To have no time for ‘anti-human’ people?

[Myfavouritepenguin]

I’ve seen it quite a lot recently- mostly on here rather than in real life admittedly. I’m referring to both the ‘I don’t like children people; I much prefer animals’ contingent as well as the ‘wouldn’t it be better if humans just died out’ approach.

I’ve been trying to pinpoint what it is that irks me, and I think it’s that this attitude seems like a slightly different version of “I’m not like other girls.” - an attempt to separate and elevate and basically look down on everyone else in your category.

The thing is, we are all human. Unless you are literally living off grid with wolves or whatever, you have not opted out of humanity. Whatever makes a human, that is what you are, and you are to some degree or other not only invested in but contributing to the whole operation, children and climate change included.

The answer to humanity’s ills and issues is not to reject everyone else who somehow isn’t as special and above humanity as these people seem to imagine they are!

Another thing: children are small people. But they share many traits. I don't much like spending time with men. Is that horrible and offensive too? Why? There are men I like. I'm polite when I meet them, and I keep an open mind. But I just find that in many many cases the ways that men try and interact with me tend to be less enjoyable.

I’m sorry. You’re not making any sense.

I said that people trying to separate themselves from the human race is a DIFFERENT VERSION of the way some women (usually, to be fair, girls in Hollywood movies…) use the “I’m not like the other girls” trope to try to elevate themselves.

If that trope annoys you, you’re halfway to understanding my point.

I used an analogy. I don’t know how much clearer I can be.

I also used the analogy of the traffic jam - but oddly no one lost their mind over that one.

I know I’m being rude now. But you keep trying to tell me I’m wrong whilst totally misunderstanding what I’m saying. It’s annoying.

I completely agree with you @Myfavouritepenguin

I went through a phase of “humans suck and I wish they died out” as a teenager, thinking I was being edgy and cool, channelling my angst. I would usually have a paperback by a French existentialist poking out of my bag too. I grew out of it, because it was a subconscious and very childish attempt to elevate myself. Some people don’t grow out of it I guess!

Another poster also hit the nail on the head about the “child-free” thing: Some people don't like interacting with the homeless, or intellectually disabled, or old people. It is what it is. But they would be rightly criticized if they started talking about wanting to live a elder-free life, or anything like that.

Ok. Thank god someone understands me.

Fair enough if you disagree.

You’ve only engaged with the not liking children bit though. Any thoughts on the rejection of the human race as a whole?

Interesting.

The thing is, men are a subcategory of humans which has been massively problematic for women, so as a woman, it is not necessarily unreasonable to be reluctant to engage with that subcategory.

But children are everyone!

Declaring yourself “men-free” and waxing lyrical about how awful they are as a group and you don’t see how anyone can bear them - yes, actually pretty horrible and offensive.

Pointing out (as you did) that in many cases the way men interact with you tend to be less enjoyable- no, not horrible or offensive.

Yes, I get where you are coming from.

A pp really didn’t like it when I suggested that the rejection of the human race was a slightly childish or undeveloped ideology. But yo some extent I think it is.

No, I don’t think it’s normal. Why would anyone have children if you don’t actually like them as a class of people? Particularly since having your own children means you’ll need to spend time with other children?

I like children. That’s why I wanted my own. Obviously I adore mine. But I love my nieces and nephews and I’m genuinely very, very fond of my friends’ children and my children’s friends. And I generally like children and being around them. Being a parent would be pretty unbearable otherwise.

So yes, I always think people who say that are trying to be a bit cool. ‘Yes, I have kids but I’m not one of those boring MUMS.’

So many people apparently don't understand you, to the point where you have thanked God one of the posters does. But you are still calling posters annoying for apparently misunderstanding them or accusing them of posting in bad faith.

Maybe you just didn't make as much sense as you seem to think you make.

And yet so many people did understand.

It’s almost as if people pick away at minor points when something has hit a nerve, rather than engaging on the actual point.

I do not dislike children; nevertheless, given a choice I prefer not to be around them. Similarly, while I do not dislike humans, there are specific human behaviors that I don't like.

I do prefer animals to people simply because their needs are more basic which makes them less complex in my eyes and therefore provides an escape from the chaos of everyday life.

Having said that I have friends (some with children) who I enjoy spending time with and a very 'people' orientated job, which I thoroughly enjoy.

I recognise that while I want people in my life I also enjoy the solitude of being away from people, some of the time. Best of both worlds...........

