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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to insist bathroom window stays shut in winter

159 replies

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 21:36

I've got a new lodger and she's been putting on the heating in her room (can control individual bedroom heating) but she will leave the bathroom window open all the time.

I don't think it's a bad thing to leave the bathroom window open, however it's a bit contradictory - she's always cold and the bathroom window needs to be open all year round. The shower doesn't have a door and it can be cold, so it's not the best in winter generally as despite an extractor fan it's best if the window is also opened (or at least after you've showered).

I hate confrontation but I can see her being "cold" in winter and using up lots of gas and as well as keeping the upstairs bathroom window open.

AIBU to expect it to be shut the majority of the day?

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:24

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 14/08/2023 22:21

You don't know my house, the layout, or my living habits. So why do you think you can pass such a comment?

Umm...because you have posted on this thread describing your layout, and your habits....

Now I know for certain you are taking the proverbial 🙄

You don't know the layout of my home..... the age, if it's detached etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:24

crumpet · 14/08/2023 22:23

Use a torch

No thanks. I'm not going to inconvenience myself

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:26

Use a torch
Buying a torch costs money
A shelf will need to be found to keep it on
Both hands are full on a regular basis that carrying a torch is impossible and impractical
The batteries cost money
Rechargable batteries would cost money to charge

(I'm joking obviously)

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:26

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:26

Use a torch
Buying a torch costs money
A shelf will need to be found to keep it on
Both hands are full on a regular basis that carrying a torch is impossible and impractical
The batteries cost money
Rechargable batteries would cost money to charge

(I'm joking obviously)

You know it's unreasonable.....

OP posts:
spitefulandbadgrammar · 14/08/2023 22:28

I’m team bathroom door open for light on the landing, team bathroom window open for ventilation and fresh air, and team passive aggressive silent war with housemates so if they do something you don’t like, you never ever speak of it and simply undo it. She opens the window, you shut it. You can have years of fun!

I don’t think you’re cut out for a lodger, though.

UndercoverCop · 14/08/2023 22:29

You don't need a torch. If you need the bathroom in the night put your bedroom light on, that will illuminate the hall enough for you to get to the bathroom.
Bathroom windows need keeping open and bathroom doors shut, because of damp and smells.

Meredusoleil · 14/08/2023 22:30

Maybe she doesn't like the smell of your bathroom, so has the window constantly open for that reason?!?

ringsaglitter · 14/08/2023 22:32

There's no button to vote?

I think YANBU - mumsnet always puts down the OP lol, HOWEVER I'm a window open all year round person. This really depends on the family though and I've known many peeps who don't 🙂

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:33

You know it's unreasonable...
It wouldn't be the most obvious solution.

But if the obvious solutions about fixing heating, closing the bathroom door and having appropriate lighting are all no go, then the poster's suggestion of a torch to at least mean the bathroom door can be closed is a sensible one.

nameitagain · 14/08/2023 22:33

cruffinsmuffin · 14/08/2023 21:46

OP - have you posted this before? If not a spookily similar thread was up recently I'd give it a read if you can it might be helpful.

YABU imo, windows need to be open for airing in bathrooms in winter even with a fan I find.

What is your lodging contract? Is it inclusive of bills? You can't really bring someone into your house on a contract to rent a room and act totally authoritarian with regards to banning a window being open + overly controlling the heating.

But equally a lodger can't dictate which windows in the public spaces are left open. Ultimately it is the OPs house. Her house, her rules no? Why should the OP be doing what the lodger wants?

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:33

Meredusoleil · 14/08/2023 22:30

Maybe she doesn't like the smell of your bathroom, so has the window constantly open for that reason?!?

Maybe it's something to do with that.... but she also doesn't actively clean it either so I'm not sure.... She's been here 6 months and only cleaned it once. I don't think she used air freshers either

How do you think I get around that?

I get migraines if smelly stuff is used constantly etc and really I think if it's smelly it needs to be cleaned.

I don't think it's smells and it's newly renovated etc.

