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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend put down

131 replies

Tilly0921 · 19/08/2023 20:57

A friend of mine who I have know for 25 years belittles me in front of others. I have recently felt extremely down the next day after socialising with her because of this.

Last night my husband and I met her new boyfriend and she put me down all evening.
Examples:

1)She told him whilst we were sat at the table that my hands are disgusting and ugly. She is the only person who tells me this continuously.

2)She told my husband and step daughter that I was ugly as a teenager and have only blossomed as an adult. I said I don't feel I looked that bad, she added that I definitely was and she will find photos to show everyone to prove it.

3)told everyone that when I was a hairdresser that I was useless and my mum probably does her own colour now because she hated how I did it for the last 20 years. This is not true, my mum felt I was too busy bringing up my children to keep doing it.

4)announced to everyone that I have no friends. At this point I had a few to drink so unfortunately reacted by saying - you always say this to me...I'm sorry I don't have as many friends as you but the ones I have, have been there for the last 20 plus years
and I trust them.

She basically implies to everyone that I'm an idiot with no friends. But will then randomly drop into conversation that she would like to take me away on holiday with her as she has no one to go on holiday with. I told her I can't afford this and she said she would pay for me. She's either really nice or quite mean to me!

I genuinely feel upset about this. She has always sort of been like this with me and I have brushed it off but never this bad.
I just don't have any other friends that make me feel this low after seeing them. What do you think her issue is? Maybe she just thinks it's funny.

OP posts:
dearanon · 19/08/2023 21:01

Stop meeting her. She's a cunt.

Simplelifex · 19/08/2023 21:01

She is not your friend.. I had a friend exactly like this. She would always put me down and belittle me in front of others and I always felt like she would laugh at my expense. I think she is probably just trying to make herself look better or maybe it comes down to jealously

Kitkatfiend31 · 19/08/2023 21:01

She is not your friend. Ditch her!

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/08/2023 21:01

She is no friend. You know that. She’s a horrible cruel nasty person who you need to cut out of your life and never see again.

I’m not being dramatic. She’s awful and if you know you wouldn’t speak to someone like she does to you you know she doesn’t even like you. Get rid of her.

JulesJules · 19/08/2023 21:01

dearanon · 19/08/2023 21:01

Stop meeting her. She's a cunt.

This

drpet49 · 19/08/2023 21:02

This is bizarre. What do other people say when your friend belittles you???

ItLooksLikeChickenSoItMustBeChicken · 19/08/2023 21:03

What a horrible bitch. Fuck her off, she's a nasty person and you don't need her in your life.

TiramisuTastesDreamy · 19/08/2023 21:03

Ditch her - you have no need to put up with her awful treatment of you.

Whatmonth · 19/08/2023 21:03

You are a grown woman who doesn't need or want someone so nasty in your life.
Block her in every form.

bevelino · 19/08/2023 21:04

If she is a true friend call her out and let her know how hurtful her comments are.

Poppyblush · 19/08/2023 21:05

Stop meeting her as she’s a total bitch

floribunda18 · 19/08/2023 21:05

She sounds a standard jealous nasty cow.

FatNoMoreSue · 19/08/2023 21:06

So your husband just sat there while she slagged you off?

ThreeLittleDots · 19/08/2023 21:06

You're useful to her, as you make her feel better about herself. She doesn't like you.

UsingChangeofName · 19/08/2023 21:06

Why would you spend ANY time with someone like that ?

How can you call someone like that 'a friend' ?

Why didn't your dh challenge what she was saying ?

I am so confused Confused

CherryMaDeara · 19/08/2023 21:07

Why do you keep seeing someone so cruel, nasty and twatty?

Just dump her and live a happy life.

elm26 · 19/08/2023 21:07

She sounds like an absolute arsehole. Didn't your DH say anything? I can't imagine my DH keeping his mouth shut if somebody was talking to me like that. I'd drop her like a hot potato, this isn't a friendship.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 19/08/2023 21:09

What did your dh say? My partner would flip out.

Wheresthebloomingsummersunshine · 19/08/2023 21:11

LTB
Seriously, she's deeply unpleasant to you, and shows her massive insecurities by dissing you. No wonder she has no-one to go on holiday with! Does she have any other friends at all?

LadyLolaRuben · 19/08/2023 21:11

She sounds terrible. You shouldn't leave the company of a friend having been spoken to like that and feeling bad. Shes not a friend. She's putting you down to make herself look and feel better. Cut her out your life immediately

RaininSummer · 19/08/2023 21:12

I really can't see how you can call this person a friend.

Barfvader · 19/08/2023 21:13

Dump her. Seriously, stop seeing her. No friends would be better than being friends with her!

EthicalNonMahogany · 19/08/2023 21:13

another one who wants to know what DH did. Did he notice the barbed comments? Didn't he stick up for you?

BoogLoaf · 19/08/2023 21:15

She sounds absolutely horrible.
A real friend wouldn't make you feel bad.
I wouldn't bother with her.

Just because you've known her a long time doesn't mean you have to put up with that. I'd ask her why she's horrible to you, and then cut contact. You won't miss her.

WellDuh · 19/08/2023 21:15

dearanon · 19/08/2023 21:01

Stop meeting her. She's a cunt.

This. 100%. She is not your friend!

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