Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

[Havanawinter]

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS.

When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

Exactly. She was obviously concerned that a very young child was left unsupervised. For longer than "two minutes", I would guess.

I'm sure you didn't think too much about it but please don't do it again

I'd be happy the waitress was looking out for your son and take this as a lesson and move on

There's your sanctimony.

You should have taken the child with you.

I wouldn't leave a 5 year old unless it was an emergency, and i think you were unreasonable asking the other Mum to watch your kid as its not her responsibility, i think by age 8 its ok, but the waitress over reacted.

Fucking hell. The level of paranoia on here is off the scale. Cut himself with a knife? 'Horrified' at asking someone to keep an eye? 😂

No big deal. You know your child, he was fine.

I’m sure I have done this with my son who’s exactly the same age. He loves little glimpses of independence!

I don't think it's an issue for you to leave a 5 year old for a few minutes with another parent aware that you've left and are coming back.

I once got chatting to a lady in a sports centre and as she was so happy to see my baby I asked if she'd like to hold her while I went to the loo. In that moment I weighed up the risk (lady in 60s, waiting for her friends to come and join her in the cafe for a coffee after their aqua fit class) and decided there was a minuscule risk that she would harm or abduct my child. She was thrilled and sure enough she was sitting quite happily cuddling her when I returned a few minutes later.

5 feels a tad too little. I’d let my 7yo but not my 4yo. My eldest is very responsible and my youngest a liability. Some of that is personality rather than age but my 4yo would not be out of my sight in public under any circs and can’t imagine being happy to do that at 5 with her.

I would have taken my child with me.
The other diner could have been easily distracted by her own children and notice your child wonder off.

I would have taken my child with me.

No. The waitress was not the idiot here.

At 5, DS was happier to be left to continue what he was doing than to be regularly lugged off with his small-bladdered little brother and jammed into a cubicle together.
He wasn't and would never be the type of child to be happy to wander off with a random person and would scream blue murder about being compelled to do anything not on his agenda for the day.

I'd let staff know, and there was never an issue with it. We tended to frequent the same places and be recognised anyway.

The child wasn't left unsupervised. He was left in the care of another parent.

Hardly "in the care of"...

I wouldn't have personally left my child at the table but I do think we've all gone at bit to paranoid these days. My mum used to leave us outside shops in our buggies, that used to be the done thing as the prams wouldn't fit.
Being a mum these days is so hard.

Well yes, she could, I suppose, but most parents aren't so lax when it comes to children they've agreed to supervise. I wouldn't take my friend's DC out for the day and left them wander off.

The lady at the next table was asked to keep an eye. Presumably she agreed. I would definitely say that was "in the care of".

Had there been a fire, I would evacuate a child I'd been asked to keep an eye on alongside my own, for instance.

I would say it’s certainly in the care of. The other diner had agreed to watch over her son for a couple of mins.

I would’ve taken the child with me no way could I leave them alone under the supervision of a stranger!

Wouldn't have done that..nor left my bag etc.

Yes this is what I think too

I was walking to the school on my own (literally 5 minutes) as six yo, so I don't see the issue.
And yes, I would be ok to keep an eye, these small acts of support make the everyday life easier.

I would never ever leave my 4 and 6 year olds on their own in a restaurant when I went to the loo. If we are out together just the 3 of us and one of us needs the loo, we all go. I also certainly wouldn't announce to a stranger on the next table I was doing so.
I think the waitresses reaction is odd, but I do think you're BU leaving him unattended at 5, yes. It only takes a split second for something to happen.