans make mistakes, but I think attractive people have a much easier time with this being recognised. I'm nearly 40 so this isn't just observing the social dynamics of youngsters! It's everywhere, at every age.

It's subtle. I'm not ugly, just kind of bland and nondescript I'm very basic at grooming (washed and clean, but no point doing make up or hair as I'm shit at it and doesn't make any difference) and so don't really think about looks generally in day to day life - but then sometimes it hits me how it's like starting out a couple of steps behind a good looking person, in every new interaction?

Being unattractive makes me feel 'less than' other women. I've had so many awful comments from random men over the years. Sometimes even when they are walkig with their girlfriend or wife. I always think, how can that woman bare to be with a man that thinks like that? I've been laughed at, called all sorts of names, had someone mimic my face and the way I walk, I've had the full range of insults. This obviously effects my self confidence. Life is rubbish as an unattractive woman. If you are with a man that does this, please can you explain to him how it affects women like me?

@Jntprcsbllyngcnt Anyone who'd be in a relationship with a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal who'd pass comment negatively on your looks, needs their head testing. I mean seriously. That must surely be embarrassing to them, not least of all you. How absolutely vile and dehumanising.

@daisychain01
but I'd absolutely say that to any random bloke now and keep a steady gaze, enjoying every moment. It really is the only way to deal with that kind of misogyny - show them they really don't matter and that we don't need to rely on their approval, attention or unwanted opinion to be whole.
^^^***
Brilliant!!!!!

Thank you both for understanding (and @AliceOlive for maybe explaining it better than I did).

Years ago I worked with a woman who was stunning - blonde, curvy, funny. All the men had their tongues hanging out. And then they were surprised when she turned out to be clever too . I don't know why beautiful women are supposed to be stupid, but there it is.

I was jealous of her for about 2 seconds, and then thought, nah, I'm good.

🌻Such a nice response from @ZebraDanios
🌺For your daughters and you also, @Motheranddaughtertotwo

Thanks @Motheranddaughtertotwo and thanks @AliceOlive!

I regret to admit that I always have a bit of an empathy failure whenever I read about how difficult it is to be beautiful, because I find it really hard to imagine it. But re-reading your post really made me feel for your daughter, @Motheranddaughtertotwo, and I’m really sorry she’s been through so much. Thanks to you and to @AliceOlive for accepting my apology so graciously and for helping me to understand better!

I mean that I don't pout, flirt etc.
I don't want to encourage that sort of dynamic ( if that's the right word) because...well, just because....ick.

Ok, but you recognize that you may be afforded advantages based on your looks regardless of your behavior, right?

Oh yes, definitely.