To have no time for ‘anti-human’ people?

[Myfavouritepenguin]

I’ve seen it quite a lot recently- mostly on here rather than in real life admittedly. I’m referring to both the ‘I don’t like children people; I much prefer animals’ contingent as well as the ‘wouldn’t it be better if humans just died out’ approach.

I’ve been trying to pinpoint what it is that irks me, and I think it’s that this attitude seems like a slightly different version of “I’m not like other girls.” - an attempt to separate and elevate and basically look down on everyone else in your category.

The thing is, we are all human. Unless you are literally living off grid with wolves or whatever, you have not opted out of humanity. Whatever makes a human, that is what you are, and you are to some degree or other not only invested in but contributing to the whole operation, children and climate change included.

The answer to humanity’s ills and issues is not to reject everyone else who somehow isn’t as special and above humanity as these people seem to imagine they are!

Your right, you instead phrased it as I think it’s that this attitude seems like a slightly different version of “I’m not like other girls.”

Which in itself is an attempt to separate and denigrate groups of women. It's all misogyny. And really interesting that this is about people who don't like kids,and people who say the earth would be better without humans, but "not like other girls" is what it makes you think of.

I don't think most who talk about humanity as a blight would be willing to consider such a thing. They are often quite self-satisfied.

I couldn’t agree less! People have children because of biology pure and simple. The inherent biological drive to procreate. Remove all hormones and people would not have them, it’s a terrible idea on paper! All species have “children”. Eating and reproducing are the top things that all animals do, both driven by biology.

The biological drive is to have sex. When animals shag they're not planning a pregnancy.

A lot of people prefer animals because they've been badly hurt by people. Not difficult to understand really.

I know what you mean.

See also - the people who say ‘I don’t like any children except my own.’ Soooo cool! Except for starters we all know you’ve copied that from Miranda on Sex and the City and there’s nothing cooler than quoting a 20 year old sitcom.

I especially dislike the posters that argue their dog/cat ( but usually dog) is more important than other people's children

But to them, it is. My cat is more important to me that some random person’s child. Because my cat brings joy to my life whereas a random child does not. I don’t know why people expect their kids to be more important to a random stranger than that stranger’s own pet (a member of their family).

You're completely unreasonable because these are too completely different things:

I don’t like children; I much prefer animals
wouldn’t it be better if humans just died out

There is nothing wrong with saying that you don't like children, or other people, and prefer animals. I know men and women who say this. What they mean is that they like company of animals, but don't like talking or entertaining others. I guess it's weird out of context to compare children and animals, but the actual preference is fine. I like children, but not animals. I don't mean that I hate animals, I just mean that I don't like spending time with them.

The second thing is a bit silly.

No, of course not.

It's the inference that groups of people who say they don't like children, prefer animals is giving "I'm not like other girls", and that it's an attempt to act superior or separate to anyone else. The one that it's not just personal preference but an attempt to separate yourself from your sex and look down in your sex that has gotten to me. That particular example and comparison.

I've never seen Sex and the City but isn't this also a pretty standard, normal thing to feel? It would never occur to me that someone who said this was trying to be cool. Part of why you have that crazy love for your kids is that kids are hard work, and you need the love to look after them well.

I don't think humans are a positive for the planet and I wouldn't be sad if we died out but I don't feel strongly enough about it to personally top myself.

Ack - I think it mostly comes from a place of fear (of our future) or disappointment (in our past).

Ultimately, it the vast crimes humans are capable of, this seems like very small fry.

I think the term "childfree" is borderline offensive. And I don't find much language offensive.

If you took any other category of people, women, the elderly, the disabled, whatever, and used it in the same way, people would think it was wildly inappropriate.

it's legitimate not to want to be a parent. And if you don't enjoy being with children, you don't. Some people don't like interacting with the homeless, or intellectually disabled, or old people. It is what it is.

But they would be rightly criticized if they started talking about wanting to live a elder-free life, or anything like that.

Just say you don't have kids, don't want them, or aren't a parent.

How old is ‘ole

Of course there is a biological drive to raise young, otherwise the mother would just abandon their young after birth, but instead the mother (and sometimes the father) are driven to try and ensure their survival to adulthood.

Actually this is amazing, I might start refering to beign "husbandfree" or "man-free" as opposed to "intentionally single".

Not as old as you'd like!

"’I'm referring to both the ‘I don’t like children people; I much prefer animals’ contingent as well"

I haven't said "I hate all children"
I identified myself as one of those people who as per your original post prefers animals to children.

If you want to debate people who "say they hate all children" then say so at the outset.

Other than that, yes, preferring animals to children is about as banal a life choice as marmite and marmalade.
We don't all have to like the same things.

@fitzwilliamdarcy

I’ve never met a person who says they hate kids. I’ve seen some who say they don’t like them. Is that OK, OP? It’s just that you’re saying that we don’t have to love all members of a group but it feels like we have to at least like them all, to pass your test of not being a pick me girl?

Well, saying you don’t like kids is not a million miles away from saying you hate kids…

But as for the rest of your post, you misunderstand me. I’m not saying anything about how we must or must not feel about any individuals. We don’t have to like every person! I’m taking issue with the wholesale rejection of humanity. That’s rather different.

I have not used the phrase ‘pick me girl’ either 🙄

Why though? Are women not allowed to like different things? Must we all be the same or it must be that we’re trying to ‘be better’ than other women? Sounds like you’re taking other peoples views as a personal attack.
Not all women have to adore children and it’s misogynistic to suggest they should. Is it ok for men not to like children, or are they trying to ‘be better’ than other men?

I think the term "childfree" is borderline offensive. And I don't find much language offensive.

For goodness sake. The word doesn’t mean we want to be free of the plague that is children. It’s to denote that we’ve made a choice not to have them (as opposed to not having had a choice, which is generally incredibly painful). The distinction is necessary as the issues are different.

I agree 100%. I was anti human when I was a teenager, I grew out of it. it's usually steeped in classism and racism, as well

it is exactly like 'im not like other girls' you are right. and people moaning about the traffic, when they ARE the traffic

Oh for goodness sake! My use of this analogy seems to have thrown you into a tailspin.

To clarify. The ‘I’m not like other girls’ is a misogynistic stance. I’m tempted to think that it only exists as a trope because male writers put in in Hollywood films. But even if an actual woman says it, it is misogynistic. It’s then internalised misogyny. I would still defend a woman’s use of it, because the whole ‘pick me’ (there, I’ve said it) mentality only came about because women were forced to compete with each other for male attention in a patriarchy. Yes.

But none of this is really relevant to my thread! Neither is the whole ‘child free’ debate tbh.

Have to say, I don’t think I have ever encountered anyone who has a ‘ wholesale rejection of humanity’.

Met plenty who may have been treated unfairly or horribly, and they may have a distrust of other humans, but I think that often they would want to be proven wrong.

Who are all these rejectionists ? ( I may have just made that word up )

I do prefer animals to people but I understand other people prefer people to animals. I can't help it - it is just the way I am.

I do sometimes day dream about setting up my own homestead in the middle of nowhere with minimal interaction with other people.

If I had a choice to press a button that instantly wiped out the entire human race or made it so we had never existed I probably would press it....

Yeah but it’s offensive to other people (normal proper women) who are completely unaffected by our choices but still deeply upset if we are allowed to be happy about not having children…