SpideySenses going off with DH - am I being paranoid?

[EatYourMeat]

I don’t know what it is, just a little niggle in the back of my head that something isn’t right.

1 example is that we’re supposed to be booking a trip to Italy, normally he’d be going over plans, looking up flights etc … but nothing. We’re supposed to going in May, DH has made no effort with booking anything and just kind of nods along when I mention that it needs booking (he does all the bookings, he wouldn’t want me to do it). So why is he stalling? Money isn’t an issue.

Another thing is his work … he works 7am-4pm every day but lately he’s been getting in half hour late. Not massive I know but there always seems to be some last minute meeting or something.

Now today … he’s had next week booked off work for a while. He booked it off without discussing it with me so I’m working. Again this was odd as he was talking about booking a week off in September so we could go away for a few days, obviously that’s off now. So he’s off next week … except tonight he tells me he has to go on a work visit next Wednesday. I said “I thought you were off next week?” And he said “I am, but I have to do this visit. I’ll be out from 7am until 7pm” … again, unusual, especially during a week off.

I don’t want to say anything just yet because maybe I’m being paranoid?

Has he lost his job?

I’d be worried OP. I’d ask him outright if it were me. However it probably is wiser to bide your time and snoop

No, wages still going in and I’ve driven past his work place and car is always there

The May holiday thing isn’t strange, I don’t even know what we’re doing for Oct half term and that’s much sooner! Though I guess it depends what’s normal for you.

If your gut feeling is telling you that something is off then probably it is.

So he has a week off work, but he has a work thing for a whole day?

Weird. Really odd. How has he been treating you recently? Has he been mentioning anyone?

You know your husband, but if I tried to push my DH to book something for next May, he’d look at me as if I were mad.

He’s not mentioned anyone but he’s been really quiet and a bit distant. He says he’s just tired. Treating me fine otherwise though

Maybe he’s sick of doing all the bookings?
Maybe he doesn’t want to go?

Why don’t you just ask him?

Why can’t you ask him where he’s going on Wednesday and why it’s during his annual leave?

Agree this behaviour is well off.

Yeah, my spidey senses would be tingling and I'd try to find out what he was up to on his "workday/day off" because it sure as hell isn't work"!

Is he depressed? Work getting too much?

Maybe he took a week off for a break from work stress but has to go in for a full day as it's too much.

I'd be thinking that rather than an affair

Sounds like one of two things for me:
Work is in trouble - redundancies, administrators or something major
Affair - actual or potential

Your options are pretty much snoop or ask.

Tell him you have the Wednesday off so will travel to his meeting with him.

Is he unwell? Maybe a hospital appointment next week and he will need time to recover?
Tbh though if you feel something is wrong then you know your husband better than anyway. Could you take next Wed off and follow him? Or get someone else to follow him?

Ask him if he's feeling ok just incase it is depression/ mid life. You just never know.

Don't mention specifics or accuse him of anything. If something is going on with another woman he can't know that you suspect. Wait it out and if he is up to no good , he WILL slip up. Enough rope and all that

Booking a whole week off without you is a bit strange, IMO. Going on a work trip for a day during his week off is definitely strange.

If your gut is telling you something is off, it’s worth investigating further.

It is odd.

Don't just ask him, obviously. If it is a nice romantic day out with someone else he's hardly going to tell you.

Where is the "visit"?

Not too sure, but always trust your gut....

Ask if he's shagging someone at work haha! And then watch his reaction to your "joke" carefully

Your spidery senses are adding all these irregularities together so I would listen to them.

Whats he like with his phone? Can you leave yours upstairs, (or say itsflat), and ask to borrow his to check the weather, what’s on tv, make a phone call etc? Has he been secretive at all, or carrying it everywhere?

Maybe ask some general questions about his ‘work visitWhere it is? What’s the training about etc? See how easily he answers? And what he says? Ie. Whether he’s bluffing an answer or it seems genuine.

Something is going on by the sounds of it. Find out where this supposed work meeting is and then I'd probably buy a car tracker and follow him and find out for myself where he goes.

Ok so I started asking questions about this work visit and he said “it’s easier to just show you” and passed me his phone, open on an email detailing the trip, full schedule and attendees.

Maybe I am being paranoid 😬