Page 4 | To find it uncomfortable with men staring at my DD?

creamtogowithyourscones · 2023-08-20T10:27:33+00:00

She will be 16 in November and she’s already getting lots of stares from men. She’s very pretty and she looks closer to 18. Last night we had dinner with my sister and niece and a man on the next table (who was on a date) kept glancing over trying to make eye contact. I just want to protect her but also she’s at that age where she’s going to do what she wants.

LordoftheFlutes · 20/08/2023 15:36

I find it wrong when men and women pursue teens. I resent so much that so many women cheered and got excited about Aaron Johnson dating Sam Taylor. Disgusting! Emmanuel Macron is another one, he met his now wife when he was 15 and she was 40! Just wrong. Keep your hands off teenagers if you're not a teenager!! Simple!!

Caprisunny · 20/08/2023 15:38

LordoftheFlutes · 20/08/2023 15:36

I find it wrong when men and women pursue teens. I resent so much that so many women cheered and got excited about Aaron Johnson dating Sam Taylor. Disgusting! Emmanuel Macron is another one, he met his now wife when he was 15 and she was 40! Just wrong. Keep your hands off teenagers if you're not a teenager!! Simple!!

Who cheered Sam Taylor? From what I can see she is universally hated.

TheaBrandt · 20/08/2023 15:39

It’s grim either way but far more prevalent men to girls. Plus the dynamic is more aggressive due to the physical and societal power imbalance. A fit young man isn’t ever going to genuinely physically fear a middle aged woman.

WunWun · 20/08/2023 15:41

It's funny, there are threads like these where young girls have these awful experiences, then the other day was a thread where the majority of women told a poster she was over reacting and sexualising her own ten year old daughter for being upset that someone had let her walk home a ten minute walk in a rural area on her own in just a swimming costume.

NerrSnerr · 20/08/2023 15:44

WunWun · 20/08/2023 15:41

It's funny, there are threads like these where young girls have these awful experiences, then the other day was a thread where the majority of women told a poster she was over reacting and sexualising her own ten year old daughter for being upset that someone had let her walk home a ten minute walk in a rural area on her own in just a swimming costume.

They're two separate situations. The problem is that men will leer whether she is wearing a swimming costume or normal clothes. It doesn't matter. A preteen should be able to walk home wearing what she wants- it's the men who need to change their behaviour.

OscarsWonAnOscar · 20/08/2023 15:46

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Fannyfiggs · 20/08/2023 15:46

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 20/08/2023 15:31

99% of women have been perved on as young teens by older men. Generously, maybe 1% of men have been through the same with a female perve (likely far more with a male culprit). It may occasionally happen in the opposite direction, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s almost always men doing the perving and almost always women being perved on.

Can you back this up?

because frankly your wrong, absolutely true that females are significantly sexually objectified to male harassment however males are objectified to around 18/20% however the figure is likely higher as males don’t report it.

Grooming for males is around the same percentage.

I loath that MN minimise abuse on males, especially male children, neither is acceptable.

This thread is about a male, perving on a young girl. No-one is talking about male abuse apart from you. Maybe you should do what your user name suggests.

WunWun · 20/08/2023 15:47

They should be, but I'm not going to use my daughter as a guinea pig to see what these skanky men will do when she's on her own with no one around rather than in a restaurant with her parents. And I would judge the shit out of anyone who would die on the "she should be allowed to walk around half naked in the middle of nowhere" hill and let their kid do it.

BlackJumpsuit · 20/08/2023 15:50

F0RBIDDEN · 20/08/2023 11:42

I saw a man looking my 13 year old up and down in Asda. He didn't know I was there. As I walked past I said ' she's a child you pervert'

I had a similar experience on a bus when my DD was about 15. He took great pleasure in ignoring me and continuing to look her up and down. I'm not a violent person but I wanted to tear him limb from limb. The white hot anger 😤

FrenchandSaunders · 20/08/2023 15:52

Yeah 13 here with DDs … mostly guys with baby DDs in pushchairs … noncey fuckers

Iam4eels · 20/08/2023 15:59

The issue here isen sexualising women simply because they are female and in a public space, it could easily be resolved by men not viewing women as potential sexual partners and keeping their evaluating looks to themselves. The majority of women manage not to go around ogling every man or woman they see or staring at them until they're uncomfortable. Why can't men?

Ogling and staring isn't flirting, it's not cute, it's fucking baseline misogyny.

flotsomandjetsome · 20/08/2023 16:03

Once took DD to a uni open day. There was a group of similar age boys there that made some comments about what they'd like to do to her, I obviously had my middle age cloak of invisibility on so I don't think it occurred to them who I was or that I'd heard. I walked right in between her and them and said my god some teenage boys are awful.

