SpideySenses going off with DH - am I being paranoid?

[EatYourMeat]

I don’t know what it is, just a little niggle in the back of my head that something isn’t right.

1 example is that we’re supposed to be booking a trip to Italy, normally he’d be going over plans, looking up flights etc … but nothing. We’re supposed to going in May, DH has made no effort with booking anything and just kind of nods along when I mention that it needs booking (he does all the bookings, he wouldn’t want me to do it). So why is he stalling? Money isn’t an issue.

Another thing is his work … he works 7am-4pm every day but lately he’s been getting in half hour late. Not massive I know but there always seems to be some last minute meeting or something.

Now today … he’s had next week booked off work for a while. He booked it off without discussing it with me so I’m working. Again this was odd as he was talking about booking a week off in September so we could go away for a few days, obviously that’s off now. So he’s off next week … except tonight he tells me he has to go on a work visit next Wednesday. I said “I thought you were off next week?” And he said “I am, but I have to do this visit. I’ll be out from 7am until 7pm” … again, unusual, especially during a week off.

I don’t want to say anything just yet because maybe I’m being paranoid?

All sounds normal behaviour within our relationship too.

Oh will often book holidays from work and not let me know.
His work finishes at 5.30, a 20 minute drive away- he is rarely home before 7pm.

Even I wouldn't be thinking about booking travel plans this early for next May.

More likely people don't remember the times they thought something might be wrong and it turned out to be nothing, in the same way they do when their half suspicion is proved right.
And the "awry" thing is still most likely to be stressed by something at work.

All OP can say is
-he won't organise things for a holiday 9 months away (and he's now said he's ready to)
-he books a week off work
-he goes to an important work meeting during a week off - and shows her proof the meeting exists
-he's about 30 minutes late home (which might due to the vagaries of traffic patterns means he's working 15 minutes late and taking 15 minutes longer to get home due to the time he then leaves)

Hardly conclusive proof of acting strangely???

Yes, and the next thing he will do is actually attend the meeting, and really put OP off the scent.
What a lying cheating scumbag.

A couple of things occur to me; The meeting - we haven’t been told much about the DH’s work or industry; Isn’t possible the boss said “You can have the rest of the week but you’ve got to be there for the big sales launch/quarterly evaluation/forward planning?” or whatever? Or just maybe the DH takes his job seriously enough that he thinks he shouldn’t miss it?
Also re the holiday - May is a long way off and, if he had had his head turned by an OW wouldn’t he be focusing on her and off-loading the chore of booking onto OP rather than saying he will book?

@Maryjaneslastdance I actulay didn’t mean a tracker I ment a listening device .

You don’t just get up one day and decide your husband is cheating there are reasons . So you go find out for yourself . After all
Most people who do this on MN uncover the sad but real truth of the DH being up to no good .

Rather than thinking the worst ie an affair, can you ask after his general health. Is he feeling ok, is he tired of the grind and needs some down time before going on holiday with you?

Really just sounds overtired. Maybe prepare a nice surprise
meal before he leaves? Slip a little card into his case?

Bet he uses days off to prepare Italy trip - we've all felt like this.

I actulay didn’t mean a tracker I ment a listening device .

Oh, that's OK then.

@DrSbaitso no neither is cheating so what’s ok goes right out of the window .

This whole post has turned around everything is ok now . He’s not cheating the OP just got up one morning and thought he was, and asked MN for advice . How dare we say anything remotely linked to cheating. Honestly

This in itself is suspicious.
It's as if he purposely set this email up to throw you off guard.

"Easier to just show you" really?

Easier just to speak, surely?

I concur that spidey senses are not woo at all, just picking up on subconscious clues.

If it wasn't for this showing you this email, I'd say not to worry but he did so I say do.

I agree with this. It was too easy. It was a pre-planned alibi.

With you saying that you pick up your GC, could he just be tired? How old is he?

i think the fact he has showed you the details of the work trip is enough to put your fears at rest. I have been in a relationship with a controlling man who was obsessed with the idea that I was cheating and some of these responses make me feel really uneasy. It’s not normal behaviour to follow your partner to work events, put a tracker on his car or interfere with his phone based on a couple of unsubstantiated suspicions..

Some amount of fucking headcases on this forum.

Nobody's said you can't say anything linked to cheating. PP (and me) are saying just because you suspect it, its absolutely NOT ok to commit stalking offences! A listening device is just as illegal as a tracker btw. Whats your excuse going to be when the police come knocking? It's ok officer. I thought he was cheating.

Seriously give your head a wobble. If it were men suggesting doing the same you'd be absolutely frothing at the mouth with rage.

Also, in some cases, doesn’t it take one to know one?!

Are you fucking for real.

Seriously, there are some barmy women on this thread.
The OPs husband has proof of the scheduled meeting and now people think it was a set up 😂
Some posters on here are so desperate to make the OP think her husband is cheating. I agree with PP egging her on, trying to rile the OP up.

Just leave it for Christ sake. OPs said it's been resolved. They're booking Italy and the meeting has been confirmed. Will all you men hating lot calm the hell down!

Why would he book a week off and then plop a suspicious looking all-day meeting right in the middle of it as an ‚alibi‘?
He could have just booked that one day off without telling his wife and and she‘d assumed he’s at work.

Well, it's how I got total, UNADULTERATED PROOF, after dismissing my gut feelings, asking outright, crying and begging for truth, checking his phone, (he had a second one of course) that I could confront him with.

WHAT A FEELING to know I wasn't going crazy!!

It’s also illegal but you do you luv.

You knew the relationship was over once you started bugging your husband.

And if it turned out there was nothing to hear?
I'd have divorced you if I was your DH for bugging me without my knowledge. So it was an entirely unnecessary exercise as your relationship was already doomed.

Girl you posted about this the other day under a different name....

I would be a bit concerned about his MH if this is out of the ordinary but if he’s got a week off then maybe he just needs that down time by himself.

@stitchinguru yes I also thought it was too much detail, like people tend to give when they are lying. People I have worked with in the past have said they are going to meetings and have not actually attended (so they can do whatever). Spidey sense to me is intuition and you get a feeling when something isn't right. I would keep checking but be aware of confirmation biases