Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not allow dm aged 88 to my house

131 replies

Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 09:39

she used to drive but no longer drives
i now drive to her house to see her
recently she came to my house, via bus, however when i was looking for some dry clothes, we got caught in the rain, she was snooping through my medications

i find that totally out of order,
i appreciate curiosity can get the better, if a letter is open on table it is hard to resist, but to actually lift things up to look is out of order
i would rather not know about my ds financial affairs for instance and if a letter was left open i would not look

OP posts:
KinooOrKinog · 21/08/2023 09:44

Good grief, she's your mum. Just ask her not to do it.

Original poster
Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 09:45

bit late now
and i am obviously an ostrich

OP posts:
Quisquam · 21/08/2023 09:46

Why didn’t you just ask her what she was doing? She might have been looking for paracetamol for a headache, for all you know?

Old people do odd things. I was at MIL’s house, once doing a cooked breakfast for us all. She had 4 rings on her cooker, and I was using all of them. She told me I couldn’t use the biggest one, as that was for the chip pan - even though I was not cooking chips! She coped with life, by being very rigid in her thinking, and living in a routine. To me, it was bonkers, but I didn’t say I’d never go to her house again!

I find your reaction completely OTT.

HorsePlatitudes · 21/08/2023 09:48

Christ she’s 88, give her a break.

TheAOEAztec · 21/08/2023 09:49

Oooh this will be fun (before deleted) going by the OP's reply

tttigress · 21/08/2023 09:49

I think you are being pretty mean, she is your mom after all, no one is perfect.

Original poster
Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 09:50

why will it be deleted?
gosh
never mind,
she is 88 give her a break?

OP posts:
AuroraForever · 21/08/2023 09:50

You’re being ridiculous.

Original poster
Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 09:50

hey i will still go to visit her

OP posts:
Seeline · 21/08/2023 09:51

What do you mean by snooping?
Were they out on the worktop or in a cabinet or stuffed in with your undies?
If it's one of the first two she could just have knocked something over and was trying to correct, or looking for a painkiller. Last one, fair enough.
But ban her from your house? Surely you just say Mum, stop snooping and leave my stuff alone!

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 21/08/2023 09:51

Just ask her not to do it. Banning her from visiting seems pretty harsh.

Original poster
Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 09:52

she wouldnt have been looking for a paracetamol
she only takes that in liquid form

OP posts:
Original poster
Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 09:53

if it happens again i will speak up

OP posts:
LadyKenya · 21/08/2023 09:53

Oh well. Maybe it would be best to visit her at home, if you feel so annoyed by what she has done. It does strike me as being ott though, your reaction to this.

cryinglaughing · 21/08/2023 09:53

Seems a bit of an extreme reaction to looking at your medication.

Ohmylovejune · 21/08/2023 09:56

She's 88 and might not be here tomorrow. Don't be so silly over something so small.

It's fab she has her faculties to leave the house, catch a bus, and visit you. At 88 that matters, many can't and its a very different experience to you visiting her.

Speak to her or suck it up. Whatever - don't fall with yoir elderly mum over something so minor

Purpleavocado · 21/08/2023 09:56

Probably not want you want to hear, but I'd love to have my elderly Mum snooping through my house. Maybe you'll miss her when she's gone?

Mariposista · 21/08/2023 09:58

Your poor mum. A lot of elderly people are nosy. Just ask her not to!
You are planning on banning her from your house in the final years of her life? I hope you regret that once she's gone. I lost my nan 3 months ago, and she used to get so sad that she couldn't come to my mum's house anymore in her last 6 months as she was too frail. We got her there practically carrying her for Christmas Day. And you are planning on banning yours over something petty? Shame on you!

Original poster
Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 09:59

it is easier for her if i visit her in her house
this was a pop by on the way home

OP posts:
Original poster
Crumpetdisappointment · 21/08/2023 10:00

we havent fallen out
as i said
i am an ostrich

OP posts:
PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 21/08/2023 10:02

Weird.
Shes your mum, just talk to her.

BlueBlubbaWhale · 21/08/2023 10:02

I'm not sure why her being 88 is being used to excuse this behaviour. It's very rude.

Bandyarsia · 21/08/2023 10:02

Ooohhhhhh cop on for Gods sake. How ridiculous is this.

Ohmylovejune · 21/08/2023 10:03

Iys doesn't matter that something is easier.

At 88 taking longer to do something isn't generally an issue because they don't have as much to do in a day as we have. It's good for them to have something that they can do that's physical, social.and taxes the mind a little.

Far better than sat waiting for you to arrive, to stay however long and the leave again. Obviously you visiting is nice as well, don't stop that, but of she has the ability to visit you that has advantages for her too.

ClairDeLaLune · 21/08/2023 10:04

What do you mean, you’re an ostrich?

Slight over-reaction to her snooping OP, just out your meds away in future. Would love it if my mum could get out and about to visit me.

Swipe left for the next trending thread