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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to insist bathroom window stays shut in winter

159 replies

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 21:36

I've got a new lodger and she's been putting on the heating in her room (can control individual bedroom heating) but she will leave the bathroom window open all the time.

I don't think it's a bad thing to leave the bathroom window open, however it's a bit contradictory - she's always cold and the bathroom window needs to be open all year round. The shower doesn't have a door and it can be cold, so it's not the best in winter generally as despite an extractor fan it's best if the window is also opened (or at least after you've showered).

I hate confrontation but I can see her being "cold" in winter and using up lots of gas and as well as keeping the upstairs bathroom window open.

AIBU to expect it to be shut the majority of the day?

OP posts:
CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 14/08/2023 22:05

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:00

Because I don't bow down to how others want to treat the house?

Surely you would be saying that to her - she's not flexible is she not?

Typical mums net behaviour though...

Show quote history

It's your attitude. You seem to have no idea how to look after a house, or consider another person who is paying you money to live there. You are refusing to listen to the majority.

Typical mums net behaviour though...
Throwing that out just makes you look like a troll. Try engaging properly rather than going with insults. Not everyone has the temperament to be a landlord.

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:06

It gets ventilation via doors opening and trickle vents.
That's not a lot of ventilation though.

I think there's a difference between a house that regularly gets aired and a house that doesn't. I'm willing to accept I'm unreasonable though and a product of my upbringing because we had windows open every morning in most weathers to get proper fresh air in.

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:06

Letterposter · 14/08/2023 22:05

Op, it just feels like you are bringing up
excuses and dodging questions.

Have you spoken to her?

get a lamp or battery operated lights that people put on their staircase and they light up with movement.

also, please try to remember you posted in AIBU, asking if you were being unreasonable. Most ppl have said yes.
what more?

I need to speak to her in winter.

I'm asking how others do it. I really doubt anyone has a cold home and has their windows open when it's really cold and is happy to shower.....

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:07

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:06

It gets ventilation via doors opening and trickle vents.
That's not a lot of ventilation though.

I think there's a difference between a house that regularly gets aired and a house that doesn't. I'm willing to accept I'm unreasonable though and a product of my upbringing because we had windows open every morning in most weathers to get proper fresh air in.

I don't have an issue with mould in my home. There is enough ventilation with trickle vents, external doors being opened and windows opened as needed..... I don't overly heat the home either which is what differs to others.

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:08

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:06

It gets ventilation via doors opening and trickle vents.
That's not a lot of ventilation though.

I think there's a difference between a house that regularly gets aired and a house that doesn't. I'm willing to accept I'm unreasonable though and a product of my upbringing because we had windows open every morning in most weathers to get proper fresh air in.

I don't need an open window and a radiator that's on... especially in a room where people are naked and full of tiles and two external walls, so it's cold.

OP posts:
Haretest · 14/08/2023 22:09

Are you the person who posted about their lodger, using the heating and the bathroom
windows, a week or so ago and were firmly told you were being unreasonable?

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:10

@CantThinkOfANameAtAll I don't know how to look after house? Despite having a house with no mould and well maintained? Ok..... another throw away comment by a mums netter based on them wanting to put someone down.

You don't know my house, the layout, or my living habits. So why do you think you can pass such a comment?

OP posts:
CharlotteStreetW1 · 14/08/2023 22:10

Just explain to her why you don't want the window open 24/7 in winter (you have a perfectly good reason i.e. not wanting the whole house and your room being cold ). Assuming she's a reasonable human being (and a respectful tenant), it shouldn't be an issue surely? And if it is, get rid.

Or maybe invest in a lock showing enaged/vacant so the door can be kept shut?

AIBU to insist bathroom window stays shut in winter
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:11

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:06

It gets ventilation via doors opening and trickle vents.
That's not a lot of ventilation though.

I think there's a difference between a house that regularly gets aired and a house that doesn't. I'm willing to accept I'm unreasonable though and a product of my upbringing because we had windows open every morning in most weathers to get proper fresh air in.

In addiction we shower every day so it would be ventilated....

OP posts:
mumda · 14/08/2023 22:12

Heating on today? Get a new lodger.

Gnomegnomegnome · 14/08/2023 22:13

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:06

I need to speak to her in winter.

