To find it uncomfortable with men staring at my DD?

[creamtogowithyourscones]

She will be 16 in November and she’s already getting lots of stares from men. She’s very pretty and she looks closer to 18.

Last night we had dinner with my sister and niece and a man on the next table (who was on a date) kept glancing over trying to make eye contact.

I just want to protect her but also she’s at that age where she’s going to do what she wants.

I don't think calling out lechery is overstepping any parenting boundaries and there are ways to do it without embarrassing her. You'll also be modeling confident behaviour

I actually used to eyeball men and challenge them quite aggressively when this happened. I don’t care about men’s fragile little egos when they’re perving on my daughter. The older they were, the more vicious I would be.

We you looking at him, looking at your table.

I think I’d be inclined to eyeball him and when she wasn’t about inform him in front of his date that she’s 15.

How does she feel about the attention?

I have done this too - it started when my DD was 13 and in school uniform 😡.

Were, that should have said.

I saw a man looking my 13 year old up and down in Asda. He didn't know I was there. As I walked past I said ' she's a child you pervert'

She’s 15. This isn’t about ‘she’s at that age where she’s going to do what she wants.’ This is about adult men being creepy when she’s not even aware of them. Send her to the loo or to get something from the car and when she’s out of earshot ask them why they’re staring at your 15 year old child.

Id have turned round and said loudly so other diners and his date could hear... stop staring at my child

Exactly! I usually add “you nonce” at the end for good measure. I channel my inner chav in these moments and go for maximum humiliation. Men get away with far too much.

Yeah my tall but not particularly developed dd has started getting stares. She was with her older brother on the bus and an ‘old’ (their word not mine - he was probably 30) was staring at her. My son ended up saying something as he felt so uncomfortable with it.

also recently a guy came up and asked if ‘we could lose mum’ - told him he was disgusting

I normally give them a look or we move away if out and about. It is uncomfortable.

My daughter developed early and looks older than her age. She was 10 when I first noticed men checking her out so I’d shout “she’s only ten” at them. On her 12th birthday we went to a restaurant for dinner and a couple of late 20s guys were sat at the bar area and one checked her out. His pal saw her birthday badge on her bag and went through him like a dose of the shits. That was reassuring. I’ve taught her to say “I’m only 12/13/14” quite loudly when some adult male checks her out and she does so.

it’s awful that kids have to deal with this. It’s awful that women have to deal with this. The defence “well she looks older” makes no difference as no woman exists to be leered at by men.

Good for you

Often take my 16 year old niece shopping and she gets this alot, boils my blood, one very obvious fella walked past then turned to continue eyeing her up while holding his wife's hand, I saw red caught them up an said to his wife are you aware your husband likes to eye children up both looked very awkward at each other then hurried off.

This started happening from about age 11 for my DD. I wouldn't say anything while she was there but would make sure I put myself between him and her and stare them down until they moved away. Every time they would quickly move away.

My daughter has had similar since she was about 12. Her friends have too. Even me being there didn’t stop one drunken pervert getting right in her space saying suggestive stuff. I was polite but firm at first when I told him “she’s 15 please leave her alone” (I think sometimes we as women/girls are almost programmed to be no matter how awful men’s behaviour is). My daughter said the same. But he didn’t back off at all, in fact it almost made it worse?! So I got more aggressive and ended up screaming at him to get the fuck away from my daughter and called him a disgusting predator. He had the audacity to be offended by this and sobered up enough to try and make himself the victim. Father of daughters apparently so very offended. Didn’t wash with us and my daughter ended up screaming that he was a nonce. Can’t remember which of us told him we felt sorry for his daughters.

I was 5' 8" and fully developed at age 11. One guy in the park (I was reading, my older cousin was there too but a ways off) approached me and started to chat. After a few minutes he twigged I was ALOT younger than he thought and beat a quick retreat. I don't blame him, I do blame my driving instructor (40ish) who actually kissed me when I was reversing when I was 17. Gross.

I absolutely would have challenged him.

I remember mum going up some scaffolding after a builder whistled at me when I was about 14. That was the 90s. I think if it was now mum would have tracked him down on Facebook and told his wife as well.

I have challenged men looking at dd when she was younger. She is 19 now and I would still do as it makes her visibly uncomfortable.

Teenagers will do what that want. But that doesn’t mean you can’t step in to protect them. I usually find, when the teen is young, simply pointing out their age seems to do the job. So in this situation, on my way to the bathroom I would have said ‘the girl whose eye you are are trying to catch and staring at….is 15’

Inner chav? 😐

In the same situation...I had to swap places in a restaurant with my daughter as she felt so uncomfortable. I then stated the guy out until he made a comment (in a second language I could understand!) that now he has to look at mutton instead of lamb. Ruined the evening.

I stare men down or ask if I can help them when this happens; it’s a disturbing part of parenting a teenager that I didn’t expect

I'd absolutely be asking them outright if there's a reason they're staring at a 15 year old, and I hope I can teach my daughter to have the bones to do the same and call out the perversion.

When this happens to my
Daughters I call them by telling them that my daughters are only 13 and 17.
Doesn't matter that your daughter could pass as 18. That's still too young for a grown man.

My mum shouted out for the site manager when a couple of filthy freaks were commenting on the bounce of my teenage breasts from their scaffolding. She said she'd be sure to get the school (it was a girls school absolutely plagued with flashers and mastubators in hedgerows) to put a note out if she got word of any more incidents.weirdly though she never called out the family friend who made comments of a similar vein. Just stopped taking me to those Mensa/ area/ family get togethers.
Call out every last incident, there's too many that think sexualising children is nothing unusual