To not let my dad know how much money it is??

[Relunctanto]

Have come into a life changing amount of money. After much thought we are going to put money away for the kids, make sure ddad is comfortable, just a sensible amount, and open a foundation with the rest and give as much away as possible to causes important to us.

We had to tell my dad because it's obvious that we have $$ as we're paying off the house, may move and I'm leaving my job to run the Foundation, and will be hiring staff etc. Plus I'd like to make sure he has a monthly income from it.

But we didn't say how much as he is an absolute blabbermouth! He can't help himself, always wants to know how much things cost, where they're from etc and tells everyone. He's an open book. Talks to everyone.

He livid that I won;t tell him the amount. Keeps making guesses, brings it up in every convo. Is irate that I told Dsis ( Because I want her to join the running of the Foundation so had to reassure her it will run for generations if managed properly and worth leaving her very good career for).

It's causing massive friction. Ironically the reason we're keeping it so private is money does cause problems and I have no intention of having anyone outside of a handful of people know.

YABU - swear him to secrecy, tell him he can tell NO-ONE the amounts involved. He'll understand the importance.

YANBU - He's not going to change now, he'll let it slip then our relationship will deffo be worse off.

@Relunctanto firstly congratulations on your windfall, I hope you thoroughly enjoy it and I just want to say I think your wonderful for making a foundation and thinking of others. When my little boy was diagnosed with cancer it's thanks to foundations that we got the support and help we needed. As for your dad id probably just tell him it's an amount that you'd be happy with 'everyone' knowing that you won. (my dad's a lovely man but an over sharer too bless them) x

You could tell him on the basis he signs a legally binding confidentiality agreement where he isn't allowed to tell anyone else the figure. It's a bit embarrassing for him to say his own DD doesn't trust him not to tell. It'll be easier for him to tell friends he's signed a confidentiality agreement so can't mention the exact figure.

Quite surprised he’s not just grateful! And quite surprised you haven’t told him that the offer is retracted if he keeps going on about it. Talk about throwing a gift in your face.

I agree with purplecorkheart. Your dad won’t be able to help himself disclosing the sum. I think I’d say something like ‘I love you dearly dad and I know you have the best intentions and delighted for us but you’d let it slip, and we want anonymity and to secure all our futures without it becoming the burden and of sackfuls of begging letters.

Congratulations OP. How exciting for you. Why don’t you tell your Dad that it was a ridiculous amount of money, E.g 800 million (or a lot more than what you got) that way if anyone asks you about it, you can just say “I wish we had that much money”

This sounds absolutely fantastic. Congratulations!!! So great to hear good news for a change.

Dont tell him. The fact he wont let his needing to know drop, is a bit concerning.

Hes bound to tell someone, even accidentally.. and really, what difference does the actual figure make to him?

I think the point here is there's no need for him to know so don't tell him. If he continues to badger you tell him you will withdraw his allowance.

OP are you the NHS nurse that won £6.4 million a few months ago?

Honestly, anyone who sulks after you have set them up for life would get a rollocking from me! Wishing you all the best with the foundation OP, sounds like you've thought long and hard about it.

Do you actually think she would tell you if she were?

Wow, sounds like an amazing thing you're doing op! Hope the foundation goes well for you!
I'd give your dad a figure that would satisfy his curiosity and swear him to secrecy. Does he need to know that you'll be funding it all? Can you say you're working with someone else who's funding it too so that he doesn't realise the extent of it? (No idea if this is possible btw, just an idea). Good luck with it all!

Whaaat
this threads a corker

Is that enough to start a foundation and run it for generations, give most away and still live really comfortably? I’m not sure it is..

Tell him a fake number and see if he blabs… when he inevitably does, tell him
you'd never tell him the real amount because he’s just proven he can’t be trusted.

But they will get begging letters whether they tell the dad the exact sum or not!

The OP has already made it fairly public by quitting her job, getting her sister to quit her job, setting up a foundation which they will both work for, and by telling her blabbermouth dad anything at all.

Everyone who knows her will be able to twig that she is loaded now, and they'll be able to look the foundation up to confirm it. They won't need exact numbers from her dad.

Surely once you open your foundation, he’ll just go on charity commission website and look at your accounts? That’s what I’d do anyway if I was that nosey.

No, that's me

Does anyone honestly think that, if people know someone has come into money, they refrain from sending begging letters etc until they know the exact amount that person has won/inherited?

Because they do not. Even if the dad says nothing at all, the OP has made it obvious to anyone with a brain that she's come into money, and she will get the hassle that comes with that. If this is even half true, all the bleating about being anonymous and private is deluded.

Surely he’ll find out from Companies House once he has the name?

Congratulations OP. I think you need to take solid financial advice though. In the nicest possible way, if you can't manage your own Father you are at risk of being spectacularly ripped off. Good Luck and I genuinely hope it brings you happiness and doesn't cause family rifts.

Feel free to burden me with your wealth OP. I promise I will not ask you the amount. 😉

I haven't RTFT, but wondering if your family are set up against possible kidnap and ransom attempts, and could DDad compromise this?

Why does he have to know? Just sit him down & tell him look I’m never going to tell you the amount so please just drop it ok end of; we are looking ar free you so your comfortable in your later years so please dad let’s drop eh?
if he carries on cut his allowance until he does shut up; he’s acting like a petulant teen

Maybe time to do a Wagatha Christie and tell each of your close family a different (fake) amount, so if it is leaked, you know who by?