To not buy her new trainers?

[Grealish]

My DD (12) got new trainers in March for school PE. We got her a pair of Skechers because they’re comfy and she’s never had any interest in fashion or trends. Well now she’s starting secondary school in a week and she’s told me that these shoes will not do. They’re still in perfect condition, and still fit her perfectly. She’s shown me the shoes she wants and that everyone apparently has and I told her that we will get her shoes like that when she out grows these ones or she wears them out/they get ruined.

Well I should not have said that because we came down this morning and her shoes had been cut up. She claims it was the dog. It’s mad how dogs can chew exactly like scissors! Told her we’d have to get rid of the dog if he was chewing things, trying to make her fess up but didn’t work haha.

Anyways I just want to know what you would do in this scenario. She needs trainers for PE and she plans to do Basketball after school so she can’t not have trainers. I’m tempted to buy her the same shoes again but that seems like a waste. The shoes she wants are the same price but that feels like rewarding her for destroying her runners. She gets €10 a week pocket money for doing bits around the house, so I could buy the ones she wants and say it comes out of her pocket money for the next 8 weeks or so. Ahhh I just don’t know what’s the answer in this scenario. Not sure what the balance is between teaching a lesson and not being a bitch.

Well done, OP.

Good for you. Be different but don't force your child to be when she desperately asks you NOT to wear a certain shoe. If she doesn't care about said shoe and insists on going on with them on...more power to her elbow.
This post is about a child so upset at wearing Skechers that she destroyed them rather than wearing them, that is desperation. HUGE difference.

Sorry but the poor kids prob scared of getting picked on.
Sketchers are for 60+ imo no kids should be wearing sketchers.

My kids absolutely would not be starting school in September at any school year ESPECIALLY high school without brand new trainers no way at all. Maybe that's just me and where im from but I don't know anyone else who wouldn't be the same.

New everything for September & always a pair of school trainers & a pair of home trainers.

I seen that pair, didn’t think they looked old lady ish? Maybe I’m just old myself now though it that’s what I think is okay 😂

Here’s a picture of sketchers beside airforce 1s, they don’t even look that different. People need to give their head a wobble

Huge difference, they say bloody Skechers.

Such a clueless post

I'd be annoyed at a perfectly decent pair of shoes being cut up - skechers might not be fashionable but they're not cheap either and are usually of decent quality to be passed/sold on elsewhere.

I don't think there's much rhyme or reason as to what passes as fashionable in some schools these day. My dd (albeit going into y11) refuses new uniform and up til recently (when the waistband fell off) was still wearing the same skirt as she did in y7. She also refuses to wear nice trainers for PE and wears a beat up pair of air forces, won't let me buy anything new for PE. Kids get bullied for looking 'too new' as it gives off an air of caring too much. Whereas it's the opposite in other schools.

There must be an age limit where lights and flames are no longer promoters and Skechers are tragic. I hope someone tells me it in good time!

@Bandyarsia
sorry, I don’t see it. Practically the same shoe without the swoosh. Hilarious that a brand label makes all the difference

I told her that we will get her shoes like that when she out grows these ones or she wears them out/they get ruined.

Maybe it's just me, but when I read that I just knew what I would have done in DD's place: exactly what she did.

Take it as a learning point for you snd don't make that mistake again. Meanwhile, buy her the new shoes, the ones she wants. Starting secondary school is an important milestone, she deserves all the help she can get.

Not hilarious for the kid wearing them unfortunately.

Nothing wrong with them but kids want to fit in. All air force 1s around here

I think there's a balance. Some kids can't wear the really cool stuff if they are not cool. Depends on the friendship group and school too. Adidas or Nike should be fine, sketchers are ok in primary but then so are Clarks!

@Grealish any chance you can let us all know what the trendy tween trainer of choice is?

I really like my sketchers 😂

I also have a birthmark on my face (port wine stain) and interestingly nobody at school ever commented. What I do remember is being desperate for a pair of K Swiss trainers and a Morgan bag (probably dating myself horribly there) and my mum insisting on BHS own brand. In the end I got my K Swiss trainers and I still remember how confident it made me feel. It's so important to fit in at that age, I'm glad you had that chat with her OP. You sounds like a nice mum.

New Balance apparently! I’d quite like a pair myself but every pair I pointed out on the website she groaned and informed me I was picking the ugly ones 😂

I'm sorry, but I did chuckle at the perfectly cut up trainers that were blamed on the dog
I'd go gently this time, but only because she has just started at high school. I work in one and know what it can be like and sorry but our girls wouldn't be seen dead in Skechers

So kids should get their confidence from clothing rather than from within/ their achievements? Not exactly a great message to teach them.

Honestly shocked at how many mums think it's vital to have them wearing whatever is fashionable/ popular to fit in. They'll grow up to be the adults desperate to keep up with the Jones' and looking down on those who can't/ don't fit in. You're just teaching them to conform and be sheep.

I thank God I wasn't brought up to be so superficial.

I really rate New Balance running shoes, so can't argue with her there.

Also, one last reply before I leave this to rest just because some of the replies on this thread have made me feel like a truly rubbish mum. I completely understand & remember how important fitting in is at that age, hence why I forked out a small fortune on the school shoes she wanted and the bag she wanted, didn’t think she’d need new trainers as the ones she had were worn max 10 times. I get completely why she wouldn’t want the shoes she liked in primary school for secondary, my upset was with the fact she destroyed them. I grew up as the youngest of 6 and all my shoes were hand me downs and often got stuck with my brothers old shoes that had already gone through two or three kids. Would’ve been delighted with a new pair of Skechers, so hate to thing I’m raising her to not see the value in things like this.
Feel a bit rubbish after reading some of this thread.

I would have brought her new ones anyway she is way to young for sketchers bless her and of course she wants to fit in at a new school.

I do t think you should feel rubbish at all. She did something wrong and there were consequences. She didn’t need new trainers and your handling of the fall out seems very measured and loving. Hopefully it’s sorted and you can all move on.

Sketchers are major social suicide for teens

She destroyed them because in her eyes her hand was forced and it seemed the only way you'd understand how important it was for her to not wear them

They all wear Nike Air force 1 but they are a fantastic show that last for ages and are actually comfortable and hood for their feet

My DS has no interest in fashion but I make sure he has his Air Force ones etc and a neutral non embarrassing wardrobe so he doesn't get unnecessarily bullied etc