To find it uncomfortable with men staring at my DD?

[creamtogowithyourscones]

She will be 16 in November and she’s already getting lots of stares from men. She’s very pretty and she looks closer to 18.

Last night we had dinner with my sister and niece and a man on the next table (who was on a date) kept glancing over trying to make eye contact.

I just want to protect her but also she’s at that age where she’s going to do what she wants.

When ones a child and the other an adult it absolutely does.

It's a tricky one but personally I don't think I'd be inclined to 'do' anything unless they're 'staring' or making inappropriate gestures. It might be an idea though to have a discussion about how your daughter might handle inappropriate attention in the future. The point is, I believe someone (male) noticing/admiring your daughter isn't necessarily wrong, but letching, drooling, cat calling etc is. If your daughter isn't put out by this or is handling it herself, I'd leave her to it.

I've noticed just recently that my DD14 is starting to turn heads. No creepy comments or full-on leching yet but I will have absolutely no problem calling them out with a very loud 'she's just a child, you pervert' if needs be.

I think the OP said he was 'glancing over at her, trying to make eye contact'?

You don't think a man 'admiring' a child is wrong? Do you genuinely think it's ok for a grown man to show that he's sexually attracted to a child?

99% of women have been perved on as young teens by older men. Generously, maybe 1% of men have been through the same with a female perve (likely far more with a male culprit). It may occasionally happen in the opposite direction, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s almost always men doing the perving and almost always women being perved on.

The 'I didn't know how old she was' line went out in the 1970s.

Men need to stop perving over children.

And I would have gone over and hissed loudly 'she's fifteen you fucking creep'.

Does it suddenly become OK when they're 16, then?

Screamingabdabz · Today 14:35
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · Today 14:34

The power dynamic does not make this the same!

🤯 I never said it did, however neither does it matter as ds2 and the OP dd are the same age, both are children!!!

Sorry I pressed too soon.

There is no “power” between children, both cases in wrong, in fact any case is wrong no matter the age!!!!

No of course not. But reminding a man in public that he's perving over a child makes his erection go away faster

Exactly 💯

You don't think a man 'admiring' a child is wrong? Do you genuinely think it's ok for a grown man to show that he's sexually attracted to a child?

I don't think a man being attracted to a child that looks like an attractive young woman is abnormal. I don't think it's wrong to momentarily be distracted (and look) their way. I do think it's wrong to do anything more than glance and admire though. If that's what happening I'd be put out.

Roselee 1 Well maybe even some older teens/young women dont like being leered at? So how about men get some actual manners ? Im pretty sure they wouldnt enjoy their wives/daughters/ being looked at like this!

I'd have 'needed the toilet' and quietly said to him that she's 15 as I walked past.

It would be nice if more men called out other men over this.

I think both you and the bloke at the restaurant are behaving fairly normally. Your protecting your DD, he's attracted to a young female who could be 18.

If heterosexual males were not attracted to attractive, fertile females, the population would not exist. You stated that she looks older, perhaps he thought she was 18 or more. I recently watched a video where people guessed others' ages and consistently, 14-16 year old teen girls were being guessed to be in their 20s. A glance here and there is different from leering or harassment.

Maybe heterosexual males could stop leering full stop and then there wouldn't be an issue with getting ages wrong. You can be sexually attracted to someone without staring and making someone uncomfortable

Not nice for you to witness and I empathise but given that you've said "She’s very pretty and she looks closer to 18." I think its fairly expected that men will look at pretty young women and you can expect a lot more of it.

Fucking hell. Do people really think it's ok for men to leer so much at women that it's noticeable as long as the female looks over 18?

Wow this thread is terrifying - tbf I remember this happening to me in my teens, I was no mona Lisa, it happens to plain girls too, men are just creeps. My dd is 3 and I'm dreading this happening to her. Well done to those of you who'd loudly call it out. I'd like to think I'd do the same: I'm liable to freeze/flee when this stuff happens to me but I'd like to think I'd fire up if I saw it happening to my daughter. I think it's important for the daughters to see it being called out too, maybe it'll make them less likely to freeze if it happens to them when they're on their own.

99% of women have been perved on as young teens by older men. Generously, maybe 1% of men have been through the same with a female perve (likely far more with a male culprit). It may occasionally happen in the opposite direction, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s almost always men doing the perving and almost always women being perved on.

Can you back this up?

because frankly your wrong, absolutely true that females are significantly sexually objectified to male harassment however males are objectified to around 18/20% however the figure is likely higher as males don’t report it.

Grooming for males is around the same percentage.

I loath that MN minimise abuse on males, especially male children, neither is acceptable.

They defend themselves by saying that they look older pushing the onus on the girl to look younger. It's funny how women manage to recognise how old children are and act (mostly) appropriately and yet met can't possibly seem tell and its only when they are publicly called out they look embarrassed nasty fuckers. Some man in Asda called my seven year old niece a sexy kitten. I shouted "nonce" at him and left him to the security guards
They make my blood boil dirty fuckers.

Saying "she looks 18" is only remotely defensible if the bloke himself is about 18. But he never is, is he, he's 30s, 40s, 50s. (Whereas 18yos can generally tell if a girl is in the same year at school or not). The creeps are still creepily leching on a girl that even he admits is at least 10-20y younger than him.

My god, lock em all up and throw away the key.