I'm asking how others do it. I really doubt anyone has a cold home and has their windows open when it's really cold and is happy to shower.....

Show quote history

But people have told you how they do it and that they are happy to have the windows open when it’s cold but…..

Your heater doesn’t work in your bedroom
You have no light switch outside your room
You are allergic to fresh air
You don’t like marmalade
You have an elephant in the attic
You don’t like your lodger

Have I forgotten anything?

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:13

mumda · 14/08/2023 22:12

Heating on today? Get a new lodger.

It has been raining her a lot today and people wearing coats. My bedroom window is open though

OP posts:
Gh12345 · 14/08/2023 22:15

Good to keep windows open for circulation but only on vent, it does not need to be fully open

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:15

@Gnomegnomegnome typical mums nettter "you don't like her".

It's like the put downs are easy to pick out..... I should make a game, mums net bingo

OP posts:
Threenow · 14/08/2023 22:17

I only shut my bathroom window when I'm having a shower, or at night, because it would be easy for someone to get in. However, I don't heat my bedrooms (not in the UK, we have cold bedrooms here!). I think bathroom windows should be open as much as possible.

topnoddy · 14/08/2023 22:18

I'd open every window plus all the doors and then leave the heating on myself !

Don't forget to open the loft hatch so the elephant can get out though

Gnomegnomegnome · 14/08/2023 22:19

turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:15

@Gnomegnomegnome typical mums nettter "you don't like her".

It's like the put downs are easy to pick out..... I should make a game, mums net bingo

😂 go and have a nice cold shower to calm down

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:19

CharlotteStreetW1 · 14/08/2023 22:10

Just explain to her why you don't want the window open 24/7 in winter (you have a perfectly good reason i.e. not wanting the whole house and your room being cold ). Assuming she's a reasonable human being (and a respectful tenant), it shouldn't be an issue surely? And if it is, get rid.

Or maybe invest in a lock showing enaged/vacant so the door can be kept shut?

We have a bathroom lock.... the door really needs to be open for light. I can't switch on the hallway light as the switch isn't outside my bedroom so can have accidents when I need to pee in the middle of the night. Plus having the hallway light on costs money as well as lets light into the bedroom.

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:20

Threenow · 14/08/2023 22:17

I only shut my bathroom window when I'm having a shower, or at night, because it would be easy for someone to get in. However, I don't heat my bedrooms (not in the UK, we have cold bedrooms here!). I think bathroom windows should be open as much as possible.

What country are you in?

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:21

topnoddy · 14/08/2023 22:18

I'd open every window plus all the doors and then leave the heating on myself !

Don't forget to open the loft hatch so the elephant can get out though

Do you not like it when people call you out on shitty behaviour? Or don't listen to you?

OP posts:
CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 14/08/2023 22:21

You don't know my house, the layout, or my living habits. So why do you think you can pass such a comment?

Umm...because you have posted on this thread describing your layout, and your habits....

Now I know for certain you are taking the proverbial 🙄

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:22

People are giving a range of solutions and you're determined to argue that none of them are workable.
You need to fix the heating out for your room, have a light on the landing and close the bathroom door.

If you're this obsessed with keeping a bathroom door open and a window policies rather than make sensible home improvements then a lodger doesn't seem like the right set up to have.

Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:22

Gh12345 · 14/08/2023 22:15

Good to keep windows open for circulation but only on vent, it does not need to be fully open

I don't understand why her bedroom windows are never open.... even in summer and these hot days.... yet constantly had the bathroom window open....

Which is what I'm wondering? Is it a hygiene thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
turkeytwizzlerss · 14/08/2023 22:23

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 22:22

People are giving a range of solutions and you're determined to argue that none of them are workable.
You need to fix the heating out for your room, have a light on the landing and close the bathroom door.

If you're this obsessed with keeping a bathroom door open and a window policies rather than make sensible home improvements then a lodger doesn't seem like the right set up to have.

No I don't.

I've given plenty of reasons why I'm keeping my current set up as I am.

I'm being given no reason why I should allow perfectly good heat out of the bathroom, which has a radiator.

OP posts:
crumpet · 14/08/2023 22:23

Use a torch