OP posts:
randomusernam · 14/08/2023 22:34

The issue isn't the window the issue is here putting the heating on. Why don't you just say to her. If she is going to put the heating on while having the window open you are going to have to charge her for the increase in bills? She can then decide what she wants to do?

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:35

@cruffinsmuffin it's not "banning" window opening. I just can't justify a constant stream of cold air being in the house in the form of a large open window. (Bathroom window is huge).

Surely you also think it's unreasonable that I find it cold to shower or do a poo or wash my face in an un heated room, especially in a cold house.... I can't justify having a radiator running in that room if the heat is going out of the window.

So I'm asking why it would be open...

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:37

randomusernam · 14/08/2023 22:34

The issue isn't the window the issue is here putting the heating on. Why don't you just say to her. If she is going to put the heating on while having the window open you are going to have to charge her for the increase in bills? She can then decide what she wants to do?

I also don't want to use a cold bathroom....

OP posts:
Meredusoleil · 14/08/2023 22:39

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:33

Maybe it's something to do with that.... but she also doesn't actively clean it either so I'm not sure.... She's been here 6 months and only cleaned it once. I don't think she used air freshers either

How do you think I get around that?

I get migraines if smelly stuff is used constantly etc and really I think if it's smelly it needs to be cleaned.

I don't think it's smells and it's newly renovated etc.

Show quote history

Pot pourri? A reed diffuser? Incense sticks? Air freshener plug in that goes off at regular intervals?

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:41

@Meredusoleil clean on a regular basis so it doesn't smell? If it smells it's dirty, simple as that.

OP posts:
zurala · 14/08/2023 22:42

She's a lodger, therefore she follows your house rules. I wouldn't have my bathroom window, or any window, open in winter either, so YANBU.

Just tell her, and if she can't do it then give her notice and get a new lodger. I've been both a landlord with a lodger and the lodger, and ultimately it's up to the person who owns the house what happens.

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:43

Can anyone explain how she's "cold" yet also keeps the bathroom window open?

Surely if you are cold you would be shutting windows?

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:44

zurala · 14/08/2023 22:42

She's a lodger, therefore she follows your house rules. I wouldn't have my bathroom window, or any window, open in winter either, so YANBU.

Just tell her, and if she can't do it then give her notice and get a new lodger. I've been both a landlord with a lodger and the lodger, and ultimately it's up to the person who owns the house what happens.

I'm trying to be understanding why she's opening the window..... and I can't reach any conclusions.

I just find it weird she's putting the heating on yet is keeping the bathroom window open and showing in the cold.

OP posts:
Meredusoleil · 14/08/2023 22:44

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:43

Can anyone explain how she's "cold" yet also keeps the bathroom window open?

Surely if you are cold you would be shutting windows?

I'm assuming she spends less time in the bathroom than her bedroom? Maybe she closes the window when she's in there, then opens it again when she leaves?

Set up a cleaning rota and get her to clean the bathroom, rather than you just do it.

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:50

@Meredusoleil she defo opens the windows when she's there. I can guarantee she will open the window if I close it,

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 14/08/2023 22:53

Perhaps she's embarrassed when she takes a shit, doesn't want to draw attention by opening the window, so leaves it always open. If you lived in a house share you'd want the window open, especially if you have a sensitive nose. Where did she live before? I'd say it's to do with wanting smells gone.

nameitagain · 14/08/2023 22:54

Can't you get the window latch modified so it only opens to the latch point and no further. People banging on about having ventilation seem to think you need the window wide open. You don't. Ajar in the latch is plenty for ventilation.

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:54

nameitagain · 14/08/2023 22:54

Can't you get the window latch modified so it only opens to the latch point and no further. People banging on about having ventilation seem to think you need the window wide open. You don't. Ajar in the latch is plenty for ventilation.

It's the worst isn't it.... but I would have thought she would have used the air freshener?

OP posts:
UpaladderwatchingTV · 14/08/2023 22:56

It sounds to me like you and your lodger are not compatible OP, just give her notice. Then, before you agree to let someone else lodge with you, think about the rules that you want them to live by, and ensure they are well aware of them - issue them in writing, and ask them to sign their agreement. Simple!