I know this sounds a bit barmy but I've been doing a lot of reflecting recently and I realised that men have overwhelmingly brought negative things into my life.
I made a list of the male friends and relationships I've had in the past and I realised there were only 5 who were good men who brought something positive and there were many who harmed me. I'm almost 40 and single.
I've been raped in what I thought were safe relationships. I've been sexually assaulted on multiple occasions, both by strangers and male friends. I've been harassed and catcalled a lot. Two male friends (both partnered) I made in the last few years ended up sexually harassing me. Not the first (or second) time either. My (male) neighbour in my last home harassed me to the point I had to go to the police.
I've had partnered and married men make passes at me over and over to the point that I don't make friends with couples anymore.
The men I've hired in a business or work context have not brought much positive either.
I do have one close male friend who I trust. But I'm thinking that I'm going to have a policy of no more male friends and stop looking for relationships...I'm going to be single and accept it.
At one point I thought this has to be my fault that the men that show up in my world are not that great. But now I'm getting to age 40 I'm starting to reconsider that it's actually them.
I plan to put my energy into female friendships only. I'm in a very female centred line of work and only work with women which is nice. I stopped hiring men for other jobs e.g. around the house if I can work with a woman instead.
I gave up a hobby I had that brings me into contact with a lot of men.
I know women are not all perfect either, but here's the thing. I've never been assaulted, sexually harmed, harassed, catcalled, verbally abused, or had an unwanted pass made at me by a woman.
It's clear that some men are unsafe to be around and that's reason enough to avoid the whole lot of them.
What do you think?