Sorry, ANOTHER babies at weddings thread, but I would like your views on this - AIBU?

[champagnesupernova]

I have a q good friend (ex-colleague, she was my boss but we've kept in touch) who's a good deal older than me, been big on career and so never got round to having kids.

Having been with her man for over ten years he finally gets round to popping the question and setting the date.

She tells me this the day I've arranged to meet her to tell her I'm pg with number 1. Big all round

Turns out the date of the wedding is 3-4 weeks after my baby's due.

As I said we're q good friends, so imagine my delight when a save the date card comes.

And then the invitation arrives addressed to Mr and Mrs Supernova (no mention of the bump, but it's not born yet)

I reply very early and in the reply card I put "Mr and Mrs Supernova and infant" and add a note saying I know planning a wedding is v complicated, just want to say that as it's so early and I"m planning on b/fing I'll have the baby with me, but I've heard they sleep for ages so hopefully it won't be a problem Wanted to check you're okay with this.

Met up with her today and said are you okay with this.

She's not and basically doesn't want us to come as she's worried about saying no to other people with babies and not us and annoying the other guests (most of whose kids will be grownup)

I am really really really by this.

She invited us. Knowing we were going to have a brand new baby. She could have just not invited us and said they were having probs with numbers and I wouldn't have been any the wiser. Now I feel that I've misread the invitation and that I've been UNINVITED.

AIBU?

i think.

an you can relaz chapoagne that she will regret it bitterly.
id wirte her a letter (use her fullname if you dont - ie katherine not katie - thatll make the point)

saying that you are sorry she feels you cant coem and you hope she has a great day.

signed
youllregret dissing me.com

rofl at dissingme.com

or just the full horse's head in the bridal suite?

Honestly I don't think you're being unreasonable but I don't think your friend is either. I think it's just misscommunication. (sp). I wouldn't fall out over it, just let your friend have her wedding and you stay home with the baby. Maybe when she comes back from honeymoon you could get together and she could share the wedding photoraphs with you and coo over your new arrival.

of course they do! It's very common and totally acceptable if it's made clear at the outset. My new sister in law had a big wedding last year and they only allowed the direct family kids and asked everyone else to leave theirs at home - it was totally accepted even if it was unpopular - this meant people from all over UK had to leave kids with inlaws and babysitters - but alot of them were pleased to be able to enjoy a mini-break! Why would you want to go to a wedding 4 weeks after giving birth - it's breast-feeding friendly outfit - loads of hanging about and stress if the baby cries all over the wedding video.

NO FRIGGING WAY

DISS THE BITCH

whats her name

its a NEWBORN
not a 2 week old

arf
i meant 2 year old

yeah send her a curse in Italian too 'may all your children arrive in time for your loved one's funerals and see how you like it...' Only I can't speak Italian...

She just doesn't get it. I don t think you do before you have kids of your own. Two lots of friends married when I had a small baby and wouldn t let me bring him. I just couldn't help feeling slighted and angry at their lack of understanding. End of friendship each time.

yes

neworns should be exempt..its toddlers who are the trouble...

and surely the OP's dh could have it in a pram walking up and down outside whilst the vows are being said.

I took dd3 to a wedding when she was 6 wks old...she never made a peep

newborns even

champagnesupernova you O.K ?

Sorry.

I've sung as part of a choir at more weddings than you can shake a stick at.

The bullcrap being spouted about newborns being no bother, is just that... bullcrap.

If they've said no kids, then it is incredibly RUDE and abominably BAD MANNERS to take one, even a newborn.

When you've sat and listened to someones baby SCREAM through the vows at the amount of weddings i have, you can understand why people don't want children at their weddings.

Nevermind Bridzilla.. i think someone hit it on the head.. people like TortoiseSHELL are the ultimate GUESTZILLA.

You didn't pay for it, you didn't write the invites, its none of your damn business who they invite and don't invite.. nor is it any of your business if they've asked for it to be childfree.

The OP's invite was adressed to her and her DH, not "& Family" and that is the end of it.

The OP was BU to assume that her child was included on the invite, as is anyone else who assumes their kids are automatically invited.

Well Kaishay, I can say as an organist who has played at more weddings than I can 'shake a stick at', I've never noticed a NEWBORN being a nuisance. Toddlers yes. Older children yes. But a NEWBORN (and we're talking about a couple of weeks old here) - they are not going to be a pain. And if they are, you just take them out. It's not difficult.

I've always said that I wouldn't be offended if someone told me that I couldn't take my children to their wedding, provided that they wouldn't be offended if I couldn't make it as a result.

I'm pg with my first though, so I may well take a totally different viewpoint when the first post-baby wedding invitation arrives!

TBH I think it is unreasonable to expect a mother not to bring a 4 week old baby to a wedding - when they're that young and BF they need to be with their mothers. I don't think you were unreasonable to respond with your reply or to be slightly miffed. I also think that other people with children would understand that a newborn is different and would have no problem with that.

I think that some childless people really don't get the baby thing.

Kaishay I would agree with you if the child were older but at 2 weeks it is not reasonable to part a mother and baby.

Yes that's it elasticwoman. I am not saying 'sod what the couple want, take a whole tribe of children', I am saying that it is unreasonable to expect a mother to be parted from her 2-4 week old baby who will in all likelihood sleep through the whole thing. And I stand by that.

So please don't call me a 'guestzilla'. When my friends last year got married, I left my 3 at my relatives' house with dh, and didn't go to the reception because they explained their reasons (it was basically because of cost and would have involved paying for 40 children). But they would have been happy for my 7 month year old, as he wouldn't have had any cost implication. I am not someone who makes a habit of spoiling people's weddings, but I equally don't think getting married gives you a licence to be completely selfish and inconsiderate to others.

No, which is why i told my BFF.. the woman who'd been my own Maid of Honour that i wouldn't be attending her wedding if DS had arrived.

As i said earlier in the thread, i was due ON her wedding day... had i still been pregnant, i would have gone, but as DS decided to arrive early, i didn't feel up to going.

I think anyone who feels good enough to doll up and drag a newborn out to a wedding must be wonder woman.. it took me six weeks to heal and feel even vaguely like going anywhere.

The issue here isn't taking a newborn to a wedding, the issue here is presuming that because you have a newborn you should be exempt from a "No-Children" request.

If you can't be parted from your child, STAY HOME!

And being invited to somebodys wedding doesn't give you the right to be selfish, bad mannered and inconsiderate to the B&G's wishes for how they'd like their wedding and reception to be.

How the hell is it selfish to ask if you can take a newborn? Like I have said a thousand times on this thread IT WOULD NOT AFFECT THE BRIDE AND GROOM.

Am going to leave this thread now, am getting too angry!

kaishay go and sing somehting

f ar far away

BIN THE BARREN BITCH>