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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not buy her new trainers?

352 replies

Grealish · 23/08/2023 15:08

My DD (12) got new trainers in March for school PE. We got her a pair of Skechers because they’re comfy and she’s never had any interest in fashion or trends. Well now she’s starting secondary school in a week and she’s told me that these shoes will not do. They’re still in perfect condition, and still fit her perfectly. She’s shown me the shoes she wants and that everyone apparently has and I told her that we will get her shoes like that when she out grows these ones or she wears them out/they get ruined.

Well I should not have said that because we came down this morning and her shoes had been cut up. She claims it was the dog. It’s mad how dogs can chew exactly like scissors! Told her we’d have to get rid of the dog if he was chewing things, trying to make her fess up but didn’t work haha.

Anyways I just want to know what you would do in this scenario. She needs trainers for PE and she plans to do Basketball after school so she can’t not have trainers. I’m tempted to buy her the same shoes again but that seems like a waste. The shoes she wants are the same price but that feels like rewarding her for destroying her runners. She gets €10 a week pocket money for doing bits around the house, so I could buy the ones she wants and say it comes out of her pocket money for the next 8 weeks or so. Ahhh I just don’t know what’s the answer in this scenario. Not sure what the balance is between teaching a lesson and not being a bitch.

OP posts:
IamSallyBowles · 23/08/2023 22:27

I am clearly a hard Mum because if my kid did that, I'd be replacing with cheap supermarket trainers or a pair of PE shoes.

outsurance · 23/08/2023 22:31

Sketchers aren't suitable sports shoes for PE.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/08/2023 22:34

NoraLuka · 23/08/2023 22:07

I’m really surprised at the number of people on this thread saying they wouldn’t wear them for sport as I’ve been happily running around 20 miles a week in them but I think I might get some new trainers now!

They really are too spongy and unsupportive for running!

moistclam · 23/08/2023 22:35

People in this thread: Schools are full of nasty bullies.

Also people in this thread: omg you "made" your daughter wear skechers, you are the literal devil, she'll be so uncool!!

Is it any wonder why bullies exist with parents like these?

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 22:41

moistclam · 23/08/2023 22:35

People in this thread: Schools are full of nasty bullies.

Also people in this thread: omg you "made" your daughter wear skechers, you are the literal devil, she'll be so uncool!!

Is it any wonder why bullies exist with parents like these?

I think you will find a lot of the people who commented had first hand experience with what happens when you wear shit clothes to school.

But carry on calling us bullies who raised bullies if it makes you feel better.

Skechers are still shit. If you got a rocket to the moon and looked at them from there they would still be shit. They do NOT belong on the feet of a 12 year old making a huge transition into secondary school.

In fairness they don't belong on anyone but your Aunt Maud in the care home who loves telling you about her "helps me septic bunions" spongy shoes. Even the old blind man that sits beside Aunt Maud listening to The Archers thinks they are shit but her never says...coz he was brought up right ya see.

miniegg3 · 23/08/2023 22:46

Mumoftwoboysaged4and5 · 23/08/2023 15:27

Err can someone explain what is wrong with sketchers? - I thought they were a fairly fashionable brand. I’m 35 though so maybe I’ve been living under a trainer absent rock 😂

I love my sketchers 😂 they were the in thing when I was young.. although I suppose that was a long time ago now 😂

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2023 22:58

My last child of 4 left school this year and none of them have been bullied for their shoes. If they were the parents would expect school to correct the behaviour because like most schools we have a huge range of household incomes and fashion awareness. I’m amazed anyone would be feeding these ideas by buying the cool trainers. Jeez do the parenting guys.

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:01

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2023 22:58

My last child of 4 left school this year and none of them have been bullied for their shoes. If they were the parents would expect school to correct the behaviour because like most schools we have a huge range of household incomes and fashion awareness. I’m amazed anyone would be feeding these ideas by buying the cool trainers. Jeez do the parenting guys.

And it really is that simple.......why didn't I and and half this thread think of that! Contact the school about kids making fun of my kid's shit shoes! Genius!

moistclam · 23/08/2023 23:02

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 22:41

I think you will find a lot of the people who commented had first hand experience with what happens when you wear shit clothes to school.

But carry on calling us bullies who raised bullies if it makes you feel better.

Skechers are still shit. If you got a rocket to the moon and looked at them from there they would still be shit. They do NOT belong on the feet of a 12 year old making a huge transition into secondary school.

In fairness they don't belong on anyone but your Aunt Maud in the care home who loves telling you about her "helps me septic bunions" spongy shoes. Even the old blind man that sits beside Aunt Maud listening to The Archers thinks they are shit but her never says...coz he was brought up right ya see.

And still you want to perpetuate the same behaviour you claim to have suffered? Be the bigger person - teach your children NOT to conform to the same stupid ideals that you had to! Change will only happen when we as parents show our children that there are better ways to respond to bullying than giving in and "fitting in".