@OriginalBin yes but when lots of people claim that ‘they hate people’ they mean it in the sense that people cause anxiety or they aren’t very sociable. Lots of people don’t like children either - not because they are misanthropes, just because children behave in a specific way because they are kids.

Ok, what about people who say things like this then (all real examples): "I hate the baby stage"; "I love babies and children, but I can't stand toddlers. The meltdowns!"; "You think toddlers are hard, try teenagers! Hate teenagers, can't wait for mine to cone out the other side!".

Everyone is a baby, a toddler, a child, a teenager... but still, these seem like OK things to say. Of course the people who say these things are being hyperbolic, they actually do have at leasts some people in each of these categories that they love. But what they are trying to communicate - perhaps, with some exaggeration - is that in general they don't much enjoy the traits common to this stage of development. People who say they don't like children mean this, but for everyone below a certain age.

As to the humanity in general, I did actually comment on this ealier on - I think it's a bit silly if they mean nobody is good enough or interesting enough for them. But if they just mean that in general they prefer their own company and don't mucn enjoy the company of others, I mean, fine. I've had stages of feeling a bit like this when I was depressed, so I understand it, although for me it was a passing thing and I like people (and children!) in general.

If they mean that humanity destroys things of natural beauty and the planet would be better off reducing its population, then I think they're right. And the whole "hur hur hur hur why dontcha kill yaself then pal?" response isn't half as clever as the people who use it think it is - you can think that it would be better for there to be less people, or it would be better had the population stayed at the levels it was in the 1800s, without wanting to cause harm to the people alive today.

Sure.

Thank you!

👆

I work with one of these but she only wants humans to die out when she's gone. I just smile and change the subject

Same way you can pick up your own dogs shit because you love him but dont make a hobby out of going around picking up all dog shit.

I don't 'hate' children, I don't love any other than my own though. I do not want someone elses child rubbing diseases on me (yes they all are bloody walking petri dishes in the young stages).

That doesn't mean I didn't want to experience pregnancy, feel unconditional love, creating an entire living being and raising a good adult (since thats only that 'child' part for a small time).

I did use to think I hated other children when younger but on reflection realized I hate shit parents who don't control their wild children. Most children are actually fairly unobjectionable from a distance, I just don't want them touching me or latching on to me with a never ending dull conversation because we have nothing in common.

Thank you. Yes, I totally see what you mean.

I suppose my motivation for starting the thread was a frustration with a very specific sort of humanity-hating, the sanctimonious kind.

Ha ha! Yes - humans can all die out at some conveniently distant point in the future.

Humans are generally more annoying when they’re children though. So are puppies and kittens. My dog was a right little shit as a puppy and I liked him a lot less than I do now he’s an adult. It’s not their fault, but people are allowed to have the opinion that they’d rather not spend time with small annoying humans. I don’t see how that’s a rejection of humanity any more than me saying puppies are annoying is a rejection of dogs

I think that you can objectively observe that humanity is decimating the planet and damaging other species that inhabit it, because that is a truth.

However, being able to make that observation vs adopting "humanity is a parasite and needs to die out" as a personality are two very different things.

The issue as I see it with threads like this is that they are disingenuous in a way because two people can share the same view but in a completely different way.
Vegans, for example - some get on with their diet because it works for them and only raise it if someone else is going to cook for them or if they're going out for a meal with others.
Some make their entire life about veganism and seek to "educate" wherever they go whether people ask or not.
Two very distinct types with one belief in common.

IMO anybody who adopts a political stance and makes it their entire personality can become a bore and an irritation, but these subjects do come up and people can/should be able to comment on them without the undercurrent that if they hold a particular stance then they're being obnoxious or theres something wrong with them / they cant possibly understand what they're saying.

I agree with you here.

If I'm brutally honest with myself I don't really think much about the environment.

I don't have children and I dislike their company and anything childish. I hated being around kids when I was one and that feeling continued. However, if people want them, then crack on, their choices etc.

My choice is my dog, and other dogs and animals, and my partner. I like a few other adults - my siblings and my dad and my few close friends. The rest I can take or leave.

I have no great feelings towards humanity as a thing. For me, at the age of nearly 50, I find that the old saying "the more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

As for most parents disliking other children, well isn't that normal? Or at least being indifferent to them? Most parents I know like their own, but don't care for others.

I can't help but agree with pp that maybe this probably was a thread aimed at criticising the childfree....