AIBU to not want DH to engage with homeless man while baby DC is in his arms

[Fieryflips]

DH always tries to give charity when he can (a trait I have always admired) any time he sees a homeless person he will give if he has some loose change.

Yesterday we were in a London food court in a shopping mall and a homeless man came up to our table for change. Our 3 month old baby was sat on the side of the table the homeless man came to and DH was also on that side. The man was approaching all the tables, I said we didn't have any change. I really didn't have any change but also I was a bit nervous because DC was right there. DH said for the man to wait and gave him change.

I told DH not to engage people like that when DC was about because it makes me nervous and you don't know what could happen but DH thinks I'm being unreasonable. AIBU?

Poor man. He's not vermin you know. Anyone can find themselves homeless.

It’s a horrid term. I work with this patient group and we don’t use perjorative words like junkie.

Oh did you write the rule book did you? Offensive to you maybe, not in my book. Junkie is a slang term to describe someone who is consumed by addiction. I've been called a clothes Junkie, because I am always buying new clothes, so get off your high horse and stop the preaching.

It definitely is offensive and not a word anyone I’ve worked with in social
welfare services would use.

I like my high horse - I look good on it - like a knight

I would not leave my child with a homeless stranger or person begging. I would probably not chat alone to them in an alleyway.

In a busy food court in the daytime, with my partner nearby, I would have no issue ‘engaging’ with someone in this situation. I would probably give a couple of pounds and not £20 though.

Imagine being down on your luck and people constantly ignoring you or flinching if you come near them 😭In this situation the most you might get is a whiff of alcohol if the person was a heavy drinker. It was really unlikely they would be stabbing you with a heroin needle or stealing your baby or any of the other outlandish suggestions here.

@Velvetstraws i did work with someone once who got themselves all worked up insisting that P*ki wasn’t offensive, that it was no different to using the word Brit, and if I thought it was offensive, that was me being over sensitive. And I will say to you a version of what I said to her - would you use the word junkie to a vulnerable addict client you were working with?

' told dh not to engage with people like that' . Like what? You had never met this guy before, what can you possibly know about him?
Get off your high horse OP .

In this case, I am afraid you are wrong. You cannot use junkie like this in a professional context. It’s just horrid and offensive. You can’t say tramp, wino, smackhead etc fyi.
Just learn something from the thread and stop digging.

The majority of homeless people suffer from mental health problems. The lack of access to the means to keep clean, poor nutrition and communal lifestyle means there is a higher propensity to illness within the homeless community. You do homeless people no service by pretending this isn't the case. Denying the issues they face to be polite does nothing to help address them. Having a mental illness or disease is not shameful and acknowledging peoples disproportionate vulnerability isnt to insult them.

If any employee in my last job had used the term to refer to our service users they would have been disciplined.

You're in London, in a shopping centres food hall during the holidays. Anyone sat next to you, walking pass you could be a drug addict, violent or alcoholic and given how busy London is all year round, your chances are high. Maybe don't be so judgmental towards the less fortunate and encourage bad karma to come your way.

I've never been offered let alone done drugs. I rarely drink. I often think though, if I was homeless, I probably would use them. Anything to get through the day.

This.
Op you are being ridiculous.

Chances are the homeless person will buy drugs or drink with donated money - But he knows that already, surely.

Errr no 'we' are all not, if you are, sort yourself out and stop being so nasty

This made me genuinely chuckle.

Honestly OP, chalk this up to one of those moments you'll look back on in years to come and be boggled that this is what you were worried about.

Here is a recent news item screenshot that might help you.

I still don't understand why he couldn't be near your child. You haven't said what the problem was.
He didn't pay attention to your child as far as I can see so it wasn't even that.
You should try and be kind. Just imagine if you were homeless you'd want someone to help you and not be worried about you being near their child

Very well put.

🤣

I haven't used the word in a professional context!!! Nor have I said I would! Urghh so condescending and patronising.

The average person is, actually.

Unless you’re in the 1%, you’re closer to being homeless than not.

Drugs exist. People use them. Always have. Always will.

Do you accept it is offensive? From the screenshot:

‘A national campaign calling for drug and alcohol problems to be treated as a health condition has been launched.
People are being urged to stop using words such as alcoholic and junkie in the Scottish government drive.
Ministers aim to highlight the damage caused by the stigma of problem drug and alcohol use and how this can stop those affected from being able to get help.’

If you use discrimitory language off duty it says a lot about what you really think.