To think my friend is treating me like her maid

[Grabhands]

For context, this is a friend who I have known for years, haven't seen since before COVID. We booked and are on a 7 day all in beach holiday in the Med.

Meals are buffet service, tea service and cakes etc at certain times from a pool bar and a bar where you can go and get alcoholic drinks etc. At meal times waiters will bring you water for the table and you go to bar for anything else. Bar a few mins walk.

At every single meal we have had since arriving, she tries to send me to the bar to get her a drink, if I am going anyway absolutely fine, otherwise get your own!

She also keeps taking food from my plate to try it, with fingers , and then says can you go and get me some of that.

When I get desert, she gives me a list and asks me to bring back plates of various things.

Tea, she doesn't want to go to bar to get cakes, in case she misses some sun so again even though I don't want anything asks me to go.

I know its petty, and I'm usually easy going but after 3 days I have just said you go, you have legs too, and please stop taking food from my plate.

She is now very offended and huffing and puffing!

Am I being a cow?

It's your holiday to relax on as well, shame she has ruined what could have been a really nice catch up.

I ask her what her last slave died of?

Shes a lazy madam

Yanbu x

Does she usually holiday with a husband or partner? I've had that experience in the past where friends in relationships are so used to someone carrying suitcase etc they think that's what your holiday companion is there for!

Jesus what a lazy cow!

Stop doing anything for her.

Get a towel for yourself, not for her.

4! don't want to ruin break, but she is behaving oddly, never been away with her before, so she might always be like this, no idea!

I'm starting to dread going to buffet as I will get a list of what she wants, and if I can carry it I don't mind but its pretty constant!

Apart from the possible anxiety aspect, I think it’s weird also. Is she use to people doing everything for her at home for her?

I think your response was fine, and I like the ‘your turn’ suggestion above. Why does her relaxing break trump your holiday? You’re both there to relax.

Anybody tried to take food from my plate, would get a bloody sharp belt on their hand with my fork. I don't share food with anyone but my family.

No, she has been single for last 5 years or so, so not that !

Just ignore the list. By getting her food, you’re enabling (and encouraging) her actions. If she gives you a list, just reply you can’t carry her and your food. Okay to get a drink if you already going to the bar, but she can carry her own food!

Is she usually lazy/reluctant to move?

It seems so odd. I’d hate to be away with someone like that.

Good point, she moved back in with her parents a few years ago, to save on rent, wonder if its that

She tries to give you a list? “I’ve retired from being a waitress, thanks.”

You need to ignore the list, you are not her staff or a waiter at the buffet, she has two legs that work, she can get her own plate, this is your holiday too, where is your personal slave?

I would have to ask her why she thinks her behaviour is ok, does she think she is doing you a favour being friends or something?

Bless, you’re on holiday with my mother. She tried this shit with me. I direct her to the waitress / queue / rep depending on what she’s wanting

Exactly the same as my mother, you have my sympathies.

That's actually making me cross and I'm not even there! I think I'd probably just say what I thought at this stage and I'd absolutely not be getting anything for her from now on even if I was going to the bar. If she gives you a list laugh and say no. I certainly wouldn't be going on holiday with her again!!! Can you take a bit of time away from her? Go to the gym or for a walk (and sit the other side of the ship) or head off for a swim. She would be doing my head in.

from tomorrow you need to start giving the orders@Grabhands start off in the morning with "please can you grab towels", then sit down at the buffet and give her your order. but important to do this BEFORE she asks you... then when she says no, and asks you to get your own stuff.... then when she asks you again, you can just say... I thought you said we should just get our own stuff. alternatively just repeat this every few hours, so she is on the backfoot.

I voted YABU.

TELL HER to get her own damn drinks and snacks.

I went on holiday with my very good friend of 25years for the first time this year and it was draining.

We get on swimmingly but on holiday in eachothers pockets 24/7 it was hellish.

People are different when you spend all day everyday with them. I wouldn't go again, I was more drained arriving home from the "relaxing break" than I was going.

It's easier going away with all the kids 🤣

If you're going to the buffet and she asks just say "sorry I only have one pair of hands, do your parents normally wait hand & foot on you at home?"

😂 such cheek!

As it happens my parents are the people I would happily do it for no question.

However in their 70's they are pretty quick to rebut any question of anyone waiting on them when away, although all family would be happy to!!

Oh she lives with her parents - does she holiday with them too? It would make sense because she’s acting like she’s an overgrown child and you are her mum.