To think my friend is treating me like her maid

[Grabhands]

For context, this is a friend who I have known for years, haven't seen since before COVID. We booked and are on a 7 day all in beach holiday in the Med.

Meals are buffet service, tea service and cakes etc at certain times from a pool bar and a bar where you can go and get alcoholic drinks etc. At meal times waiters will bring you water for the table and you go to bar for anything else. Bar a few mins walk.

At every single meal we have had since arriving, she tries to send me to the bar to get her a drink, if I am going anyway absolutely fine, otherwise get your own!

She also keeps taking food from my plate to try it, with fingers , and then says can you go and get me some of that.

When I get desert, she gives me a list and asks me to bring back plates of various things.

Tea, she doesn't want to go to bar to get cakes, in case she misses some sun so again even though I don't want anything asks me to go.

I know its petty, and I'm usually easy going but after 3 days I have just said you go, you have legs too, and please stop taking food from my plate.

She is now very offended and huffing and puffing!

Am I being a cow?

Yes I now agree wholeheartedly!

She is still a bit frosty after lunch, I don't want to rock the boat too much, but I am not going to be doing too much running around after her or for her now unless I am going myself

Can't just collect one beach towel, so rude!!!!! Like to though

4 more days! I wouldn’t say much; just play dumb. Easier than a big drama.

It must be to do with her living at home and used to being served. Really annoying! She can take care of herself.

I used to have friends like this.
Used to.

How much longer have you got to go? I'd be totally over it. I'd be taking myself off for some space. The cheek of being annoyed that someone won't wait on you hand and foot!!!

We went away last year with my parents and I was more tired after I came back. DH wasn't long out of hospital so I was doing everything for him, that's fine, but I was doing everything for everyone else as well. Then 2 adults sat there and watched me struggle to get the youngest dd into her buggy.

I was always at the bar for everyone. Getting food for people. Least when we went away again dh was better so I could relax.

My mum also thinks I should be doing all cooking/cleaning/child care because I am female and she does it all for my dad.

I'm interested to know if this was a dynamic in your friendship before. If she was more dominant and assumed priority. Lots of us end up in friendships like this because we judge others by our own standards and assume good intentions.

This scenario reminds me of a would-be-queen-bee I met as part of a new social group I had joined through my boyfriend (now husband). A group of us were sitting in a city park in the sun. She tried to send me to the shop for her. A seemingly casual and friendly request, "Listen, would you do me a massive favour..."
It was so awkward as I pleasantly replied, "Um...noooo?" as if obviously I'm not going to do that. She couldn't believe it. Neither could I really but I felt I had to stand my ground. 25 years later I still smile when I remember her face flushing and people looking away to laugh. She didn't test me again after that.

The only time we did this on holiday was when one of us was helping our dc getting stuff and I grabbed some stuff for dh whilst he was with our child. Same with drinks. She's being massively Unreasonable.

me too!) even if she does live with h re parents it’s still very rude!

Don’t get any more of her food at the buffet! What a cheek she has. When she gives you the list, just either say I think it’s your turn to bring the food or just no, I’m not carrying all that. It’s annoying me how cheeky she’s being and then couldn’t even get you a towel. Don’t get her a towel again!

That sounds like a classic Cathy from Two Doors Down move. I can’t say I’ve ever been sent to the shop by a friend unless I was going there/they were sick etc.

She was frosty with you?! I'd say nothing more. She HEARD the message. It's been received. She doesn't like it. She's probably frosty because she's feeling defensive. And she's probably defensive because she's embarrassed. And embarrassed because there is nothing wrong with her legs and it turns out you weren't born to serve.

She sounds incredibly lazy. I would be tempted to let her sort out all her own food/drinks/beach towels from now on especially as she doesn't reciprocate.

Tell her to get off her own ass and get her own stuff lazy bitch

I would have to say something along the lines of “do you actually do anything for yourself?!”
7 words and it hits home..

We were in a queue somewhere and somebody skipped us. My husband rapped the guy on the shoulder and said 'excuse me, what's special about you that we all have to wait in line but you don't?'.

You should ask her the same 'what's so special about about you that you get to relax and I don't?'

I'm really annoyed for you!

Agree with pp that she is frosty cus she is ashamed

Wow! Frankly I think it's YOUR TURN to be waited on for the next 3 days then the last day take turns, only fair!

I feel for you OP.

How disgusting to be picking stuff off another's plate. Why didn't you just say 1st time "Excuse me, that's very rude....".

As well as with the bar thing, she's stepping over your boundaries.

I would have said the second time she wanted me to fetch her drinks "Haha, are you confusing me with your mother?" therefore keeping it light.

What the heck?

So no more towel for her, no more drinks cakes, etc, for her. She's taking the piss.

Enjoy your holiday and try to meet some other people @Grabhands X

"I actuall can't quite figure out if you're winding me up with all these requests!!! Let's stick to either taking it in turns or just getting our own stuff as I've been to the bar/buffet/towels for you at least x times now and I'm starting to feel like I'm only here as the waitress on your holiday!!!".

If it's said in a jokey way it might get the message across without seeming confrontational.

Thanks, I'm glad I'm not being a petty cow

See if she does it tonight at dinner..

“What did your last slave die of?!” Is a classic response.

Just a pity you waited until day three to stand up to her. By then, she was totally in the groove so it's been a rude awakening for her.

My friend did this to me on a spa weekend. Started every request with "will you spoil me and get me...."

Eventually I asked her if she'd spoil me? She looked completely shocked.

We never went away together again

I can hear my late mum's voice in my head right now, "What did your last slave die of, little lady??"

Of course, I was only 6. But it may work just as well on your friend.