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AIBU?

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Friend put down

131 replies

Tilly0921 · 19/08/2023 20:57

A friend of mine who I have know for 25 years belittles me in front of others. I have recently felt extremely down the next day after socialising with her because of this.

Last night my husband and I met her new boyfriend and she put me down all evening.
Examples:

1)She told him whilst we were sat at the table that my hands are disgusting and ugly. She is the only person who tells me this continuously.

2)She told my husband and step daughter that I was ugly as a teenager and have only blossomed as an adult. I said I don't feel I looked that bad, she added that I definitely was and she will find photos to show everyone to prove it.

3)told everyone that when I was a hairdresser that I was useless and my mum probably does her own colour now because she hated how I did it for the last 20 years. This is not true, my mum felt I was too busy bringing up my children to keep doing it.

4)announced to everyone that I have no friends. At this point I had a few to drink so unfortunately reacted by saying - you always say this to me...I'm sorry I don't have as many friends as you but the ones I have, have been there for the last 20 plus years
and I trust them.

She basically implies to everyone that I'm an idiot with no friends. But will then randomly drop into conversation that she would like to take me away on holiday with her as she has no one to go on holiday with. I told her I can't afford this and she said she would pay for me. She's either really nice or quite mean to me!

I genuinely feel upset about this. She has always sort of been like this with me and I have brushed it off but never this bad.
I just don't have any other friends that make me feel this low after seeing them. What do you think her issue is? Maybe she just thinks it's funny.

OP posts:
Back21970 · 20/08/2023 03:25

If you can’t face dumping her outright do a slow fade.

Anyone making you feel like that is not a friend - life is too short to be around someone socially who makes you feel shit.

If you confronted her she’d probably say she was joking and that you were over sensitive (been there myself)

As someone else said, she’s an old friend not a good friend.

You owe her nothing, she sound like a Mean Girl, she’s not funny or clever - don’t give her any more headspace or any more of your company.

RantyAnty · 20/08/2023 03:43

Good grief. Block her and be done with her.

HappiDaze · 20/08/2023 03:54

I mean this is someone you should never have contact with again

HappiDaze · 20/08/2023 03:56

I'm surprised your Husband didn't just take your hand and get you and your step daughter out of there

HappiDaze · 20/08/2023 03:57

She's not what you would define as a friend or n any shape or form

WandaWonder · 20/08/2023 04:31

You do realise you don't have to stay friends, this sounds logical but it appears people need to be told this

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