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Original poster

The relentlessness of children

151 replies

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 07:58

They're constantly in my face. Wanting to climb on me and sit on me. Patting me/ pulling on my clothes/ hair. Jumping on the sofa, climbing on tables.

They constant crying and constant tantrums when they can't have their way.

I just can't ! Taking them out is a nightmare, so is staying in. It's just a nightmare. Everything is difficult. I hate every day.

I'm not even a stay at home parent. I work and they go to nursery. But they're still breaking me at night / in the morning and in the evenings/ weekends.

Nappy changes are a nightmare. My 1 year old acts like he's being murdered. Constant tantrums. Taking my 3 year old to any activity / soft play often results in arguments as she just doesn't get sharing ( I know that's normal but it's still difficult ). When I discipline her she just gets worse and starts throwing stuff at me. Nothing gets through at all, ever.

But most of all, the constant demands are killing me. Not even a cup of coffee in peace without one of them trying to grab it or cry about something it demand something. I just can't. I don't even have night time to myself as one or the other is crying or wanting something from me.

I do have a partner but he's just never here because he's always working. So it's my problem. Just needed to rant. I sometimes just don't know how I can get through this.

Tired mother of a 3 and 1 year old.

OP posts:
Original poster
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:01

I've gone past the point of breaking down. But the constant chorus of screaming and shouting is starting to wear me down.

OP posts:
Kerberos · 21/08/2023 08:08

It's one of the most intense times to be a parent. Just want to be not touched, pinched, knee bombed, grabbed...

It's a cliche but, this is a phase and it will end.

Sounds like you need a break. Any scope for taking a day off? If your partner is working all the time - can anyone else help for an overnight break? Parents? Siblings? Close friends?

Anothernamethesamegame · 21/08/2023 08:14

Things do get easier. It’s so so hard when they are small and their needs are constant.

I say do whatever helps you get through the day. With children so small a lot of it will be perfectly normal behaviour for their developmental age, it’s get easier when you can use logic with them (and have consequences for things like jumping on chairs etc).

I found being out the house walks easier than being at home so I ended up doing that a lot.

Can you pay for some help? A babysitter/mothers help to pop in for a few hours a few times a week when you have them?

Anothermother3 · 21/08/2023 08:21

Depending on what works for you obviously but I found being with another parent I like made a big difference - one to one more than groups which had their place but we’re not relaxing. Similar age children and being outside where possible. If the noise is overwhelming try some loop earplugs (you can still hear I would never suggest blocking them out). Also think sensory at those ages so try and get them moving and interacting with things physically.

Original poster
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:24

It's just simple stuff that's extremely stressful.

I'm just trying to get dressed for the day. My youngest has been awake since 5 am, so I couldn't do it before. I've had to listen to him screaming all morning. God forbid I had to quickly pop upstairs to get some clothes and or I had to put him down for a sec while I made breakfast for him, he's just absolutely distraught.

I also had to get him down from a table. How evil of me. It's a chorus of screaming. It's so hard to take.

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 21/08/2023 08:26

Where is your other half? He needs to cut his working hours. That’s your problem not your children.

Original poster
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:27

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 21/08/2023 08:26

Where is your other half? He needs to cut his working hours. That’s your problem not your children.

I didn't say my children were a problem. They're just children

OP posts:
Thedoctorswife1 · 21/08/2023 08:28

It’s so hard. I have 2.5 yo twins - it’s so so intense.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 21/08/2023 08:28

I’m not saying your children are a problem. I’m saying when you have 2 parents you work together and support each other.

If he’s never there, then it’s very difficult. You are doing it all on your own. And it’s overwhelming.

Anothernamethesamegame · 21/08/2023 08:29

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:24

It's just simple stuff that's extremely stressful.

I'm just trying to get dressed for the day. My youngest has been awake since 5 am, so I couldn't do it before. I've had to listen to him screaming all morning. God forbid I had to quickly pop upstairs to get some clothes and or I had to put him down for a sec while I made breakfast for him, he's just absolutely distraught.

I also had to get him down from a table. How evil of me. It's a chorus of screaming. It's so hard to take.

Noise was a huge factor in my stress when kids were that age. Realised I was very sensitive to loud sounds and it would kick me into stress. I bought some ear plugs that I wore not to ignore the kids but to manage the sound when it was too much.

