To not buy her new trainers?

[Grealish]

My DD (12) got new trainers in March for school PE. We got her a pair of Skechers because they’re comfy and she’s never had any interest in fashion or trends. Well now she’s starting secondary school in a week and she’s told me that these shoes will not do. They’re still in perfect condition, and still fit her perfectly. She’s shown me the shoes she wants and that everyone apparently has and I told her that we will get her shoes like that when she out grows these ones or she wears them out/they get ruined.

Well I should not have said that because we came down this morning and her shoes had been cut up. She claims it was the dog. It’s mad how dogs can chew exactly like scissors! Told her we’d have to get rid of the dog if he was chewing things, trying to make her fess up but didn’t work haha.

Anyways I just want to know what you would do in this scenario. She needs trainers for PE and she plans to do Basketball after school so she can’t not have trainers. I’m tempted to buy her the same shoes again but that seems like a waste. The shoes she wants are the same price but that feels like rewarding her for destroying her runners. She gets €10 a week pocket money for doing bits around the house, so I could buy the ones she wants and say it comes out of her pocket money for the next 8 weeks or so. Ahhh I just don’t know what’s the answer in this scenario. Not sure what the balance is between teaching a lesson and not being a bitch.

Yes it would be social suicide.

i was that 12 year old and i had the shit kicked out of me and fun made of me every day for the whole of my life at secondary school and by fuck I would not ever put another child through that.

It drove me to self harm and suicide attempts. So yes. Social suicide - with actual consequences.

Kids being a dick about it is just one aspect of this.

I was never bullied. It's how I felt that gives me an insight in to why a young girl might go to those lengths to get different trainers.

It's not giving in to bullies.

I'm in my 60s and wouldn't be seen dead in them.

That said, since she lied and tried to blame it on the dog, I'd be tempted to buy her another pair of Skechers or if she wants something else, she has to buy it out of her own earnings.

My DS15 went through the most horrendous experience of bullying, to the extent the police were involved and the bully was suspended. He was threatened with a knife. A pair of fancy trainers wouldn’t have solved the problem, it was his autistic traits the bully had an issue with. I couldn’t just buy him a new personality though so we had to find other ways to work through the ordeal.

Those are much wider issues than a pair of trainers and it's naive to think that just buying the fashionable pair will solve everything and prevent all bullying.

I don't remember ever having fashionable trainers and I wasn't bullied.

I did get called names because of a birthmark on my face. That's not something you can remove or make more fashionable.

What do you suggest the kids with birthmarks or other visual differences do about bullies? A pair of Adidas isn't going to solve it for them

To be honest, you've probably got a few more important battles ahead.

Assuming you can afford it,I would just buy her the Nikes or whatever, but put some sort of punishment in there like she pays half.

I know this isn't morally the right answer, but there are more important things in life.

Oi! I’m over 50 and no way would I wear Skechers!

@Lonzdale34 I am sorry you were bullied.

Of course children should be taught not to bully - I never said that the bullies were right.

But as someone who was made miserable every day because of the wrong clothes, I made sure that my kids got the fashionable stuff they wanted as much as I could.

My mum wears them. She is 84.
Just get her the right trainers. Forget about her paying you back.

@outsurance all bullying is wrong andvits awful what you went through but I just think it's sad to teach kids that they should wear certain brands to fit in and avoid being different. I thought those days were over and people could just be themselves but I guess it will always be this way

DS loves Skechers, he's 10 and one of the 'cool kids'. No doubt he'll change his opinion when he goes to high school. Then again maybe he'll be the one others copy

I’m really surprised at the number of people on this thread saying they wouldn’t wear them for sport as I’ve been happily running around 20 miles a week in them but I think I might get some new trainers now!

So am I but I meant that stupid ad for leaving enough for your funeral. Knowing me my kids will think it is funny to PUT me in a pair of skechers in my coffin! I will come back and haunt them.

@Bandyarsia 😂😂😂😂 that is so true. The advert where Jamie redknapp is wearing them… I’ve not seen him on one program wearing them.

I very much doubt your son will be wearing Skechers in high school and if he does NOBODY will be copying him no matter how cool you think he is.

Ha ha me neither. Mortified for him!

We could’ve donated those shoes to the charity shop, feels like such a waste of a lovely pair of shoes.

Well yes, but you were the one that removed that option when you told her that she couldn’t have new ones until she outgrew them or wore them out. The only person to be upset with for that is yourself. You could have donated them and gotten her ones that wouldn’t get her mocked/bullied.

And it’s not really slander; the only adverts I recall seeing for Skechers have all been heavily aimed towards older/elderly people. My grandmother liked them and wore them a great deal from about age 84 to 90 and then got rid of all of them. When I asked why she said “I don’t have enough time left to wear ugly shoes no matter how comfortable they are” and showed me the new Nikes she’d gotten. 😂

Yep, easy to see where the school bullies get their attitude.

Make her pay half for purposely destroying hers.
But i see her point. Sketchers in seniors.. That's one way to get the piss take out of you.
Its all Dunks, Air Force etc.

Not even my primary dsc will wear sketchers

I'd wear Skechers and happily do however I have an almost 16 year old that absolutely would not.
It's the high school thing, she's worried about fitting in and high school kids can be cruel, I agree with others, buy the trainers but deduct from her pocket money or have her do extra jobs for them.
My dd wanted a pair of Nike Air Jordan's, she got them but my car and her bedroom had never looked so clean while she earned them

Well now it’ll at least be a comfortable stride 😊

I reckon all of the people who say that this stuff shouldn’t matter to kids always had the “right” stuff and never got the shame.

fyi she has nice trainers that she wears on a day to day basis (Nike Air Force and Converse). She just needs more sporty shoes for PE! Some of these replies are acting like I’m forcing her to wear Skechers and old lady outfits every day! She chose the Skechers!!

That's just life. Kids will jeer shit shoes and there are shit kids everywhere which is why I would buy my own kids decent trainers so THEY feel they fit it with what the others are wearing AND to give the arseholes one less thing to slag them over. God knows they will find other reasons but geriatric, spongy, old age pension shoes won't be one of them.

No harm to you but he's 10.

I march when it didn't matter, now it matters and you didn't listen.