Do I need to calm down? Man peeing in the car park

[BogStandardBogWee]

So a bit of a weird one - meant in a lighthearted tone but also.. am I being a bit irrational

today I came out of the gym and when I got to the car park there was a man who had also been in the gym peeing in a bush in front of my car. As I came up to my car I could see that it was kind of running back towards my car 🤢 the conversation went:

me: uh, excuse me!? that’s disgusting

him: oh sorry! You caught me out haha

me: seriously though you couldn’t have used the gym toilet before you left?

it then escalated with him being arsey in an “alright luv calm down” sort of way, which became very patronising and included a lot of swearing

Because he was pissing me off I told him I’d decided to report him to the gym for his language/behaviour. I said it mainly just to annoy him more tbh

I haven’t done this. I probably won’t. I wouldn’t usually have the gumption to get into an argument.

I should let it go right? I don’t know why but I am still annoyed about it 😂

From 2020

Earlier this week, The Gazette reported on a video, showing an instance of public urination on Market Place, Basingstoke, after it was sent to Business Improvement District (BID) over concerns about the conduct of those filming.

The video wasn’t reported to the police at the time, but reactions to the article were mixed, with some voicing concern for the welfare of the woman being filmed, while others viewed her actions to be wrong.
Alan Stone, of BID, said: “No one helped her, they just stood and filmed and laughed. What kind of society are we living in that it is more important to get a Youtube clip than help people?”

Is urinating in public against the law? | Basingstoke Gazette

Interested and looked this up:

What the law says
While there is no general law making public urination illegal in the UK, there are a number of ways in which you can be found guilty for doing so:

Outraging Public Decency (Criminal Justice Act 2003) - prosecution under this act is extremely rare. However, a “plainly indecent” act carried out in public in front of two or more people, could result in an unlimited fine or prison terms
Indecent Exposure (Sexual Offences Act 2003) - Indecent exposure occurs when a person displays part of themselves in a public place that is considered as being offensive or morally unacceptable. Punishment can range from a fine to a maximum 2 years prison sentence.

Penalty Notice for Disorder - PND (Section 5 of Public Order Act 1986) - This is the likeliest course of action of a police officer who catches someone urinating in public. PNDs are used by officers to deal with low level, anti-social and nuisance behaviour. A fine of £50 or £80 is issued, to be payed within 21 days of receipt of the notice.

Finally, public urination is usually including in the by-laws of individual local authorities under Section 235 of the Local Government Act 1972. The Basingstoke and Deane bylaws state that “no person shall urinate or defecate in any public place” and that this is punishable by a fine of up to £500 (Level 2).

Is urinating in public against the law? | Basingstoke Gazette

Why should women have to tolerate poor male behavior? I manage to avoid weeing in car parks. I don't need to be told not to. If he's embarrassed, that's his fault. I expect he's not embarrassed at all, rather put out that a women dared to challenge his God given manly right to do whatever he damn well chooses.
He can do as women do, use the toilet or hold it. If he won't, it is deliberate exhibitionism.

Holy "Reaching much?!", Batman!

Jesus Christ. I would have advised the OP in exactly the same way if it had been a woman she had a go at (and yes, I have seen us women squatting for a wee, we aren't perfect!).

Don't turn this into a 'Poor repressed women!' debate, because it isn't.
My comment was about some people just itching for an argument, sort of like yourself it would seem.

Have a day off.

I would certainly complain to the gym about members' behaviour, if it was out of order, as this is. You are entitled to expect certain standards of behaviour and cleanliness in the gym and its car park.

However, all this seems to be on the increase and is yet another facet of male entitlement, in my view.
it is a public order offence and yet probably nothing will be done about it if you do report it to the police.

From now on, if I see a man urinating in a public place, I will report him as a flasher.
That may or may not get some action, but I think that reframing it as exposing themselves may bring some changes.

Report him! Think of it as a score for women kind!

It's a bit grim but I see people letting their dogs piss in the street all the time. They could make them piss at home but don't. Piss is piss, it's all grim.

Why are you making it about 'Men Vs Women's again?

OP was being argumentative. If it had been a woman pissing (and yes, some do. We don't get a free pass, we aren't perfect!) that she had a go at, I would have said the same thing.
The first comment, absolutely fine, it's disgusting and he shouldn't have been doing it.
The follow up comment, not needed. Just being argumentative. Move the hell on.

Stop making this some massive display of feminism and conveniently ignoring everything I'm saying (eg; it would have been the same if it had been a woman) so you can make it something it's not.

Don't argue with random people in the street. MALE OR FEMALE. It's like some of you WANT to be attacked.
Make your point. Move on. Simple.

Again, for those at the back.
This is REGARDLESS OF GENDER. NOT ABOUT WOMEN NEEDING TO BE MEEK/SOME OTHER BULLSHIT.

Won't be back. Can't be arsed with people being argumentative for the sake of it, have better things to do with my time.
Hence the point of my comment 👋👍

I live rurally. I have seen more women peeing in public than men! One was defecating. They were obviously trying to be discreet and did not expect me and the dog to come past! I just looked the other way. During COVID, all our public toilets were locked down and for many months after. I guess it happens...someone might have Crohn's and I have seen people going up to the toilet block only to find it locked up. Why embarrass them further?