Grealish · 23/08/2023 23:03

We’ve decided that we will go shoe shopping this weekend. She apologised for doing it, she explained why she did it and we had a bit of a laugh about her trying to say it was the dog. We had a chat about how wearing the newest clothes/shoes etc doesn’t matter (hate to think of her being mean to some other poor sod whose mum didn’t see a problem with Skechers!!!) but that I understand why she thinks it’s important. She has enough money saved up from pocket money and cash from relatives visiting recently to pay for just under half of the shoes she wants and we’ve agreed to pay the rest. All is good folks, thanks for the help

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2023 23:04

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:01

And it really is that simple.......why didn't I and and half this thread think of that! Contact the school about kids making fun of my kid's shit shoes! Genius!

Edited

Yes it really is, but you have to be brave and do the right thing not the easy thing.

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:05

moistclam · 23/08/2023 23:02

And still you want to perpetuate the same behaviour you claim to have suffered? Be the bigger person - teach your children NOT to conform to the same stupid ideals that you had to! Change will only happen when we as parents show our children that there are better ways to respond to bullying than giving in and "fitting in".

COP on!!!!!!! if you send your child into school in shit shoes some little bleeder is going to make their life a misery.

Don't give in Sean! Wear your Skechers with pride! You don't have to fit in on your first day of high school! Here! Wear these shit shoes!

Give me strength. The child WANTS the same kind of shoes that EVERYONE else is wearing. Not POXY Skechers!

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:06

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2023 23:04

Yes it really is, but you have to be brave and do the right thing not the easy thing.

Tell that to a scared, vulnerable kid starting high school.

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:06

Grealish · 23/08/2023 23:03

We’ve decided that we will go shoe shopping this weekend. She apologised for doing it, she explained why she did it and we had a bit of a laugh about her trying to say it was the dog. We had a chat about how wearing the newest clothes/shoes etc doesn’t matter (hate to think of her being mean to some other poor sod whose mum didn’t see a problem with Skechers!!!) but that I understand why she thinks it’s important. She has enough money saved up from pocket money and cash from relatives visiting recently to pay for just under half of the shoes she wants and we’ve agreed to pay the rest. All is good folks, thanks for the help

Great result!

moistclam · 23/08/2023 23:07

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:05

COP on!!!!!!! if you send your child into school in shit shoes some little bleeder is going to make their life a misery.

Don't give in Sean! Wear your Skechers with pride! You don't have to fit in on your first day of high school! Here! Wear these shit shoes!

Give me strength. The child WANTS the same kind of shoes that EVERYONE else is wearing. Not POXY Skechers!

Whatever, I'm not even going to engage with you any further as your constant use of "shit shoes" just goes to prove that you are EXACTLY the kind of parent who raises a bully. Bye now 👋

ReadTheFiles · 23/08/2023 23:08

Coolblur · 23/08/2023 22:03

DS loves Skechers, he's 10 and one of the 'cool kids'. No doubt he'll change his opinion when he goes to high school. Then again maybe he'll be the one others copy

Is he your first child? I’m sure he’s lovely but he’s extremely unlikely to be the person who makes sketchers cool again

ReadTheFiles · 23/08/2023 23:09

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:05

COP on!!!!!!! if you send your child into school in shit shoes some little bleeder is going to make their life a misery.

Don't give in Sean! Wear your Skechers with pride! You don't have to fit in on your first day of high school! Here! Wear these shit shoes!

Give me strength. The child WANTS the same kind of shoes that EVERYONE else is wearing. Not POXY Skechers!

The mum in “about a boy” 😂

OnionBhajis · 23/08/2023 23:10

Well done OP!!!

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:12

moistclam · 23/08/2023 23:07

Whatever, I'm not even going to engage with you any further as your constant use of "shit shoes" just goes to prove that you are EXACTLY the kind of parent who raises a bully. Bye now 👋

Ha ha off you trot in your cool skechers!

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2023 23:13

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:06

Tell that to a scared, vulnerable kid starting high school.

I wonder if you even realise what your “conform or be bullied” attitude says to a child?

As I said this absolutely would be dealt with by school if you raised it.

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:13

ReadTheFiles · 23/08/2023 23:09

The mum in “about a boy” 😂

I woke my husband laughing at that ha ha 😂

JellyComb · 23/08/2023 23:14

Omg just get her the trainers she would
Like. What's the problem? She just wants to fit in and perhaps be popular/accepted. I don't get why parents would stand in the way of this.

Bandyarsia · 23/08/2023 23:14

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2023 23:13

I wonder if you even realise what your “conform or be bullied” attitude says to a child?

As I said this absolutely would be dealt with by school if you raised it.

No it wouldn't and it would make things worse for reporting it. Is your second name Walton?

milknbean · 23/08/2023 23:17

Awww. That's reminded me my DD used to love her Skechers with diamanté light up bits.

Til she was about 4.

Shes 13 now and wouldn't go anywhere near Skechers these days.

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2023 23:17

@Bandyarsia from your posts I’m guessing you enjoy bullying and putting people down. Perhaps that’s why you want to feed the situation rather than address it? It’s ok for us to be different, I’m really comfortable with that.