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Original poster

Friend put down

131 replies

Tilly0921 · 19/08/2023 20:57

A friend of mine who I have know for 25 years belittles me in front of others. I have recently felt extremely down the next day after socialising with her because of this.

Last night my husband and I met her new boyfriend and she put me down all evening.
Examples:

1)She told him whilst we were sat at the table that my hands are disgusting and ugly. She is the only person who tells me this continuously.

2)She told my husband and step daughter that I was ugly as a teenager and have only blossomed as an adult. I said I don't feel I looked that bad, she added that I definitely was and she will find photos to show everyone to prove it.

3)told everyone that when I was a hairdresser that I was useless and my mum probably does her own colour now because she hated how I did it for the last 20 years. This is not true, my mum felt I was too busy bringing up my children to keep doing it.

4)announced to everyone that I have no friends. At this point I had a few to drink so unfortunately reacted by saying - you always say this to me...I'm sorry I don't have as many friends as you but the ones I have, have been there for the last 20 plus years
and I trust them.

She basically implies to everyone that I'm an idiot with no friends. But will then randomly drop into conversation that she would like to take me away on holiday with her as she has no one to go on holiday with. I told her I can't afford this and she said she would pay for me. She's either really nice or quite mean to me!

I genuinely feel upset about this. She has always sort of been like this with me and I have brushed it off but never this bad.
I just don't have any other friends that make me feel this low after seeing them. What do you think her issue is? Maybe she just thinks it's funny.

OP posts:
willWillSmithsmith · 19/08/2023 21:16

One of the advantages of being an adult is that you don’t have to have people as friends in your life who make you feel bad. Why on earth are you friends with this horrible woman? Tell her to fuck off and permanently block her. What on earth did your husband say about this or does he just sit there? I just don’t get any of this at all.

WhateverMate · 19/08/2023 21:16

You need to rethink your relationship with her.

And while you're at it, think about how your husband managed to sit and listen to all this, without stepping in.

BrightGreenMoonBuggy · 19/08/2023 21:17

She’s not your friend. She is someone you know well. Big difference. Cut her off - seriously. She thrives on embarrassing you, pulling you down and making you feel like complete shit. Nasty piece of work.

anon12345anon · 19/08/2023 21:18

dearanon · 19/08/2023 21:01

Stop meeting her. She's a cunt.

We need a like button on MN!

THIS (x10000000000)

Poor you Flowers

BrightGreenMoonBuggy · 19/08/2023 21:18

And yes, why is your husband sitting there letting her say this shit to his wife in his own home?

TetrapanaxRex · 19/08/2023 21:19

If you have low self esteem I can I understand why you didn't stand up for yourself but why on earth didn't your husband say anything?

If anyone put me down or insulted me I can stand up for myself but my husband would also chime in and tell them what he thinks in support of me.

Drop her, block her and never think about her again.

mbosnz · 19/08/2023 21:20

That ain't no friend.

She is a toxic, vicious, mean, vindictive, bitch.

rowantree1997 · 19/08/2023 21:20

It's taken me over 50 years to realise that friends should make you feel better about yourself.
We all occasionally put our foot in it and say something thoughtless but if it's on a regular basis you would be better off without them.

Jeschara · 19/08/2023 21:21

OP, please don't do this to yourself, she is a vile inadequate human being.
Her new boyfriend saw and heard this, and I hope he see's what a spiteful cow she is and ditches her.
Why did your husband not say anything?

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 19/08/2023 21:22

I hope this isn’t real.

Why don’t you stop seeing her, or at the very least say something.

WickedSerious · 19/08/2023 21:24

Fuck her off immediately.

RampantIvy · 19/08/2023 21:24

Why do you still see her?

RojoCarlottaValdez · 19/08/2023 21:24

What an evil bitch she is. Honestly, you must realise, she feels powerful by trying to destroy you in public. This is an ENEMY. No, you cannot fix it; no you cannot fix her. Time to end it - completely - no explanation, no equivocation - just no contact of any kind, if she gets in touch, ignore her. Do not respond. If she turns up at your house, just calmly tell her not to ever call again and close the door quietly. She'll get the message. You WILL feel so much better in yourself if you do this.

ToWhitToWhoo · 19/08/2023 21:24

Why do you continue being her friend at all? She sounds like a playground 'mean girl', who never grew up.

agent765 · 19/08/2023 21:25

Meet her one last time with people she's belittled you in front of then tell her that she's a nasty piece of work and that she's no friend of yours.

LakeTiticaca · 19/08/2023 21:26

She sounds awful. Send her a message telling her how she makes you feel and then bin her off......permanently

IvanTheDragon · 19/08/2023 21:28

This isn't a bit of misjudged teasing, this is really mean and sustained. Don't let her treat you this way!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 19/08/2023 21:31

Stop meeting her but also end the friendship.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 19/08/2023 21:31

She’s an immature and insecure bitch. I’d definitely break the friendship off, but me being a petty cow id invite her and her new boyfriend for dinner one last time, and when she puts you down, pull her up on it every single time and humiliate her. Silly cow 😂

truthhurts23 · 19/08/2023 21:32

she is a bully and using you as her emotional punching bag for 25 years,
not a real friend, even if she is nice to you occasionally
you should really drop her but if you do find yourself in these situations where she's publicly humiliating you , you have to stand up for yourself very firmy and tell her you are not putting up with her shit anymore
shame on your husband for not having your back

continentallentil · 19/08/2023 21:32

How is she your friend?!

Never see this woman again. She sounds horrendous.

Merryoldgoat · 19/08/2023 21:33

dearanon · 19/08/2023 21:01

Stop meeting her. She's a cunt.

100% this.

BeagleMum1 · 19/08/2023 21:34

dearanon · 19/08/2023 21:01

Stop meeting her. She's a cunt.

This!!! Perfectly put.

blackpear · 19/08/2023 21:34

She’s a bitch.

MidFourtiesAlready · 19/08/2023 21:34

When she asks you to go on holiday with her, that's not her being nice. It's her not having anyone to go with, so she figures she'll bring u along since you will say yes and she won't feel like a billy-no-mates. If someone better came along, she'd ditch you in a flash.

She sounds horrid. Don't see her again and definitely do NOT go on holiday with her. She isn't a friend. She doesn't hold you in any regard. She just uses and belittles you. Drop her.