People are always 'meh' about me

[Dooooooooo]

As well as social care I've also got over 10 years of experience in education, in teaching and support roles. I see many teachers/support staff like TAs with walls full of cards from students thanking them for being such an inspiration, they've changed their life and so on. Students crying when they leave, bags full of chocolates and gifts.
I've never received anything like that. That said, I received a 'thank you ' email from 2 A level students this year and that meant a lot. But generally, nothing.
It really shouldn't matter, I know, I've worked in this job because I enjoy helping people.
I worked a lot with A level students as part of one department, however because I wasn't a teacher I was completely excluded from the department. I was there for almost a full academic year but I had absolutely nothing to do with them, I was never included in anything which hurt. On my last day there this year it was just like, ok thanks, cya! From them.
I think it's because I don't have a 'big' personality as such, even though I am conscientious, hardworking and caring in my eyes.
A previous coursemate had also worked with an A level group, she told me they were crying when she left and that they've all met for coffee since, I just thought wtf?
This extends to friendships too. I've always had time to listen to people, when they've had a break up or any sort of issue I've listened to them and supported them. I've never mistreated them or put them down, I've always been kind and there for them.
I don't have a large home to offer them space, I don't have a ton of money to spend on them but I have always given them time.
Still, everyone's too busy, nobody really asks how I am anymore or has any interest in meeting, except for one friend but I think that's more as she wants to recruit me into religion (that's another friend).
I'm sorry if this sounds entitled, I've felt this way for years. I do think it's because I don't have bags of charisma and I'm not one of those big bubbly personalities, even though I still think I'm friendly, polite and kind.
It just gets me down sometimes. What to do really.

Maybe you just haven't found the right friends group for you yet. I have often felt as you do but now I have friends who understand what this feels like.Like-minded people are out there. Don't give up. You dont need lots of friends but you need to learn to be happy with who you are. I am reading Quiet - The Power of the Introvert in a World that Talks Too Much. It might make you feel better.

Are you a teacher though or are you supporting a teacher? Cause nearly all parents I know (and I work in a primary school) parents will only buy for teachers. My son has his primary teacher and an assistant, but he has a separate teacher for p.e, Spanish and music but I and all the other parents only ever buy for the main teacher and we don't even buy for the music teacher or anything otherwise it's just too expensive.

What's your job? Are you one to one? Support staff? I've found my role within a school has had a big impact on how parents (younger children) view my impact.

I’m reasonably confident and outgoing and in a big popular group of people when younger. However as I’ve got older I’ve have felt a bit on the edge and maybe less included and invited than others.
Ive taken a step back though and I’ve realised you can’t always be the invitee you need to sometimes be the inviter or instigator and then next time it gets reciprocated. Im still not very good at it as I’m worried about looking silly or people saying no. But when I’ve observed others it’s definitely the case.
Try seeing casually if someone wants to go for coffee. Be the one that suggests going for lunch. Bring in some treats to work it starts conversations

Have you considered that the students that do gravitae towards you, the ones who admire you and will miss you are the ones that are perhaps quieter, more reserved and much less like to show big emotions in public eg crying because you left.

There are so many times I wish I had had the courage to tell someone how grateful I was for their support but I didn't know how to/ wanted to remain professional/was too

You sound very nice but as others have mentioned somebody being “nice” isn’t what makes other people want to be friends with someone.

It sounds like you have quite a formal personality, if that makes sense? Helpful, polite, etc… that’s the sort of relationship I’d want to have with a client or a customer service representative. I’d want something more intimate and personal and open with a friend. If people see you just in this professional, detached capacity they probably are less likely to think of you as somebody to socialise with or go to events with.

However, there will be other people who want the same kind of friendship as you! I think you need to try some meet-ups and clubs relating to your interests to meet likeminded people.

I find that the people I make strong bonds with are the ones I've let my guard down a bit with and shown a vulnerable side, maybe by sharing with them something I struggle with. I am also gairly quiet and calm person, more of a listener and quite sensitive (classic introvert) but the times I click are the times I've been more open. It only happens now and then, when I like someone enough to trust them. Then I find they usually do the same and share stuff with me more. If we happen to have similar interests or sense of humour then that's hoe friendships usually follow for me. But I have met many many people, having moved around a lot, and there are very few people I click with in this way.

As an ex teacher and a total introvert, I could've written this myself! It used to really knock my confidence when other staff would receive piles of cards and gifts at the end of the year and I'd be lucky to get one. I wasn't disliked by students, but I just felt unimportant.

I don't have any close friends and my social life is with my little family. I crave the meaningful friendships that I see my siblings have with people. I guess I'm just trying to say that you're not alone. I'm mid 40s and still trying to find my tribe - or even just one person.

I think most people are fascinating. Everyone is a science experiment. We are all this culmination of DNA and and life experiences. I love learning what makes people laugh until they snort, or cry, or irritates the shit out of them. I make friends easily and I think (hope) my genuine interest people comes across.

Op I completely understand I’ve always been the same myself on the quieter side, always considerate checks in with people makes sure there ok boot on the other foot? Nobody bothers. I have two close friends who are brilliant and a decent family.

My MIL mesmerises me, the woman could literally talk to anybody, I can chat to like minded people but Christ that woman could get anyone talking 🤣🤣

this situation reminds me of my sons TA (he’s SEN) lovely woman on the quieter side there was a school trip I went as my son needed extra support. This lady was practically ignored by the rest of the extroverted teachers, left out, expected to do all the dirty work. The lady ended up leaving and not telling a soul until the day she was going and I didn’t blame her with what I witnessed. She was one of the best too, but overlooked because she was on the quieter side.

You sound lovely, and exactly the sort of regulated, calm and mild mannered people depend on without realising it. You’re probably one of the main cogs that keep the school going.

Try not to get disheartened by not being the popular one, as usually these are the people that one day are suddenly not popular.