Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

[Havanawinter]

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS.

When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

Yabu to abandon a small child in a public place.
Ditto purse and keys.
Ditto asking a stranger to look out for your child.
Do you not realise children are at risk every day?
A stupid error of judgement I hope you never repeat.

I was once out on my own with my 3DC, we had just been for check ups ant dentist and went to eat lunch out. We were quite early so were the only ones there. They were 3, 6 & 7.
halfway through, I needed the toilet. I was trying to get them to come with me and they were complaining they didn’t need to go, and the waitress overheard and offered to watch them at the table.
i went down and while in the bathroom, the 3 year old turned up needing the toilet, followed by the 7 year old. Leaving the middle child upstairs at the table alone.
well we got back to the table and carried on with the meal but something seemed off, it took a while but Then I realised while we were all gone middle child had swapped around pizza slices, finished my Diet Coke and replaced it with water, hidden things under the table - but it was all done in such a way it took a minute to realise lol.

2 minutes was all Robert Thompson and Jon Venables needed in a shopping centre during the day. It's unlikely but not impossible. Also what about if the child slipped off the chair and hit their head/felt sick/got a nosebleed/felt scared/needed the toilet themselves and wandered off. There are sooooo many things that can happen in 2 minutes to a young child which could put them in dangerous situations.

I have a child the same age and wouldn’t dream of leaving them. I would have taken them with me.

And about 20 years ago I worked behind a bar at a health club and a Dad said to me ‘can you watch him for 5 mins and pointed at his son?’ I kind of nodded and he buggered off god knows where, I was busy, waiting tables and after 5 mins I realised the boy was gone. I sprinted outside and found him in the car park wandering around looking for his Dad. It pissed me off that this was my responsibility. I was only about 20.

This reminds me of the time I was watching my 8 yr old son play football in the park. I was chatting to the mum of another boy who was playing and her (her son) came off the pitch saying he needed the loo. She turned to me and asked me if I could keep an eye on a young girl who was in a pushchair next to her, happily playing away with something. She said the girls mum (who she knew and I didn't) had asked her to look after her while she went to the shop. I thought nothing of it and said "sure".

No sooner had this mum disappeared with her son to the loos, than the girl in the pushchair, who looked about 4 or 5, got out of her chair and started walking off across the grass. I didn't even know her name! So, I'm following her to bring her back, saying "little girl, stop, come with me" and she has no clue who I am and is starting to run. People are looking...

And then her mum appeared to find her daughter being chased down by a strange man... I was mortified and tried to mumble an explanation but I could tell it wasn't going down well

You're all fucking nuts and it is literally no wonder we are raising over anxious, completely dependant adults..

I would leave my 4 year old in this situation. Especially with another mother near by!

FFS. Which is why OP asked another parent to keep an eye.

I'm more shocked that you left your phone purse and keys unattended!

I would not have left him

Child would of come to the toilet with me. Far to young to be left alone.

Sorry but I wouldn't have left my 5 year old or my valuables!

2 minutes was all Robert Thompson and Jon Venables needed in a shopping centre during the day. It's unlikely but not impossible

Some people on here seriously need to understand risk analysis, this happened over 30 years ago and was an extreme situation - hence everyone remembering it and referencing it 30 years later.

Do you never get in a car? Or leave the house? Or actually leave bed? As more kids die in the home than anywhere.

Also what about if the child slipped off the chair and hit their head

oh fuck off!

From these kind of threads I really worry that we’re raising a nation of children that can’t look after themselves for a minute - then everyone complains how shit they are as adults

I wouldn’t leave my 5 year old in a restaurant alone while I went to the loo. What if the fire alarm went off? Or they decided to wander? Or someone saw the chance to steal your purse? Just take them with you.

Someone finally talking sense.

Either go in, go to the loo then order/seat yourselves, or go at the end. No need to add any risk in the mix IMO

And if you can't wait?

Or if you have another child with you who can't wait?

I recently worked an event in a busy market and there was a little girl and her brother who came to do our drop-in activity, well the mum just wandered off like we were a crèche! The boy was around 10 and he wandered off half way through, shortly after the girl (5 or 6) went to follow and I had a moment of panic because it was crowded and I didn’t have eyes on the mum. In the end I decided to abandon my activity, which I was being paid for, to make sure this girl was reunited with her mum. Followed her about 2 mins until I saw her mum and waved at her. The girl could have easily missed her and ended up the other side of the market. The mum shouted at the brother for leaving and no apology or thanks 🙄

I really don't want to scare people but many years ago I had conversations with at least three people which made me realise that there might be someone in your area who knows your habits; they know when you leave your house in the morning, what time you get back etc etc. So it wouldn't be a stretch for such a person to know that you are in the habit of leaving your child unattended - even for a few minutes. I know this sounds paranoid but it comes from conversations I had with people at neighbourhood events who related information to me about myself - they were total strangers.

A man once told me that when he was young he would see a girl he liked the look of and would start to follow her. He said that he had no intention of talking to her or anything and looking back as an older man he had no idea about why he did that.

I used to think that my mother was overly cautious and would laugh at her ideas about things like this, but an accumulation of experiences over the years have made me quite cautious too. That doesn't mean that I don't get on and do things or enjoy my life, but it does mean that I am aware of what's out there.

This is a stranger, not a friend.

What was the other parent to do in those situations?