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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to insist bathroom window stays shut in winter

159 replies

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 21:36

I've got a new lodger and she's been putting on the heating in her room (can control individual bedroom heating) but she will leave the bathroom window open all the time.

I don't think it's a bad thing to leave the bathroom window open, however it's a bit contradictory - she's always cold and the bathroom window needs to be open all year round. The shower doesn't have a door and it can be cold, so it's not the best in winter generally as despite an extractor fan it's best if the window is also opened (or at least after you've showered).

I hate confrontation but I can see her being "cold" in winter and using up lots of gas and as well as keeping the upstairs bathroom window open.

AIBU to expect it to be shut the majority of the day?

OP posts:
nameitagain · 14/08/2023 23:01

OP have you actually asked her to shut it? What does she say?

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:02

UpaladderwatchingTV · 14/08/2023 22:56

It sounds to me like you and your lodger are not compatible OP, just give her notice. Then, before you agree to let someone else lodge with you, think about the rules that you want them to live by, and ensure they are well aware of them - issue them in writing, and ask them to sign their agreement. Simple!

Why would I do that? There are always differences in how people live...

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:03

nameitagain · 14/08/2023 23:01

OP have you actually asked her to shut it? What does she say?

It's summer so no

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:04

nameitagain · 14/08/2023 22:54

Can't you get the window latch modified so it only opens to the latch point and no further. People banging on about having ventilation seem to think you need the window wide open. You don't. Ajar in the latch is plenty for ventilation.

Not sure I can do that. After a shower I'm the window does need to be fully opened

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:04

nameitagain · 14/08/2023 22:54

Can't you get the window latch modified so it only opens to the latch point and no further. People banging on about having ventilation seem to think you need the window wide open. You don't. Ajar in the latch is plenty for ventilation.

Yes I don't understand why people think the window needs to be fully open. Trickle vents are fine.

OP posts:
Threenow · 14/08/2023 23:16

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:20

What country are you in?

Show quote history

NZ

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:18

@Threenow in Tas and Melb lots of bathrooms aren't heated and it gets cold in winter...,

OP posts:
Threenow · 14/08/2023 23:19

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:35

@cruffinsmuffin it's not "banning" window opening. I just can't justify a constant stream of cold air being in the house in the form of a large open window. (Bathroom window is huge).

Surely you also think it's unreasonable that I find it cold to shower or do a poo or wash my face in an un heated room, especially in a cold house.... I can't justify having a radiator running in that room if the heat is going out of the window.

So I'm asking why it would be open...

I do all those things in an unheated room, except for showering, and I only have the (fan) heater running in summer to get rid of the steam.

Threenow · 14/08/2023 23:21

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:18

@Threenow in Tas and Melb lots of bathrooms aren't heated and it gets cold in winter...,

I know, they aren't heated here either unless people are showering, most people have some form of bathroom heater but they aren't on all the time.

tillyandmilly · 14/08/2023 23:26

Heating on! Are you in the UK. Its very sultry in the UK ! I have all my windows open even my french doors to get some breeze ? I tend to leave my vathroom window all the time because of condensation and it gets very hot in there

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/08/2023 23:28

I’m so confused by this thread.

Never change @mumsnet 🤣

Sighhhhh · 14/08/2023 23:29

OP, just don’t have a lodger. I know I would not enjoy living with a lodger or having to bite my tongue over reasonable but irritating (to me) behaviour…so I don’t have a lodger.

You do not seem to be the right fit to have a lodger.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 14/08/2023 23:33

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:02

Why would I do that? There are always differences in how people live...

Show quote history

Because that way they know what you expect of them. Come on OP, it's hardly rocket science, and of course there are differences in how people live, it's you that's moaning about them!! I was just trying to find a solution for you, but wish I hadn't bothered now.

billybear · 14/08/2023 23:48

heating on in august ,not in my house lol

Frabbits · 14/08/2023 23:51

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 23:03

It's summer so no

Show quote history

I mean... just wait until winter and see if it's an issue.

If it is, just say "oh, do you mind shutting the window in the bathroom once you are done in the shower, just to stop the heat getting out".

You know, like most people would just do.

topnoddy · 15/08/2023 07:32

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:26

Use a torch
Buying a torch costs money
A shelf will need to be found to keep it on
Both hands are full on a regular basis that carrying a torch is impossible and impractical
The batteries cost money
Rechargable batteries would cost money to charge

(I'm joking obviously)

What about a head torch ?

Superglue the windows shut and jobs a good un

Not sure about the elephant in the attic though

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 07:35

YABU.
Windows need to be opened all year round - not all day but at least briefly. Keep vents open too unless it's really windy, they're there for a reason.

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 15/08/2023 10:22

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 07:35

YABU.
Windows need to be opened all year round - not all day but at least briefly. Keep vents open too unless it's really windy, they're there for a reason.

No they don't:

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 15/08/2023 10:23

billybear · 14/08/2023 23:48

heating on in august ,not in my house lol

Yep I know :/

OP posts:
Sjh15 · 15/08/2023 15:23

I’d worry about why she needs the heating on in august, that would be my first addressing.
You don’t need to give her the reasons about it being dark and all of that as it does sound like excuses - simply tell her heating is really expensive and too expensive to have on in summer (assuming you’re in the uk, apologies if not)
but given you’re asking how we all do it - winter, heating on, window constantly on latch in bathroom so open but really small. Summer, heating off, window open pretty much 24/7 but we can lock it open so it isn’t wide open like on a bigger latch. So the bathroom window stays some sort of open all the time, irrelevant if heating is on or not. In really cold winter we will close it completely overnight. The bathroom door stays closed all the time. I live in a flat.

Sjh15 · 15/08/2023 15:25

Meant to say, my reason for window open is sometimes bathrooms smell, we have the door shut so air can get in. We have a toddler and nappy bins can smell, showers cause wetness everywhere if the bathroom door is open it can come into the flat, just shuts the bathroom off from the rest of the place that isn’t big.

ForeverWinter · 15/08/2023 15:43

Our bathroom window is always open, we only ever close it when we go away. We shut the bathroom door though so it doesn't really affect the rest of the house..

I'm curious though if you don't have a window and rely on it for light what do you do in deep winter when it's dark by 4pm? Say it's a cloudy night and theres no moonlight..do you just fumble around in the dark?

YellowDots · 15/08/2023 15:50

No they don't:

I think they do. I definitely open my windows every day all year round. In the winter I open my bedroom window while I'm having breakfast and close it before I go to work.

The bathroom window is almost always open all year round.

calmcoco · 15/08/2023 15:52

Perhaps the bathroom smells fusty due to lack of ventilation.
Perhaps the lodger is keen to prevent mould having previously had problems.
Perhaps the lodger opens the window but doesn't think to close it again.

You'll never know unless you speak to the lodger.

It's pretty normal to leave bathroom windows open, so is not like this is in 'weird behaviour' territory.

UghStopSnoring · 15/08/2023 16:13

I would be cold in a house with a window left open 24/7 and don’t think it’s efficient when heating is on. We open our bathroom window after poos and showers and then go back and shut it. I don’t want a cold bathroom.

OP I have read your posts but can’t quite understand. Are you saying the bathroom door has to be left open even during showers and poos? Surely not?!