TakeNoNoticeoftheNoise · 21/08/2023 08:30

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow what a ridiculous thing to say. Cut his hours - like it's so easy to just do that and live on a lesser wage!

OP needs to grow up to the choices she's made!

Original poster
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:31

@Anothernamethesamegame I'm really sensitive to noise and also just being pulled at all day. I feel like I have a knot in my stomach and feel stressed all the time. Add to that the constant mess in the house, which also makes me feel stressed and im a ball of nerves.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 21/08/2023 08:32

TakeNoNoticeoftheNoise · 21/08/2023 08:30

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow what a ridiculous thing to say. Cut his hours - like it's so easy to just do that and live on a lesser wage!

OP needs to grow up to the choices she's made!

Well aren’t you kind? And so helpful too.

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:33

This reply has been deleted

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TakeNoNoticeoftheNoise · 21/08/2023 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

For speaking the truth??

What do you expect OP, sympathy for having two children?

SummerHouse · 21/08/2023 08:34

Now I am just going to come at you with a virtual fluffy blanket and a cup of tea.

3 and 1 is the devil's time. It is relentless. But when they are finally asleep for the night, aren't they just incredible? As you watch them sleeping all the shit from the day melts away.

For me, this was the hardest time of parenting and it's just got easier and easier as they got older.

Activities and day trips always went better if I arranged to meet family or friends.

We liked routine so if we liked somewhere we would go back every week. They seemed easier with familiar things.

Celebrate every time you achieve greatness. This will happen so much during the day but I think we just dread the next battle without recognising that we are master negotiators. If I got two shoes and two socks on my youngest son, this was like an Olympic gold. There is no one to see it. I would give myself a talk on how utterly brilliant I was and give myself a parenting high five!

LittleBearPad · 21/08/2023 08:35

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:31

@Anothernamethesamegame I'm really sensitive to noise and also just being pulled at all day. I feel like I have a knot in my stomach and feel stressed all the time. Add to that the constant mess in the house, which also makes me feel stressed and im a ball of nerves.

It’s a really full on time. It’s probably not going to help (for now) but it will get better as they get older. The screaming and mess would (and did) drive me mad, it really was full on.

Are you working today or at home?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 21/08/2023 08:35

TakeNoNoticeoftheNoise · 21/08/2023 08:30

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow what a ridiculous thing to say. Cut his hours - like it's so easy to just do that and live on a lesser wage!

OP needs to grow up to the choices she's made!

Yeah right.

She doesn’t say why he’s never there. He could be one of those family avoiding partners who are always ‘busy’ at work. Not everyone gets paid hourly.

Bex5490 · 21/08/2023 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I’ve got sympathy for anyone with 2 children under 4. That’s not easy. Why kick someone when they’re down and reach out for support. I’m always so curious as to what makes people like you on these forums feel the need to make someone feel worse…

dottiedodah · 21/08/2023 08:36

Maybe he could give you a break sometimes .unless he works 24/7. Even a Sunday morning or something. You are working too! This phase is intense and you need a break .

Original poster
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:36

@TakeNoNoticeoftheNoise no, for kicking someone down when they're in a state. Don't worry, it will get back to you. What you put in, you'll get out. And judging by your nasty responses, you already got a lot back anyway. Shame on you.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 21/08/2023 08:37

TakeNoNoticeoftheNoise · 21/08/2023 08:34

For speaking the truth??

What do you expect OP, sympathy for having two children?

Show quote history

Do you have a one year old and a three year old? Have you had them in the past? If so then some empathy would be expected.

If you haven’t then pop off to another thread where you can spread some more joy.

Windowcleaning · 21/08/2023 08:37

Ear plugs that dull the noise sound like a good idea. Wish I'd done that. Feeling less 'got at' should hopefully reduce your anxiety and help you think more clearly.

Also, yes to getting out the house.

Original poster
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh · 21/08/2023 08:37

@SummerHouse I miss them when I work. They're so cute.

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · 21/08/2023 08:39

Solidarity ❣️

Mine at 7 and 6 months, different ages, different problems but still NON FUCKING STOP!!!

I think because oldest is 7 now I've almost become desensitised to the stress and find myself hysterically laughing like a maniac when it gets too much 🙈🤣

3 and 1, shitters of ages but you're nearly at age 4 which is a lovely age and it gets easier from there. Hang in there, get yourself off to work and have a quiet cup of tea. Pray for me in a few months I'm a bloody teacher, out of the frying pan eh! Xx