I wish I could have a day off from the amount of women who will defend the shitty behaviour of dickhead men.

This ‘don’t upset men by being angry’ argument reminds me of the sort of internalised misogyny my 85 year old mother trots out. It’s in the same category as ‘men like women to look attractive’ ‘men don’t like career women’ - it’s all centred around what ‘men’ want.

And you always know it’s misogyny when people say things like ‘women are just as bad’.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Of course it's about gender. I can honestly say I've never encountered a women weeing in public (remote locations excluded). Men however seem to think the world is their toilet with little regard for who might have to witness it.
If men don't want to be called out for being gross, they shouldn't be gross. Same goes for women, but funnily enough it doesn't seem to be as much of an issue.

seeing as its generally younger men rather than elderly men (who are far more likely to have bladder control issues), i do think its pure laziness/entitlement. Went past a bloke on the side of the motorway this week (no hazards on) he hadn't even bothered to walk behind nearby bushes so was in full view and was looking at his phone at the same time! likewise on hols travelling through europe (where sometimes you have to pay for motorway service loos)....lots of men just peeing in the car park but no women (surprise surprise).

The field I work in, I know there are many, many women with weak pelvic floors. So many of them have restricted social lives because of it. So when I see a woman peeing outside, I just try to "be kind" and assume she had no choice. I don't think it's something most people enjoy having to do.

My pelvic floor is fine, but years ago in Iceland I peed outside. In the wildnerness luckily with no-one about except my DH. I hadn't long been to the loo. I don't know if it was the cold wind or what, but I needed to go suddenly and that's all there was to it.

ALL MEN who piss in the street like a dog, when their are toilets close by, ARE disgusting pigs.

Resent away on behalf of the unmannered, entitled, feral lads, I’m sure they’ll be forever grateful at you defending their shitty behaviour ⭐️

This thread is like the rules of misogyny bingo. Spot the rules the op has been accused of breaking:

1. Women are responsible for what men do.
2. Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
3. Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
4. Women’s opinions are violence against men, thus male violence against women is justified.
5. Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.
6. Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breastfeeding babies deserve punishment.
7. Women should always be grateful to men for everything.
8. Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.
9. Men always know the “real reasons” for everything women do and say.

10. The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad. 11. Whatever women suffer from, it is worse when it happens to men. 12. Women’s ability to recognize male behavior patterns is misandry. 13. Angry women are crazy. Angry men have trouble expressing themselves. 14. Women have all the rights they need: The right to remain silent.

*there

Why do French men pee on the street?

Every year, Paris tries new, 'revolutionary' methods to stop men from peeing outside.
In 2018, red flower pots equipped with urinals, allowed men to unzip and relieve themselves right on the streets of the French capital’s iconic Ile St Louis. The following year, another short-lived urinal project tried to make fertiliser out of men’s pee.
Of course, public urination is a problem in most big cities, and public restrooms are an essential service, especially for people experiencing homelessness. Yet many street urinators in Paris are offenders of opportunity rather than necessity. The city has even come up with a name for it: 'Les pipis sauvages', or 'wild pee'.
In her first column for the BBC, Daphnée Denis investigates why Paris is so prone to public urination: is it a historical, sociological or psychological issue? What is the real reason behind this habit?

Why do French men pee on the street? - BBC Reel

Stopped at a motorway service area the other day, saw a woman peeing in the bushes just near the dog walking area. I just wondered if the queues inside were so bad she couldn’t wait. It was very busy with holiday traffic.

The war against wild toileting: is there any way to stop people weeing – and worse – in the street? | Hygiene | The Guardian

Public peeing has become commonplace, with some men even urinating through letterboxes. Why has it become so popular and can splashback paint put a stop to it?

Yeah, I usually think something like that. Would feel bad to have a go at her. Could be any reason. Like you say, queues inside and she could have pelvic floor issues. Who knows what someone else is going through?

Imagine if my old mum got caught short? I know she would die of shame if this happened to her, but if she needed to do it, it would be from a position of having no option but to do it or wet herself. I would rather that than someone going on public transport after wetting themselves really and messing up the seats.

I (f) recently went for a pee in a bush next to a car park, no toilets around, I was pretty desperate and have a weak bladder, I checked no one was around first.
Whilst I know it’s not ideal peeing in public, I tried to be as quick and discreet as possible.

Definitely report! What a ahole

Lots of stories about getting caught short, public toilets being locked etc

I am not that uptight that I’m horrified by the thought of any man woman or child doing a wild wee when needed

what does seem ridiculous to me is pissing in a car park when there is a perfectly good loo (actually very nice of the ladies is anything to go by) available 60 seconds away

A guy pissed at an bus stop i was standing by once. It was openly on a busy main rosd and ran over all the bus stop. Vile. He proceeded to walk away. I shouted after him that he was disgusting and he laughed and said. "It was onky a piss". Tbh he did look quite strange so possibly unwell.

So presumably he went from "leaving the gym, not needing a wee" to "so desperate, he can't wait until he drives home" and wees out in public...?

Sounds like a guy who wants to get caught tbh.

I'm guessing you don't know the guys name, but I'd "just mention it" to the folks on reception in the gym. You might not be the first person to see this. After all, once is a mistake, twice is poor judgement, three times is a problem.