I feel so guilty and ashamed

[Mumto1boyo]

Ds is in the terrible 2s and I ha e to wrestle him into his pram. Today was awful, it was raining and he wasn't cooperative. I lost my temper and called him a little cunt and to shut the fuck up.
Im so stressed. I do all the housework,cleaning and cooking and shopping so my dh doesn't have to worry about that as he is the breadwinner. I'm just a sahm. I feel terrible that I said those things to my sweet little boy and I love him so much.
I worry that if my husband wants another baby I will be too old as he is younger than me.
Not sure what my aibu is as I know ibu for being nasty to my darling boy.

Two threads? You are bonkers. Children drive even the sanest to distraction.

Calling a two-year old a ‘little cunt’ is fucking horrific. Whether they understand/remember it or not.

I think you need to take a step back and think about whether having a pristine house or having the patience required to deal with a young child is more important to you. I'm guessing your child is more important so take the pressure off yourself with the clean house and allow yourself the time and head space to enjoy your child more.

I promise your child won't care if the house is spotless or not and hopefully your husband would rather you were a great mum than an obsessive cleaner.

@thedancingbear god bloody human beings being imperfect human beings ay? She should have the kid taken off of her & be sent to prison for this serious abuse!

I also think the most important thing here is you've empathised and you've realised what you've done is wrong.

What helped me get through my childrens uncooperative behaviour when they were little is reminding myself it’s not forever. What also helped is I asked twice nicely to get in etc but found was just wasting more of my energy so after that just zoned out the screaming and strapped in quick as poss.

Totally agree with this. However, OP did also apologise to him when home which is good modelling and good that she knows it's not acceptable.

Does your DH do anything to help you ever? If he was single he would still have to clean, clothe and feed himself so he should still be doing those things now. You have a child to look after.

Do you know what, sometimes they are little cunts. Especially at two. You’re at the end of your rope. That’s ok. I hope you can get the support you need from your husband.

I couldn’t be a SAHM. Maybe it’s not making you happy.

Get a grip.

I worry people think I just sit on my bum all day and I know my dh likes a clean place so I do it to compensate for not working for money. I have a routine for it and most of it is done before dh goes to work.

Calling a toddler a ‘little cunt’ is not okay. Ever.

I’ve seen what abusive parenting can do to lives. these threads make me sick.

@thedancingbear You’re an apologist for child abuse.

& you’re not in the real world. They’re words, & words that a 2 year old won’t even understand. I’m not saying it’s great! But you’re batshit for calling it child abuse if this is an isolated incident which it very much sounds like it is!

Get a moral compass. Sickening.

Oh yes he's a fantastic dad and they play together and he takes him out. I just feel bad that I don't earn any money and it's all down to him for money. I worry a lot about everything. I have learning difficulties but not that that's an excuse for what I said.

Actually she is correct it is abuse. It said so on Google. Thankfully ds can't speak yet so hopefully he hasn't retained the words I used. But dancingbear is right.

I'm not the greatest parents in the world. I'm impatient and did struggled with the baby and toddler years. I'm a swearer. I've tried not to be, but I am. The distinction I always made was to swear about the dc, but not at them. So a ffs muttered to the heavens was ok, but never, ever calling them names.

If you do any safeguarding training, calling your kids names is classed as abuse. It just is. If I heard a parent calling their child a cunt, I'd wonder what else was going on. Jesus christ, I rarely even call adults cunts.

Oooh I see. Yes it was an isolated incident.

Oh I'm wrong then it is still abuse even though its an isolated incident. But I have taken your advice. Thank you

My son's first words were 'oh god' when he was about two, I was out with friends and felt mortified as I realised I said it all the time. I think the rubber band on the wrist method works - if you do swear, give it a big ping. Good luck and enjoy every minute while your DS is little, they don't stay little for long :)

unless you can see into the future, OP, you’ve no way of knowing if it’s an isolated incident.

you need to find a way of making fucking sure nothing like this happens again, ever. Posting on MN about how bad you feel isn’t enough.

OP, I've never said this to my toddler but I've thought it internally at times. Please don't castigate yourself. Nobody is a good mum 24/7. There are people here who will be horrified at what you did but have made their own parenting faux pas today and are too embarrassed to admit. Let's get real, it's not great to swear at your kid but since then you've been super mum and won't do it again. Don't give yourself too hard a time- we all have our breaking points, especially with toddlers

Anyone who calls their child a cunt or a dickhead, or tells them to shut the fuck up, and anyone who thinks this is somehow OK or normal or just "one of those things" when a parent is stressed, is a scumbag. Sorry.