Then on our way home we stopped at the services. We walked past an older man maybe 60 ish, and the way he looked at her 🤮. We had just passed him so I stopped, turned on my heels, went back, looked him right in the eye and said, "she's 16 you utter pervert"

I agree with others, you have to call this shit out each and every time it happens. Later I overheard DD telling her BF about the service station incident, I think she may have called me a legend - we have to pass these superpowers onto our DDs

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 20/08/2023 16:06

This thread is about a male, perving on a young girl. No-one is talking about male abuse apart from you. Maybe you should do what your user name suggests.

Quite an apt username you have yourself you fanny! 🥱

The shock that topics can and do evolve from the original topic or that horrifyingly similar discussion can be had side by side.

Or are you being deliberately obtuse to child sexualisation/abuse?

Liz1tummypain · 20/08/2023 16:10

Do you not remember that age? It bothered me at the time but I'd love to have that problem now. ( At least to be occasionally aware that someone notices me) Hey-ho.

Maireas · 20/08/2023 16:11

Iam4eels · 20/08/2023 15:59

The issue here isen sexualising women simply because they are female and in a public space, it could easily be resolved by men not viewing women as potential sexual partners and keeping their evaluating looks to themselves. The majority of women manage not to go around ogling every man or woman they see or staring at them until they're uncomfortable. Why can't men?

Ogling and staring isn't flirting, it's not cute, it's fucking baseline misogyny.

I know, unfortunately the entitlement of males remains strong on this front.

Iam4eels · 20/08/2023 16:13

Or are you being deliberately obtuse to child sexualisation/abuse?

According to official ONS figures, 98% of reported sex crimes against both men and women are committed by men.

Ketzele · 20/08/2023 16:13

Could posters please stop saying how pretty their daughters are - ALL women and girls put up with this shit from men. I dunno, it just sounds a bit, "He's teasing you because he likes you."

enchantedsquirrelwood · 20/08/2023 16:13

DisquietintheRanks · 20/08/2023 14:44

When ones a child and the other an adult it absolutely does.

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No it doesn't, Men rape and kill women they leer at every day of the week The opposite is very very rarely true, although I don't like things like strippers at hen dos and the like.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 20/08/2023 16:14

Liz1tummypain · 20/08/2023 16:10

Do you not remember that age? It bothered me at the time but I'd love to have that problem now. ( At least to be occasionally aware that someone notices me) Hey-ho.

If it happened to me it went right over my head!

I did notice cat calling at building sites but I never noticed anyone ogling me.

Spanky123 · 20/08/2023 16:14

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Iam4eels · 20/08/2023 16:15

I can't remember who said it originally but there is a famous quote that goes "misandry irritates, misogyny kills". Women ogling men, whole also not acceptable, does not have the same undertone of violence that men ogling women does and the person being ogled is far more likely to be assaulted and/or killed of their harasser is a man.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 20/08/2023 16:18

According to official ONS figures, 98% of reported sex crimes against both men and women are committed by men.

They are and the figures are correct, the figures I quoted are for children, specifically children who are groomed. (As we are talking about children)

Off topic however I only mentioned it as the poster used personal opinion rather than fact, it just minimises make child abuse which I loath.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 20/08/2023 16:18

NerrSnerr · 20/08/2023 14:50

You don't think a man 'admiring' a child is wrong? Do you genuinely think it's ok for a grown man to show that he's sexually attracted to a child?

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To be fair you can notice someone is attractive without being sexually attracted to them. After all, I am not lesbian but I see lots of attractive women around.

There is a massive difference between giving someone a second glance and leering.

@mnhq why did you delete the comment asking how men are meant to know someone's age? Didn't you think the very many comments answering that remark were sufficient to refute it?

Clymene · 20/08/2023 16:18

Liz1tummypain · 20/08/2023 16:10

Do you not remember that age? It bothered me at the time but I'd love to have that problem now. ( At least to be occasionally aware that someone notices me) Hey-ho.

Yeah, I yearn for the days when middle aged men were leering at my teenage self.

I think you need to work on your self esteem if you view nonces with misty eyed nostalgia

enchantedsquirrelwood · 20/08/2023 16:19

Iam4eels · 20/08/2023 16:15

I can't remember who said it originally but there is a famous quote that goes "misandry irritates, misogyny kills". Women ogling men, whole also not acceptable, does not have the same undertone of violence that men ogling women does and the person being ogled is far more likely to be assaulted and/or killed of their harasser is a man.

Yes - the one I've often heard is that men are scared of women laughing at them, women are scared of men killing them. Puts it in perspective.